The Wind Beneath My Wings

"Mr Hudson?"

"Yes."

"There's been a very serious accident. We ask you to remain where you are and await a visit from one of our staff." There is a click and a dial tone. Finn sits staring at the silent phone. What on earth has happened? Who has been in a very serious accident? The phone rings again and he accepts the call immediately, hoping fervently it is information.

"Finn, it's Santana," a voice sobs on the other end. "You need to know." Her sobs are so loud he only catches words like 'accident', 'didn't mean to', 'black ice' and 'so sorry'.

"Santana, is anyone with you I can talk to?" he asks, keeping his voice determinedly level as a terrible feeling fills the pit of his stomach. There is a murmuring at the other end of the phone and another voice comes on the line.

"Finn, it's Mike." Finn feels a great relief hearing how calm his friend sounded. Whatever has happened, surely it can't be that bad if Mike can sound so calm about it.

"Mike, what the hell happened?" he asks. "Santana was crying too much for her to tell me."

"It's Rachel," Mike says, his calm voice beginning to wobble. "There was an accident. Santana's car slid on a patch of black ice. She hit the car full on. There was nothing anyone could do. She's dead."

"Who's dead?" Finn asks. Though he knows in his heart who it is, he has to know for sure, know that he isn't just being silly.

"Rachel," Mike says, his voice breaking. "Finn, God, I'm sorry for crying when you must be going through something so much worse. I'm so sorry." There is a click and Finn's connection to his friend is lost. Rachel is dead? It can't be. No one with so much vitality, so much life, so much raw energy in her soul, no one like that can be dead. Rachel was supposed to blaze on forever, using that beautiful voice to cheer and lift people's spirits.


"Tina, are you absolutely sure it's Rachel?" Mercedes asks, searching for a way to make this horrible situation untrue.

"I'm absolutely sure," Tina says in a quavering voice. "I saw it. I'm sorry, I have to go." The call is ended, but Mercedes keeps the phone held to her ear, frozen in shock. Not Rachel. Anyone but Rachel. Rachel was like her sister, her best friend, her confidante, her singing partner. She can't just be gone. A life that lively can't just be snuffed out like a flickering flame. Rachel was an incredible person, it's not fair that she's gone and yet bastards like Karofsky are alive and well today.

"Oh, God, please, make this horrible thing untrue," she prays, rocking back and forth. "Please." The doorbell rings. For a wonderful moment she believes it to be Rachel, that this whole 'she's dead' thing is just an elaborate practical joke. The hope is shattered when she opens the door to find Kurt and Blaine on the doorstep.

"We just heard," Blaine says, stepping inside. "Kurt insisted I drove him over."

"Oh, Cedes, I'm so sorry," Kurt says. "I loved her too." He hugs her and she buries her head in his shoulder and just lets herself cry. She cries for Rachel and the loss of such a valuable life.


"Santana, it's alright, we know it wasn't your fault, we know you didn't mean it," Brittany reassures her desperately sobbing friend while Mike and Artie phone everybody to let them know.

"But it was my fault!" Santana chokes out between sobs. "I was driving too fast and I wasn't watching out for black ice." She mops futilely at her face with a tissue. "I just can't stop remembering all the times I made fun of her and called her names and now I can never look her in the eye and tell her how sorry I am!"

"Please stop crying, San, it was an accident," Artie says as he dials Sam's number.

"I'm a murderer!" Santana shrieks. "I might as well go down to the police station and turn myself in."

"Should I tell Mr Schue?" Mike asks, wiping away tears as he cuts off a phone call with Puck.

"Yes," Artie answers shortly. "He loved Rachel as much as any of us." Mike nods and dials their old teacher's number.

"Britt, just hold me," Santana begs. Brittany obeys and holds tightly to her friend, rocking her back and forth as both of them cry.


"Will, it's Mike for you," Emma shouts, holding out the phone as her husband skids down the hall and takes it from her, smiling and kissing her forehead.

