Pinocchio vs Carl Clover


Greetings again fellow BlazeBlue community. I present unto you a random idea that came into the halls of my mind when I just watched the ERB of Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock yesterday. This is my first attempt at this and I thought that it would be a good idea to give it a try. Apparently, Blazeblue Extra shift was taken down for some reason so until I finish completely retyping it, this little treat will have to do.


Pinocchio: Hey there folks, it's me Pinocchio

The wooden boy puppet that I'm sure y'all know!

Started out naughty and being bad gave me joy

Now I'm Geppeto's perfect, wonderful little boy.

Hey kid, you really sure you need them drugs?

I'll tell ya' something that works better, it's called a hug.

No more lies from my mouth, so in essence I'm a saint

Newsflash, you a shota boy nerd and cool? You just ain't.

Hey Nirvana, ditch the boy toy and come hang out with me

And I'll show you how quite loveable I ca be

With my charm, fame , and looks so whaddaya say

You willing to meet me half or even all the way?

Here's my address, I live in literature glory

With my simple, clear-cut and actually sensible story.


Carl: Salutations Mister Puppet, the name is Carl Clover

To me your story was just…. meh and it could've been better

After all, people use it to put kids to sleep

Wonderful little boy? More like possessed wooden creep

Games, manga, and even anime to franchise me

All you've got is what? A 1990's Walt Disney kids movie

Don't need no strings to make me stand, smile , or frown

For my superior theatrics shall bring you down!

What's that Ada…. Oh, you agree too?

That he's just a walking nutcracker compared to you.

Now, now Ada, let's be even a little bit nice

To our country boy guest filled with dirt and lice.

Face it chump, I was born real, while you can die from one termite

That just shows that you're all just bark and no bite


Pinocchio: Whoa, cut back on the harshness or are they there to hide

You're rather obvious lack of any manly pride?

Kinda' makes sense, since you're fighting you're better

Emcee in raps and story, while you nothin' but a side character.

Just look kid, I've got the freakin' Blue Fairy to back me !

Ya' got a psycho red head, an ADHD squirrel chick, and a trigger happy blonde that's just too whiny

Oh and speaking of that manly pride you oh so lack

Phantom of the Opera just called me up, said they want their stunt double back

I've got this battle in the bag, so for you this won't end well

Why don't ya go home and sip tea with your vampire girlfriend, Rachel!


Carl: *intense blush* G-G-G-Girlfriend?! H-Hey, listen here mister

I can't.. no.. I'm not her b-b-boyfriend because she deserves someone better!

I mean, after all, she's very smart and very pretty

Her fashion sense is amazing and her style is so classy

Most people say she's cold and mean, I guess that's kinda true

But I know deep in my heart that she's very kind too

Plus… she is available, if you come to think of it…

Wait, what am I saying?! No… I mean… um, you…. oh forget it!

I refuse to dignify this battle any longer

Tally ho, Sayonara, and Good day you walking, wooden cur!


WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT? YOU DECIDE!