A few slight changes made from version 1…
Mrs. Susan Carter was a spry woman for 85. Still of mostly sound mind, though a bit of confused thinking and dementia was beginning to affect her. She religiously walked a good 3-5 miles almost every day to maintain her excellent physical fitness. She liked to vary her routes, always looking for new and interesting things to discover.
On this morning her path took her to the Iolani Palace. As she was approaching, Steve McGarrett was pulling up to his usual illegal parking spot after a mid-morning interview with a murder witness. Mrs. Carter immediately noticed the shiny nice black Mercury. Instant feelings ran through her mind, and before she even began to think through her actions, she intentionally stumbled at the precise moment McGarrett approached the Palace steps. Immediately he stooped to assist her. As he did so, she deftly snitched his car keys from his coat pocket, where she had seen him deposit them a second earlier. Once assured she was fine and uninjured, he made his way up to his office and continued the day's work.
After she was sure he was long gone, Mrs. Carter slowly moved towards the vehicle. She gently pulled open the driver's door, entered, and just sat for a moment, savoring the smells and colors and feel of the luxury car. Then she adjusted the seat and mirrors to properly fit her small frame and carefully and tenderly pulled away, with a feeling of pure joy in her heart.
About an hour later, Danny Williams pulled up, casually noticed the lack of McGarrett's car, and idly wondered where he was. Danny bounced up the Palace steps and into the office. May caught him immediately, and said the boss wanted to see him wiki wiki.
Surprised, he questioned, "Steve's here?"
May's reply, "Yes, in his office, waiting for you…"
Danny entered Steve's office and asked where his car was. Steve's first thought was some practical joke. A step over to the lanai and glance to the street below and he knew his car had been stolen. A myriad of thoughts rushed through his head, none stuck very long, his mind was busy with the murder case that featured prominently right now. However, an APB was immediately issued for his car. Steve figured they'd look at that problem in more detail later, his gut instinct telling him it was not a threatening situation. Most likely punks or something…
A few hours later, they got a major break on the homicide, two reliable witnesses came forward, all that was left was to wrap up the details.
They had just finished the lunch that was delivered when a call came in that a Mrs. Carter was found cruising on a little-used highway on the far side of the island in Steve's Mercury. McGarrett "requested" that she be brought to his office immediately. Thirty minutes later she was ushered into his office by Patrolman Nelson, who returned to duty. Danny immediately took a liking to this diminutive woman, while Steve, with great effort, repressed a growl as he recognized the woman from that morning. Politeness and respect for one's elders was a trait drilled into Steve by his mother from the time he was a small boy, and despite anger, he remained true to his upbringing.
Offering Mrs. Carter a seat, he remained leaning against his desk. She smiled calmly at him.
"Ma'am… Mrs. Carter… could you please explain what you did with my car and why?" Steve evenly asked.
"Mr. …. McGarrett… is that right?"
"Yes, ma'am," was the tight reply.
"Oh yes, I have read about you I the papers and heard about you often. It's a pleasure to meet you. You seem like a wonderful man a great detective. Oh… your car…..Well… you see.. it … well…. Mr. McGarrett… Howard's birthday was yesterday, and he has been on my mind so much… Howard was such a dear man… so wonderful…."
While Steve is impatiently stifling an outburst, Danny is off to the side nearly unsuccessfully holding in laughter…
"Please, Mrs. Carter, I'd like to know why you stole my car!" uttered a bit more loudly than he had intended.
With a horrified shocked look spreading across her aged features, Mrs. Carter blurted out, "STOLE YOUR CAR? I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR CAR!"
Steve had deduced, without much effort, that she had indeed pickpocketed his keys intentionally earlier, and purposely taken his car. And he promptly told her so (but politely).
"Can you please explain that, ma'am?"
"Well, as I was saying about Howard. We were married for 55 years, wonderful years, I loved Howard so much…
"Howard died almost 6 years ago, Mr. McGarrett. The last car we had was one just like yours. And like you, Howard kept it up so well, shiny and clean. Ours was even the same color. When I saw you drive up in that car, and having just remembered his birthday, I simply felt transported back in time. And then you stepped out of the car, you do look a bit like he did many years ago, a dapper young man! Slender, but strong, like a well rooted sapling in solid ground."