"What would I do without you?" he asked. "Hey, Mike, how are you?"

"Mr Schue, there's something awful I have to tell you," Mike says. Will immediately feels the bottom drop out of his stomach.

"What's happened?" he asks, praying that it's nothing too terrible.

"Rachel is dead," Mike says, obviously wanting to get this over and done with before he starts crying. "Santana skidded on black ice and crashed her car into Rachel's. She was pronounced dead at the scene." Mike hangs up and Will remains staring into the mirror they have over the hall table, seeing his own shocked face reflected back at him.

"Will, what did Mike want?" Emma asks, returning to the hall. "Will?" She lays a hand on her husband's shoulder and looks at him. He turns slowly to look at her.

"Rachel is dead," he says. "She was killed in a car crash."

"What?" Emma asks. "It can't be." No matter how precocious, spoilt and annoying she was, they've both grown fond of Rachel over the years, the same way they've grown fond of Sue. To have lost her is a blow to them all.

"It's alright to cry, Will," Emma says, seeing that he is attempting to hold back tears. He breaks down then, leaning heavily on her. The shoulder of her pretty new blouse is soaked through in a matter of seconds, but she doesn't care. Her own tears flow thick and fast and they won't be stopping soon. Rachel is gone and it's like she's taken the very essence of glee club with her. It's perfectly alright to cry.


Puck is alone in the flat he shares with Quinn and their son Jacob when he receives the news.

"What the hell?" is the first thing he says. "Mike, if this is a joke, it's seriously not funny!"

"Why would you even think I'd joke about something like this?" Mike asks. "Rachel's dead, Puck, we've seen the evidence."

"No, please say you're joking!" Puck begs. He can't believe that he's saying these words, that he sounds this way, but they seem to have a life of their own as the twist their way up his throat and through his lips. "Rachel can't be dead!"

"Puck, I'm so sorry," Mike says, and Puck can hear the tears in his voice. "I have to go." Puck drops the phone and buries his face in his hands.

"Puck, my God, what happened?" Quinn asked, rushing to his head. Her husband lifts a tear-strewn face and gazes at her with tortured eyes.

"Rachel's dead," he whispers. "She's dead." Quinn's jaw drops open and her eyes prickle with tears.

"I don't believe it," she whispers. The tears course down her cheeks and they are hot, though she knows that Rachel won't be hot or warm or even mildly cool. She will be cold and still, because she's dead and it seems like so many hearts have been shattered by the news.


"That's everyone," Mike says, turning off his phone. "I've told everyone and I still can't believe it."

"None of us can," Artie says. "Rachel was amazing. We've all said bad things about her in the past, but now somehow we never realise what we had until it's gone."

"You could use that line in a funeral speech," Brittany says, opening another box of tissues and handing one to Santana, who hasn't stopped crying since they picked her up, white and shaking, from the hospital.

"Who's going to organise the funeral?" Artie asks.

"We will, because we know what she would have wanted," Mike says. He's cried on every phone call and had to hang up, yet somehow when he can let the tears just flow none are coming. Santana is being rocked in Brittany's arms. Both of them are crying. Artie is covertly wiping his eyes. They're all crying. Why can't he?

"Oh my God, Mike, I can't believe she's gone," Tina sobs, rushing into the room and straight to her husband's arms.

"It's fine to cry, baby," he says, holding her tight and stroking her hair soothingly. When he feels the bulge of their baby pressing against him he remembers another tragic thing about Rachel's death. She was pregnant. The child she was expecting with Finn, the man she loved and wanted to bear children for, that child would never see the light of day. As a father-to-be, this is the trigger that brings back the tears. They all cry, and the home that belongs to Artie and Brittany Abrams is largely a tear-strewn one that night.


"Mummy, Uncle Sam, Uncle Matt and Auntie Lauren are here to see you," Jacob says, toddling into the room where his mother and father are clinging to each other, both crying. "Why are you crying?"

