Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I do, however, own my friend's left foot and an impressive collection of hats! ^_^

Author's Note: Enjoy the crack fic!

The Parodoligal Adventures of Harry Potter

"I miss Hogwarts ever so much..."

Harry sighed as he sat in the broom closet of 4 Privet Drive, attempting to cut himself with his emo spoon. Ever since the holidays started, Harry had become ever so emo and angsty and frankly, he didn't understand why the emo spoon didn't break the skin. He assumed it had something to do with being the Chosen One. Suddenly, there was a random, blinding flash of light and Harry randomly appeared on the Hogwarts Express with his magical posse.

"Bloody hell, what just happened?"

Exclaimed Ron, but no one cared what he said, as he was just Harry's pet ginger.

"What just happened?"

Asked Harry, and because he was so emo and angsty, someone just had to answer him! An amazingly perfect girl walked through the door of the carriage, as it swung open in an overly dramatic fashion, and made an incredibly heroic pose.

"It was I, Mary Sueington! I am a transfer student from Doesntexistowits Academy of Magic, and I used my powers much greater than any wizard who ever lived to make the entire universe skip through time!"

Everyone sat in shocked silence until Ron stupidly spoke up again.

"Isn't that impossible?"

Harry glowered at Ron and slapped him upside the head and started yelling at the boy who resembled a carrot.

"Nobody asked you, did they? You're just my useless pet ginger sidekick, and nobody gives a rat's ass about what you think! Now go sit in your carrier and think about why your life is so meaningless and depressing!

And with that, Harry shoved Ron into a tiny cat carrier and tossed it under the seat. Mary gasped and leapt into Harry's arms.

"Oh, Harry, you are so angsty! I love you, and by the laws of OC, that immediately means we are going to end up together."

Due to Mary's amazingly perfectness, Harry fell in love and started making out with Mary while Ron sobbed inside the cat carrier and Hermione worked hopelessly to get the birds out of her hair (the little things kept thinking it was a nest, how cute!). As usual, Draco sauntered in with his cronies, Tweedledum and Tweedledummer.

To be continued.. When I have an idea