An: This takes place two months after Lelouch's death.


It felt... numb. Shouldn't it hurt? Lelouch stared blankly, watching as the blade was pulled out of his chest. Although there wasn't much pain, Lelouch felt suddenly fatigued, his eyes blurry. So this was what dieing felt like? It wasn't as bad as he thought then. Or was it? If he was dieing, and there was an afterlife, he had no doubts were he would be going and it wouldn't have any clouds to lounge around on.

Suddenly he lurched forward, his body starting to fail, but he managed to put his foot out to catch his balance. He was forced to balance himself once again, as if his body was protesting the very idea of trying to stand. For the moment, he felt like he had it under control, until he realized he was lying down, Nunnally staring at him in complete disbelief. When did he fall of the stand, where Suzaku was standing?

Wait, he wasn't Suzaku anymore. He had killed Suzaku when he handed him Zero's mask, forcing him into the roll that he once wore. Zero would protect Nunnally, that he made sure of. After all, Nunnally would rule the new Britannia, a symbol of the prosperity that would come with his death.

Lelouch felt a surge of relief and happiness that would of put a blinding smile on his face if he didn't feel utterly exhausted. Yes, he had did what he set to do, why he even formed the black knights in the first place. He had made a place, no, a world, where Nunnally could live in happily. And that was all that mattered to him in the end.

Through his numbness, he managed to feel his hand being squeezed. He turned his gaze onto Nunnally, who was quickly realizing that he was dieing and was desperately trying to talk to him, but he couldn't hear her. He noticed her violet eyes, usually so full of love, was turning frantic. Lelouch was suddenly hit with emotion. He couldn't leave her in the dark about this, he had to tell Nunnally what he did, why he did the horrible things he had done. He had to tell her this was for her.

But how? He could see his face in her eyes. It was nearly expressionless, except for the small smile. A smile that was leaking blood out of the corner of his mouth. There was no way he would be able to explain it all in the time he had left, but he couldn't let her remember him as the most hated person in the world. It was selfish, but he wanted Nunnally to remember him as the caring brother that held her hand as she fell asleep. It felt so long ago, since he last held her hand in such a way.

He gathered all of his willpower, and looked into Nunnally's eyes, her very soul. He willed her to know, that he still loved her, that he died bringing peace, that all of this was planned. He wanted her to know that he died for her and he didn't want her to feel responsible for his death.

It felt like a long time had passed. Lelouch couldn't help but be anxious. Did she get his final message? Suddenly tears formed in her eyes and was slowly but steadily streaming down her cheeks. She looked more frantic, bordering on hysteria.

Maybe it was God's one last kindness, before he died and went to hell. Maybe he wanted to hear so bad, that he expended all of his energy and managed to hear just long enough. Maybe it was a mixture of both, but whatever it was, he had heard her response, even if just a part of it.

"This is unfair! I would have been happy just being with you, brother! I can't-"

he could of cried tears of happiness. She had, somehow, gotten the message.


Nunnally woke up with a jerk, her breathe short and shallow. Her heart was racing, and she was covered in a cold sweat. She had the same nightmare again; It always was the same one. She sat up, rubbing her hand along her throat. Her throat felt raw and rather painful. She must of screamed at some point during her nightmare.

Yes, already she could hear the pounding of feet as they race toward her room, all of them wanting to make sure that their empress was alright. She let out a small sigh. Why does she have to bother so many people with her nightmares?

The door was thrown open, and one of the palace guards entered, already aiming down the sight of his pistol. He quickly moved into room followed by two more guards. One guard, the one who entered first, quickly went to her bed side, they other two quickly scrutinizing every corner of her room.

Nunnally hesitantly spoke out. "You don't have to do this. I just had a nightmare...that's all." The guard that was by her bed shook his head.

"It is standard protocol, My Lady." Nunnally blinked in shock. The voice was too feminine to be mistaken, revealing that the guard by her bed was indeed a female. The palace uniform, she bet, did not do the guard's figure justice and did well to hide the fact that she was a member of the fairer sex.

The guards search for the imaginary intruder for a little while longer, making Nunnally feel uncomfortable as they went through some of more... personal stuff. She blushed as one of the guards opened her underwear drawer. Why are they looking in there? It not even possible for any Intruder to fit in there! She thought miserably.

"Are you quite done yet? I believe that you have harassed Empress Nunnally enough for tonight."

Nunnally turned her head towards the door and smiled in relief. "Sayoko-san!", Standing in the doorway was indeed her former caretaker, now full time guardian, wearing nothing but her blue pajamas and a maid's hat over her rather messy hair. She had her arms folded across her chest, and a small frown as she glared slightly at the guard that opened the underwear drawer.

"I have this situation under control." Sayoko continued, her voice somewhat sleepy, walking into the room as she talked. "as her official protector, I request that you all leave the room." she stopped right in front of the guard by Nunnally's bedside. "Would that be a problem, Guard-san?" she asked, staring at the female guard with an annoyed look.

The lead guard shook her head, looking a bit tense to Nunnally, and motion for the other two guards to follow. As the group passed, the guard that opened the drawer mumbled to his companion "Some protector... we were here way before her!" before he could continue with his complaint, a kunai embedded in the carpet by his foot, causing him to yelp and stagger back a bit.

"I was late," Sayoko started, annoyed by his lack of respect, "because I know everything that goes on in this room. Therefore, I knew that there was no external threat to Empress Nunnally safety and reacted as such. Besides, I sleep in the nude, and had to put on some decent clothing." Sayoko smirked a bit as the complaining guard stuttered.