Before Quinn can reply, Lauren bursts into the room. Her eyes are filled with tears and they spill over when she sees the looks on both Quinn's and Puck's faces.

"So it's true?" she asks. "Rachel is gone?" Quinn nods wordlessly, unable to stop more tears falling. Lauren collapses into a chair as Sam and Matt walk in.

"Do you know where Santana is?" Matt asks. "She called me but she was crying and didn't tell me where she was."

"I think she's at the Abrams' house," Sam replies. "I could hear her crying in the background when Artie called me."

"I'll go there then," Matt says, back-pedalling. "She needs me." He's gone in a second and Sam is sitting by his wife.

"Rachel annoyed me, but now I realise how much I loved her," he says. "And it's too late to tell her how I feel." He starts to cry. The two couples cry together. They cry for the loss of a life, the life of a woman they all loved.


The funeral is two weeks later. Clothed in sombre shades of grey and black, her family and her closest friend - who were like family to her, really - file silently into the pews, armed with boxes of tissues. Rachel's mother, Shelby, holding the hand of a seven year-old girl who must be Beth, takes the podium first.

"I just can't believe my daughter is gone," she says, and there's already a tremor in her voice. "I could stand up here and talk about how, even though I gave her up, I never stopped loving her, but I think I'm just going to let her speak for herself." A screen lower from the ceiling and a familiar face appears on it as the room darkens.

"Rachel?" Finn whispers, and his fingers stretch out to touch her face before he realises that it's only a picture, that she's really dead. A single tear squeezes its way out of his eye.

"Hello, everyone," Rachel says brightly. "Welcome to my funeral. First, I want to thank you all for coming. It means a lot that you are all coming together to mourn the loss of a life. My life." People are already crying, blowing their noses. Finn stares in shock as the Rachel Berry-Hudson on the film turns to look directly at him.

"Finn, of course I know exactly where you're sitting," she says, smiling. "I've had a seating plan for my funeral since I was eighteen. I want you to know exactly how much I love you. Words can't describe what you mean to me and how difficult it is to leave you. I know that our child is gone too. Please, take care of yourself. You can't destroy yourself because of me. Live your life, be happy and prosper. Do this for me, Finn." Finn nods, barely conscious of the tears that run down his cheeks.

"I love you, Rachel," he says.

"I love you, too," she replies, and turns to Mercedes. "Mercedes, I know that you're crying your eyes out right now." Mercedes manages a small smile, mopping at her eyes with a tissue too wet to do any good.

"No shit Sherlock," she says, attempting to inject a little humour into her voice.

"Mercedes, you will be missed so much," Rachel says softly. Although the whole room can hear everything she says, it obvious that each word is meant for just one person, the person she is addressing. "You were my sister from another mister. I loved you like the twin sister I never had. You were always there for me, the rock that supported me and the light that guided me. I couldn't live with you because we would have killed each other, but I couldn't live without you either." Mercedes smiles through her tears, remembering when they duetted on Take Me Or Leave Me.

"Rachel, why do have to leave us?" she asks.

"When the higher being that exists above us decides it is our time to go, we leave," Rachel says. "But we never stop loving those we left behind. I love you, Cedes."

"Love you back, Rach," Mercedes says, blowing a kiss to Rachel as she turns to face Puck, Quinn and Jacob.

"Noah, Quinn, Jacob, I miss you all," she says. "Jacob, you take care of your parents for me, you hear?"

"Yes, Auntie Rachel," Jacob says, saluting.

"Noah, I used think I was madly in love with you, but I wasn't," Rachel says. "You helped me realise the extent of my feelings for Finn. Quinn, we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, but I did my best to be there for you throughout the years. I miss and love you both."

"We love you, Rachel," Quinn says. It is the last thing she says before she collapsed in tears. Rachel works her way around the rest of the guests with accounts of their life together and their feelings for each other before focusing her gaze on Kurt.

