Moving on…and crossing paths. Chapter 1© Christa Price, August 2005

Gonorrhea. And I have it.

Emma still couldn't bring herself to talk to Jay since the ravine"incident" last year. It was more than her just being sick. It was the fact that after being able to be so free with Jay, she still had feelings she wasn't allowing herself to come to grips with. Arguing the matter with herself, she decided what was best…or so she thought.

I don't feel like that. And especially not for Jay Hogart. It was a stupid mistake.

It was a week before school started, and Emma was running around, making sure each of her school supplies were in perfect order.

"Mom! Mom? Where'd I put my bag?" she yelled from the living room.

"Next to the door. Right where you left it on the last day of school," replied Spike coming from the kitchen.

She was holding Jack, Emma's baby brother, who was wriggling for freedom from her grip.

Putting him down Spike added, "Em, why don't you just relax? School doesn't start 'til Monday. You've got time." She put her hand on her shoulder and smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be ready. I really want things to be better this year."

She went and sat on the couch, sighing deeply.

---

The night before school started, Emma hardly slept. Individual thoughts kept shoving themselves into her head.

Thoughts along the lines of: 'What if people are still talking? I don't know if I can deal with that' and 'Seeing Jay Hogart is the last thing I need' still lingered there in the back of her mind, preventing her from any chance of rest.

She sighed and turned over, looking at the clock. 3:19 in the morning and still so much to think about. Finally, when the alarm went off at 7:30, Emma got up, dressed, and went upstairs. Spike was already in the kitchen, along with Snake and Jack. Her parents smiled and each greeted her with a "Morning Em."

"Morning," she said, stifling a yawn.

"Sleep ok?" asked Snake between a bite of eggs.

"Uh, not great. I just had a nightmare, that's all. It woke me up," she reassured them, noting the instant look of worry they seemed to get whenever something bothered her.

"Honey, are you sure you're ok? I know things have been hard for you lately. And I--."

"Yes, mom," she interrupted, "I'm fine. Really. Listen, I'll be home a little late, I wanted to meet up with Manny after school."

"Ok…but don't stay out too late. You know how I worry."

"Yeah, I've noticed that," chuckled Emma, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

She grabbed her tan messenger bag and walked out the door. It was a particularly sunny day, which made Emma smile in approval. Breathing in the crisp morning air, she jogged down the front steps of her house and began the walk to school. It was refreshing, being by herself, outdoors, no worries nagging at her conscience. At least she had this time of innocence before meeting people's stares in the halls.

When Emma reached the front steps, she stopped dead, staring at the sign that read 'Degrassi Community School' with a knot in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure if it had been from her lack of sleep, or her eagerness to put the past behind her. Perhaps it was a combination of both. She was so focused on the sign that she didn't notice Manny Santos appear in front of her, smiling.

"Hey, Em!" she exclaimed happily.

Emma jumped about a foot in surprise.

"Huh? Oh, Manny! Hey!"

"How was your vacation? Did you do anything fun?" inquired Manny.

She had gone to Spain with her family for her vacation.

"Uhh, no, not really. Same old thing. How was Spain?"

"It was a lot more fun than being stuck here, but I have to say I'm glad to be back. A plane ride with my parents isn't what you'd call invigorating," she laughed.

"Haha, I bet," Emma replied with a smile.

They locked arms and walked into the school together talking happily.

---

Jay pulled up to the school in his orange Civic just in time to see Emma and Manny disappear inside. Turning up the volume on his radio, he sat, transfixed with the spot where the two girls had just been.

"Dude, are you just gonna sit there all day looking like a zombie?" came a voice, breaking Jay's trance.

Looking out his window, he saw Spinner standing there, waiting impatiently for him.

"C'mon! I don't wanna be late. I don't want anything to happen to make Ms. H. mad," he said with a fair amount of anxiety in his voice.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Overachiever," smirked Jay. "Shouldn't you be somewhere playing teacher's pet to Mrs. Kwan or something?"