"And then, I just so much wanted to sit in that car and wander through memories of times we shared together. Before I knew it, Mr. McGarrett, I purposely stumbled in front of you to borrow your keys and use your car for a while.."
Unable to contain his impatience any longer, Steve fervently demanded, "You PURPOSELY fell to STEAL my keys and car?... "
Then, more politely, "Please continue, Mrs. Carter…"
"Well, you see, I just wanted to drive around a while in it and remember. Howard and I frequently took long drives over in that area of the island. And, Mr. McGarrett, I DID have a wonderful time this morning doing just that! I DO want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for those magnificent few hours!"
Almost spluttering at this point, "Mrs. Carter, you STOLE my keys and car!... AND how did you GET my keys without my knowing it?"
Danny is still remaining on the sidelines, having more difficulty with each passing minute repressing his laughter. More than one grin and a few small chuckles have already escaped. The glare Steve shot him, which Danny easily noticed and read was completely ignored.
Mrs. Carter noticed Danny reactions, turned to him, and said, "You see, sir, this young man understands, I think. Don't you?"
Smiling amusedly, Danny keeps his answer simple and non-committal, "Umm… Mrs. Carter… I think Steve would really like answers to his questions…."
"Oh yes… well, getting your keys. That was easy!"
A stunned look crosses Steve's face while Danny's laughter is no longer contained.
Mrs. Carter continues, "Howard's hobby was amateur magic. He taught me a fair number of tricks and I got pretty good with my hands. Borrowing your keys from your pocket was no trouble at all. I really had not planned ANY of this, it all just sort of happened when I saw the car, and you and there you were. Believe me, Mr. McGarrett, I have NEVER stolen ANYTHING from ANYONE! I am an honest person!"
Steve was fuming internally to realize that this tiny woman had pulled this over on him without his even realizing it. Mrs. Carter accurately read that thought and matter-of-factly, but without denigration, stated, "Mr. McGarrett, I know you are the head of Hawaii Five-O and a very talented and accomplished police officer, but that does NOT make you immune to a bit of sleight-of-hand,… sir."
More chuckles from Danny, and more glares directed to him, easily disregarded.
"MRS. CARTER, you STOLE my car!"
Baffled, she ponders that statement a moment. "Well, I suppose I can understand how you would see it that way. But, really, all I did was BORROW your car for a few hours to relive a few fond memories I shared with my dearly beloved husband of 55 years. And I am poignantly happy to report that my drive along the coast DID exactly that. I will always cherish this morning.."
Steve's resolve to prosecute this woman is just beginning to dwindle… And Danny, loving every minute and becoming more endeared with Mrs. Carter with each volley in the conversation, senses Steve's wavering…
"Steve, you certainly can press charges, they'd stick without question. But you know, the media will get a hold of this story,
'Head of Five-O prosecutes tiny 85 year-old woman for stealing his car from right under his nose from the Iolani Palace. McGarrett's comment was that the woman's motivation – a few minutes of reminiscing about her deceased husband whose birthday was just yesterday who had a car like that- makes no difference. The law is the law and must be upheld, no matter what! Sure, Mr. McGarrett… by the way, did you ever have a grandmother?'
Think about it, Steve, you KNOW that's how they'll play it!"
Grudgingly, without giving away any indication, Steve admitted to himself that Danny was right. And no harm was done. And even conceding that he was happy for Mrs. Carter having a pleasant time that morning. Danny, of course, knew exactly what he was thinking.
In an attempt to portray a harsh authoritative voice, but coming out a bit husky, Steve challenges, "Mrs. Carter, IF I choose NOT to press charges against you, for the THEFT of my vehicle, will you PROMISE never to do anything like this again?"
Condescendingly Mrs. Carter replies, "Mr. McGarrett, I am not a thief, and I do not steal things. However, to make you happy, I will not ever again 'borrow' your car or anyone else's without permission."
Just as Steve is about to allow a smirky smile of triumph emerge, Mrs. Carter quips, "BUT I'M NOT AT ALL SORRY I DID IT! And, my dear Mr. McGarrett,…. May I call you Steve? Steve, dear, it has been a long morning for me, could you please drive me home? It would mean so much to me to ride again in that memorable car, and especially with YOU taking me. As I said, you DO remind me of a young Howard!"
As Steve's mouth was hanging open, Danny's laughter erupted again, "GO, Steve, we can handle things around here without you for a bit!"
Pau
