High School AU
The Hobbit
Fili x Kili
It was my secret shame all throughout high school, well, more or less. I knew Mr. Greenleaf, the chemistry teacher, had figured it out. He loved the idea that one of Thorin Oakenshield's nephews was an incestuous little fag too much. He probably got off on the fact that nobody but him knew about the family's fatal flaw. He was a prick and I was a disgusting piece of filth. What was I thinking? I wasn't obviously because I had fallen in love with my big brother and let the worst person ever find out. I don't even know how Thranduil figured it out, maybe I had been caught staring too many times or maybe he just had to catch me once with that lovey-dovey look on my face to know.
Of course he black mailed me into being his personal slave; the torture of school wasn't learning anymore, there wasn't anytime for that in between all of the "Kili, go get me a cappuccino from the cafeteria" and "Kili, be a good boy and run these papers to the main office." My grades were suffering, I couldn't even recall the last time I saw any of my friends. I was sure someone would notice soon and I would have to blurt out lies and excuses about what was going on. No one else could know the truth, one asshole was one too many. I couldn't tell Uncle, I couldn't tell mum, and I absolutely would not tell Fili. I could see that conversation going greatly.
"Brother, I need your help, the chem teacher is black mailing me into doing his foot work"
"Oh, whatever is he black mailing you with that has your panties in a twist?"
"My not sibling like love for you"
So there I was walking home after school alone because Mr. Greenleaf kept me late to shine his shoes, literally, I had to kneel before him and rub his shoes clean of the dog shit I'm positive he stepped in on purpose. I wasn't expecting a black truck to come driving up beside me; that my brothers voice would come from inside telling me to get my ass in the car. It was dim out; the sun had only just set beneath the grey winter sky; the occasional car passed us by as we sat in silence.
Fili made no move to start driving off any time soon so I just sat quietly in the passenger seat beside him. He was just staring out the window like he had nothing better do to. His hair was only made up of one loose braid hanging over his shoulder. Even without obvious sunlight its golden streaks glimmered like one of Uncle's well polished collectable coins. I couldn't see his eyes, which bothered me. His beautiful eyes were darker than the sky but lighter than the ocean, I could get lost in them; they were wise beyond their years, but still shimmered with his youth. I kept shifting to get a glance at them but I couldn't no matter how much I leaned one way or another.
"Kili" His voice sent a chill through out my body "Whats wrong with you?"
"W-what?" The word was forced out in my panic. Did he know? Oh no, this couldn't be happening. He did look at me finally, his eyes were as stunning as I had described but they were angry. Yes, mixing in the depths of those orbs was rage, concern, and love. The kind of love reserved for brothers, not a lover, just a brother. I decided to play it cool and began twirling one of my dark strands of hair around my fingers, looking detached from the situation.
"I mean, I figure there is a great many things wrong with me, but why don't you tell me the one your thinking of? Or not you know; just let the conversation drop and we can talk about your day"
"No Kili, that's not what I meant and I'm not letting it go. Your worrying us, me, mum, Uncle; your scaring us."
"What have I done?!" I ask, my voice a border line between a yell and a whine, I was getting defensive, "I'm fine Fili I swear!"
"That's a lie!" He was trying to stab me with his glare, to make me guilty, it was working. I could feel my resolve breaking, my soul was being shredded to bits, my heart was pounding I could feel it from my ears to my toes. I wanted to tell him everything, but I sure as hell didn't want to lose my only brother, I didn't want to lose the small bit of sunshine that has been mine to cling to since before I was born.
"I pretty sure you know your grades look shitter than ever, you haven't been talking to anyone, not even Tauriel" I winced, Tauriel was a real doll. She at least knew I was gay, she was okay with me saying I liked her to my family and junk; mostly because she wanted to get Legolas jealous. It was a good "relationship." She always chided me to come out to my family, but I couldn't. If I came out the next obvious question from them would be "who do you like?" which I can't answer. Fili was still raging beside me; he wasn't even glaring at me anymore, he was stared at the ceiling, probably asking a deity why he got such a shitty little brother.
"Further more, you've not been yourself. We sat here for ten minutes and you didn't do anything. You just stared at me and jerked around a bit. The Kili I know would've gotten impatient after I a few seconds he definitely would've bugged me about letting him drive. Just tell me what's wrong!" His face, my brother's handsome face, looked pained. I had no doubt that if I went home I would get the same face from Thorin and mum. I can't do this to them anymore, even if I have to ruin myself my family deserves to be free of my problems, especially Fili.
"I'm being black mailed." There done, I figured the more vague I was it would be easier, I was once again horribly mistaken. Fili got more riled up, the anger wasn't directed at me anymore, it was a murderous rage directed at the wheel of the truck. His teeth grinded against each other trying to contain himself.
"Who." He growled, his knuckles were pure white against the black wheel he gripped. "Tell me what asshole has a death wish so I can grant it."
"It's Mr. Greenleaf" I stuttered. Fili relaxed back into his seat but his shoulders remained tense. He turned to me slowly looking up with sad eyes, the rage seemed to have left him for the moment. I felt disappointed at his lack of threats for our much hated teacher.
"Kili, what the fuck does Thranduil have on you? Did he threaten you or Uncle? Me?"
"No."
"Then what Kili?"
"I can't tell you" I looked away and out my window at the surrounding lush foliage next to the road. This was so cliché, there would have to be a million romance movies with this exact scene, except this wasn't a romance, or a movie; it would end badly. I could already tell by Fili's intense stare penetrating the back of my head that I would eventually have to tell him. However one thing seemed to go my way that night, he started the truck and we began our drive home. Before I could escape the confines of the car to the safety of my room he caught me by the wrist. Once again I had to see the brother love written on his face; I turned away, ashamed and disappointed.
"We'll deal with Greenleaf tomorrow." He paused,"You don't have to tell me, Kili, but you need to know that I'm here when you need me" It wasn't an 'if' you need me, it was a definite you 'will' need me. I tugged my arm out of his gentle grasp and hopped out of the truck, bolting off to my sanctuary, grumbling out an okay before I was out of ear shot. Just like I have for the past few years now I went to sleep full of self-loathing and self-pity. I knew I couldn't keep up this act much longer, and that when I let my guard down I would lose everything, my family and my brother. I would lose my beautiful sunshine, my ray of happiness. I woke up with tears in my eyes the following morning.