"Haha," he said sarcastically. "Look, I just don't wanna mess this up, okay?"

"Yeah, right," Jay laughed. He got out of his car and walked casually up the steps and into the school followed by Spinner.

When he got to his locker, Spinner spotted Ms. Hatzilakos walking towards her office and jumped at an attempt for brown-nosing. "Listen, man, I'll see you later." And he darted off to catch up with the principal.

Jay raised an eyebrow and stated, "That's it. He's lost his mind."

He continued onto his own locker and placed his black messenger bag inside. He closed it to reveal Alex leaning there, waiting. His eyes narrowed on her, and he walked past without acknowledgement.

"Jay, wait. I was hoping we could talk," she said.

For the first time he could remember, Alex seemed eager to talk to him. It made him feel sort of macho.

He stopped and turned on his heel. Raising his eyebrows he said,"Well? I'm listening."

"I was just….well, I thought that maybe…"

"Maybe what, Alex?"

"…Maybe…you wanted to…go to a party with me tonight?"

His expression softened a little and a smile brimmed on his lips.

He eyed her suspiciously, and when he couldn't seem to find a catch, nodded.

"Okay," Alex said.

"Okay."

---

"Mmmm…food," stated J.T. as he joined Emma, Manny, Toby, and Liberty at lunch that day.

"Mm, I second that," gulped Toby through a bite of hamburger.

"You two are like human garbage disposals," Manny declared, laughing.

It had turned out to be an ok day so far, no one seemed to be staring, and Emma was relieved to hear that new gossip was circulating throughout the school.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, I mean, it's nothing huge, but I heard Jay and Alex were back together," Manny said unenthusiastically.

At Jay's name, Emma's stomach tightened. But, to her surprise, it wasn't out of hate.

"Oh…"

"Something wrong, Em?"

"No…I just…," she trailed off, looking at a far table in the cafeteria where Jay had just sat down with Alex, their lips now locked in a passionate kiss. "I just didn't expect her to take Jay back."

Watching them made her stomach jump uncomfortably. Her cheeks were hot, and her whole body stiffened.

Am I... jealous? I can't be. It's Jay. But…what if I am?

Shaking the thought, Emma stood up.

"I have to go. I was supposed to help Snake with something," she lied, leaving the group looking confused.

Across the cafeteria Jay had seen Emma staring at him. But what she didn't know was that he was staring back. Even kissing Alex he had been watching her. He had become fixated.

I sure know how to pick 'em, he thought to himself, watching Emma's blond hair swaying around the corner with the rest of her. He couldn't help staring.

"Something interesting about the wall?" Alex chimed in. "Hello? Earth to Jay."

He brought his attention back to the cafeteria and Alex, kissing her again deeply.

"Well, I missed you too," she said raising her eyebrows.

---

Emma couldn't face Jay. It was just too hard.

If I go up to him, I'll probably end up jumping him, she thought to herself walking to Media Immersion a few days later.

Every day Emma would watch Jay from afar. It was like some kind of fairytale romance; she, the Cinderella character hoping for her prince to come, and he looking for the perfect princess. Sure a few details would have to be changed, but still.

And every day Jay would kiss Alex, and be with Alex, not with her. It seemed like maybe she was reading into her emotions too much.

It's a crush, not even that. It's me mistaking disgust for a crush.

When Friday rolled around, Emma was more than happy to embrace the weekend. When the bell rang she hopped out of her seat and ran all the way to her locker, eager to collect her bag and books to head home to isolate herself. However, things could never be that easy. She was in such a rush she didn't notice Jay standing near her locker and collided head on. She was temporarily in shock.

Oh my god, she thought as she stood up.

"Whoa, Green Peace," he said, bringing her back to reality, "late for a peace rally?"

"Sorry. Just wanna get home."

"Right," he replied, getting up and brushing himself off.

Emma sighed and brushed past Jay, leaving him standing alone.

"Next time I might sue!" he called, not moving, but simply smiling to himself.

You're an idiot. A real class act. Next time I might sue? What is that? Agh…