*English is not my first language, so I apologize if the sentences are not grammatically correct. This is my first fan fiction story. I hope you'll like it ^^
The Weight of the World
Venom snake was sitting at the edge of landing zone of Mother Base. His gaze was directed at the always beautiful sunset he came to admire for some time. His thoughts were drifting towards Quiet and he was reminding himself of their time spent since all of this happened. In some way, he came to think of her as more than a regular comrade but it was hard for him to define what he was feeling as it was to define what he has become. The sorrow he felt, the words he thought were left unspoken were gushing? At him. He didn't see a way out. ''What was he to do? As himself? As the legendary soldier, Big Boss?''- He didn't know and didn't feel that he was coming close to the answer he was looking for. The only thing that was keeping him together were orders by which he was obliged to live by. They made life easier in some way. He didn't have to search for some mystical life meaning which purpose would be to answer all of life questions that kept him awake at night. He just had to act according to the situation he was dealt and live on. For some time now, when he would catch himself in doubtful thoughts, he would say to himself ''Just the act of living should be enough.'' After all that is what brought him to Quiet, Ocelot and Kaz. The simple act of living on has brought on him a specter of emotion and conflict. It made him accept challenges he wasn't ready to accept. But what was he to do? If he just stood still, he might as be dead. So, he pushed through in spite of the void he found himself living in. Looking back, he wouldn't have done differently.
As he was drifting deeper and deeper inside the whirlwind of his thoughts, he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps that were approaching him. ''Tough day?'' – Ocelot uttered as he sat beside him. -Want some advice? - he continued.
- ''What do you suggest?" - Venom Snake asked as he turned himself towards Ocelot.
- "Don't dwell too much on Quiet. She was a fine soldier. One of the best but not as good as the Legend she fought for. You have this whole operation lying on your shoulders. Wasting time is not an option, it is time that you return on the field. I've been hearing rumors from the staff. They are all concerned with your state and are doubting their purpose here. Diamond dogs need you. Overthinking what happened will get you nowhere so you might as well stick a knife in your gut and twist it if you continue torturing yourself at this pace." Ocelot stated and looked him in the eyes. Venom didn't show any visible reaction at his words but inside he has felt for some time as though he already had a knife piercing through his flesh and now Ocelot just pushed it even further. ''Torture''- he thought to himself. –'' It's truly Ocelots specialty''-
-You came here to lecture me?- Venom asked in a calm deep voice. Ocelot stood up and looked at the sun and then back again at Venom Snake. –'' I came here to remind you of your purpose. I have to go. I took a wrong turn for you and left Miller waiting. I suggest you get sleep tonight. Tomorrow I might have something for you that will get you back out there.'' Finishing his sentence, he started to walk away. The sun was slowly disappearing and Venom Snake felt as if the weight of the world was hanging over him. He felt like the Titan Atlas. He was destined to carry such a heavy weight but in reality, he was just a man. Flesh and bone with a dash of soul or what was left of it anyway. Without the sun, the horizon wasn't as beautiful and so without a soul he was just as empty as the dummies one would use as decoys. A hollow body performing day to day activities. There wasn't much pride in it. But with Quiet, Ocelot and Kaz he thought that he had a chance at experiencing something more. Something he could carry with him and build on it. Personal feelings for comrades were considered dangerous but that's the only thing that kept him going. With a grin on his face and the sunlight vanishing he let his head fall and looked down on the soldiers of Mother Base. They were looking for guidance to him and he wasn't just yet ready to give up. With a new hope emerging, he looked at the sky as he felt rain drops on skin. He closed his eyes and remembered when he was with Quiet in the rain. –''Counting on it''- His smile widened as he silently replied to the already gone Ocelot
