Blurred

I can't see you.

by Aimless Logic

"Inoue?"

The girl just in front of him froze on her feet, but she didn't turn back.

It's like a dream, Ichigo thought as he took his palm hand to rub his eyes. But dreams never become true, don't they?

He blinked.

She was still there, just to four or five steps away from him.

"Inoue" he said this time, not like a question but like an assertion.

She was there.

He was there.

What now?

"I'm—" Ichigo started to say but something stopped him. The known feeling of doubt invaded him, making all his courage suddenly disappear. I'm so stubborn. What suppose I have to say now? Hello I'm the jerk that you despised so much and with right?

Perhaps he just had to spill out the apology he had been holding for five years. If he was able to do just this little thing, maybe all the weight over his shoulders would disappear at last. So everything converged to a pure and simple apology.

But for some reason, his reasoning wasn't making much sense to him.

What am I missing?

And was at this exactly moment, when he was beginning to feel a suddenly empty inside that she turned back to him.

I've been missing you all this years.

"He-hello" Ichigo stuttered with a trembling voice.

Then, he hold his breath, unwittingly.

"You did it again!" Orihime exclaimed as she smiling.

Ichigo arched an eyebrow when he stared at her.

"What exactly?"

"You stuttered" she responded, still all big smiles and bright eyes. "I-I lov-love you" she mimicked him with a deep voice, then, she smiled again. "You were really nervous, weren't you?" Ichigo felt a real desire to cover her mouth.

"You're mocking me, Inoue" he said.

She gasped in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean, I mean—" she bit her low lip, looking away as she seemed to be really uncomfortable and… guilty.

Now, Ichigo was who smiled.

"So... you didn't want to mock me?"

She shook her head furiously, with her sweet face all contrite.

"And what was that then?" he asked, patting the crown of her head.

She hold her breath, Ichigo noticed, while she was raising her stare to see him again, but this time her expression was kind of solemn.

How can you change so fast? He thought, moved.

"I was happy" she said, taking his hand over her head. "I was really, really happy that I didn't know what to do." Orihime led both hands intertwined to her chest. "Can you feel my heart beating? It's being all quick and I almost thought my heart would get out of my chest but—" She closed her eyes and smiled. "It's still inside my chest, and I'm happy and it's okay. Everything is okay now."

And Ichigo believed her.

And hold her.

And kissed her, as it was a supreme urgency to confirm what she was saying was real.

That they were real.

But now we are nothing, aren't we, Inoue? Ichigo thought sadly as their gazes met.

She opened her eyes in surprised.

"Kurosaki-kun!" she exclaimed with a smile. "You've changed a lot!"

So do you.

Orihime cut the distance between them and embraced him spontaneously. For an instant, Ichigo couldn't think about anything that wasn't she, her smell, her soft, and her arms holding him so thigh, so… real.

The last thought made him aware how the things were right now.

That is to say, they were nothing, therefore, her smile, surprise, embrace was merely pointless.

Suddenly, she took a step back, breaking their contact.

I feel weirdly empty.

"What are you doing here? The last time I spoke with Tatsuki, she said you were in England" Orihime said with her usual gentle voice.

"Yeah, but I had to come back"

"Because of work?"

"Yes."

"What a shame, England is beautiful!"

Ichigo blinked.

"Have you been there?" he asked, a little surprised.

She smiled.

"The last year, like for three weeks, if I remember…" She squinted as if she was hardly remembering. "No, it was a month, but whatever" Orihime laughed.

Orihime's laughter always had been passed and Ichigo himself always ended caught on it. But now, it was different. He didn't want to laugh. Even to try to smile.

He just wanted to scream at her because—.

Because.

He heard her coughing.

"Well, I have to go."

So polite, as always.

"I don't think so" he said, serious.

"What?"

Today, I was thinking about impossible dreams, and how I want to see you again.

"I need to talk with you."

"Why?" She asked with a serious expression on her face.

Why? Ichigo had to rub his eyes like if this act helps him to clear her mind.

"Kurosaki-Kun?" she had asked that time, with her trembling voice in disbelief. "What did you do?"

"I was bored" he replied, without look at her.

"You don't have to be cruel."

"Am I being cruel?" he shouted, rising up from the undone bed. "You were fucking all this time with that old man, and you have the nerve to say that I'm being cruel?"

Orihime gasped, as if he had slaped her.

"You are being cruel indeed" She barely could say. "You didn't want to hear me, didn't you? I told you we had to talk."

Ichigo laughed, sarcastic.

"You're such a bitch." He muttered.

And this time, her beautiful brown eyes were full of holding tears.

He could feel that horrible pain grabbing her chest, and the absurd need to hear her to say that everything was a lie, a bad joke.

But it wasn't.

"Ichigo?"

Orihime and Ichigo looked at the naked woman on Ichigo's bed, waking up.

"I think is impossible, isn't it?" she sobbed, still holding her tears.

Ichigo didn't replied to her and, suddenly, there was nothing else than him in an empty and cold room.

"Because I want to know if you are happy" Ichigo said now, quietly.

The time seemed stopped. There wasn't a street; there weren't a lot of people coming and going. There were just both of them, gazing each other's. She, in her lovely pink coat and him, with a blame on his shoulders too heavy that almost didn't let him live.

"And you, are you happy?" she whispered, her face unusually expressionless.

He passed his hand-fingers between his hair, messing it. Then, like if he had found the wanted answer, he sadly smiled.

"No" he said. "Not at all."

To be continued


A/N:

This will be a little story of 2 chapters and an epilogue, I guess. Sorry about the bad english and rough descriptions (I'm looking for a beta right now, that would be great ).

And probably you found the narration a little confusing, that's basically because there're kind of flash backs :3

A short story, but I'll try to do it touching enough to make it worth, even when the plot could seems pretty generic (I hope so xD).

Saluts!