"B-b-b-utt!"

"Forget it, private." the Female guard interrupted, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get back to our duties."she then strode towards the door with the private following, his vizor covered gaze never leaving Sayoko.

"Please close the door on the way out, Private-san." Sayoko asked with a small grin, making a point to stress his low rank to him. He did so, mumbling under his breath the entire way. The door closed, leaving Nunnally and Sayoko alone.

Shaking her head, Nunnally questioned, "Why do you always try and rile them up, Sayoko? They already distrust you since your Japanese. It doesn't help you if you give them reason to believe stereotypes."

"It matters little to me what people think." Sayoko waved her hand dismissively. Turning to face Nunnally, she asked, "Was it the same nightmare?" her tone was gentle, her gaze soft.

Despite that, Nunnally shivered. In a quiet voice, she answered "Yes." she felt so feeble. How could she govern a empire that covers so much of the globe if she was afraid of a few measly nightmares? Sayoko must think she was a cowered.

If she did, Sayoko was doing a brilliant job hiding it. She sat on the side of her bed next to Nunnally and reached out with her hand, slowly weaving and pulling her fingers through Nunnally's hair. They continued to stay like this, content with sitting like this. Although Nunnally definitely loved Sayoko like a mom (But would never, ever, replace her real mother), they barely had any time to act like such. It wouldn't be befitting for the Empress to be seen in such a way with someone not of her status, or so says her sister. And moments when both of them are alone and they weren't busy with individual work was indeed rare.

It was a few minutes later when Sayoko spoke. "Would you like to talk about it?" she asked, her voice still gentle.

Nunnally had close her eyes when Sayoko began and was enjoying the motherly contact that Sayoko provided. Sighing, she opened her eyes, and slowly began. "I only remember parts of it." although she knew it was terrifying, enough to make her scream, she never managed to entirely remember the dream that plagued her so. Not that she was complaining. She was, after all, quite happy to forget the cause of so many sleepless nights.

"It was scary..." of course it was scary, Nunnally mused grimly. It was a nightmare. "There was blood... a lot of blood. And brother... he was there. I-i think he was covered head to toe in blood... something happened, I'm not sure... but I think he did something... one thing lead to another... and then... h-he died.." there was tears in her eyes and were dangerously close to falling, but she did feel a little bit better by getting it off her chest.

Sayoko pulled her into a hug. Suddenly the tears that she was holding back was cascading down her cheeks and Nunnally felt herself shook with silent sobs. She hated it. She hated the fact that she was crying. She was a leader for God's sake! Good leaders didn't let themselves be broken to the point of sobbing over dreams! She hated remembering her brother's death and many painful memories he stirred that she rather forget. Remembering was too painful, and she couldn't handle the pain.

Most of all, she hated herself because she couldn't remember her brother without the pain. She felt like she was betraying his memory by deliberately trying to forget him. Would he be angered or saddened by her acts? Would he see it as an act of betrayal on her part, trying to forget him? And what made it worse was the fact that she would never know. The one person who could answer, the last remaining part of her family was gone. Gone, and would never be coming back no matter how many paper cranes she folded, no matter how much she wished it. No matter how much she wanted it.

So she sat there, crying over her lose once again. She sobbed until all of her tears ran dry; until she couldn't cry. She sat there, struggling and failing to control her sporadic breathing. She sat there, trying her very hardest to get the image of her dead brother out of her mind.

It felt like hours until Nunnally managed to regain control. It could have been, but she didn't know for sure. Her eyes felt irritated and puffy. They must of look swollen and redder then her comforter. She also felt exhausted. Her body felt heavy, like it was made of lead. But she also felt extremely better. For the meantime, at least, she had gotten much of what was bugging her off her mind.

"All better?" Sayoko asked. She was still hugging Nunnally, never once letting go of her throughout her crying. Nodding, Nunnally slowly pulled out of Sayoko's hug. Noticing she had left a noticeable wet spot on the front of Sayoko's pajamas she began to apologize for her outburst. "I'm sorry," she started, only to be firmly interrupted by Sayoko.

"Don't be. Everyone has a right to grieve after a tragic event, and your no different. In fact, it is better to grieve now then to keep it bottled up inside. Besides," Sayoko added, noticing Nunnally was staring at her semi-wet clothing. "their just pajamas. A good cleaning and they will be as good as new."Smiling slightly, Nunnally nodded. She then let out a yawn.

"You're tired." Sayoko said, more of a statement then a question. "Rest Nunnally. You have another day of work for you tomorrow and it is best to be rested." Grabbing Nunnally's shoulders, Sayoko gently pushed her down on her bed.

Nunnally nodded her head and let out a small "Mmhm," being to tired to do anything else. Sayoko brought up the rest of her comforter and covered the rest of her body, besides her head.

She was asleep before Sayoko left the room.


An: So, comments. How did you guys like it? What could be improved? This is technically my first serious story and i want to make it the best it could be. I checked the story for grammatical and spelling mistakes to the best of my ability, but I'm not the best when it comes to this, so don't be afraid to point out mistakes. However, flames will be ignored and used for cooking smores.

little background: This idea popped in my head during the time when i was grounded. I have all of this pretty much planned, but it could be subject to change. I was grounded until a couple days ago(since my state standardize testing scores came in, all commended(A+)) and spent a couple days writing this. I probably have a few friends that isn't going to be happy with me, but i plan to text them later and explain.

Until next time(whenever that will be)!