"Kurt, I remember I once told you the song I would like to have play at my funeral," she says softly. "It would be a great honour if you would sing it with me now." The scene shifts to one of Rachel seated in front of a piano, smiling down at Kurt.

"Of course I will," Kurt says, getting up and walking to the podium.

"I knew you'd say yes," Rachel says. She begins playing and Kurt begins to sing.

It won't be easy

You'll think it strange

When I try to explain how I feel

That I still need your love after all that I've done.

Rachel takes over.

You won't believe me

All you will see

Is a girl you once knew

Although she's dressed up to the nines

At sixes and sevens with you.

Kurt begins to sing again, wiping tears from his eyes.

I had to let it happen

I had to change

Couldn't stay all my life down at heel

Looking out of the window

Staying out of the sun.

Rachel's voice fills the hall.

So I chose freedom

Running around trying everything new

But nothing impressed me at all

I never expected it too.

Their voices rise above everything, soaring to the rooftops.

Don't cry for me Argentina

The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days

My mad existence

I kept my promise

Don't keep your distance.

There isn't a dry eye in the room by the time the song ends. Kurt smiles at the Rachel on film and returns to his seat, accepting a tissue from Brittany to mop up his tears.

"As I still have space on this DVD, I'm going to show you all my favourite song we ever performed," Rachel says. Expecting one of her solos, everyone is surprised when a clip of them singing Keep Holdin' On comes onto the screen. Tears flow freely from the eyes of all the guests as the song fills their minds and hearts. When it ends, the screen simply fades to black

"Fellow glee-clubbers, I would like to honour Rachel in song," Tina says, standing up. "Brad, if you would?" Brad nods and sits down by the polished piano on the stage. Tina closes her eyes and begins to sing.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

It must've been cold there in my shadow

To never have sunlight on your face

You were content to let me shine, that's your way

Quinn and Puck, the first to realise what the song is, take over from Tina with their harmonising voices.

You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory

While you were the one with all the strain

A beautiful face without a name for so long

Everyone is surprised when Blaine, who despite attending a different school loves Rachel as much as any of them, takes the wheel of the ship guiding the song.

A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

And everything I would like to be

I can fly higher than an eagle

The most heartfelt line of the song is sung by all of the guests.

You are the wind beneath my wings

Mercedes ascends to the podium and, with her arm around Tina, starts to sing.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed

But I've got it all here in my heart

I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it

I would be nothing without you

Santana, Matt and Mike join them, tears flowing freely down their faces.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be

I could fly higher than an eagle

For you are the wind beneath my wings

Brittany, Artie, Lauren and Sam, all in tears, join in

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

You're everything, everything, I wish I could be

Oh, and I, I can fly higher than an eagle

For you are the wing beneath my wings

'Cause you are the wing beneath my wings

Finn takes over, singing for his wife.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings

You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings

Fly, fly, fly away

You let me fly so high

Oh, you, you, you, the wing beneath my wings

The whole room join in, singing for Rachel, their lost angel.

Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky

So high I almost touch the sky

Thank you, thank you, thank God for you

The wind beneath my wings

As the music fades, it seems perfectly natural for them all to say, in perfect unison as if it had been rehearsed, "We never realise how good we have it until it's gone. We miss you, Rachel."

"You will never stop being the wind beneath our wings," Finn says.

"We loved you, though we weren't always friends to you," Mercedes continues.

"We all wish we could have seen you one last time and said goodbye," Sam says, wiping his eyes.

"You really were my hero, Rachel," Brittany says, and hers are the most heartfelt words of all. "You weren't afraid of anything and you stuck up for your friends."

"Rachel, without you, we are broken," Quinn says. "Glee club misses you." People begin approaching the coffin with flowers, but the Glee club remain clustered together, leaning on each other, tears flowing freely. Rachel is lost to them now. Swept away by the ravages of time.


Did you like it? I cried the whole time writing this. It's such a beautiful song and picturing Rachel's friends singing it for her at her funeral was a tear-jerking image. Thanks for reading.