They say the moon is lonely, always trying to catch up to the sun to bask in it's warmth, and that it is nothing but kind and pure…but in truth, I find it reminds me of you.

So in my case, I can not help but wonder if in fact the moon is cruel as it is hauntingly beautiful, just like you. Perhaps that is why the sun continually scorns it, for it knows of the malice that hides beyond that addictive allure.

Midnight brings with it a chilling silence, one that leaves the thoughts in my head unspoken, dead and I am forced to remember screams I try so hard to run from. Under the flooded moonlight, my skin is seared by your touch, those pale ivory rays that bring an ethereally glow to my alabaster form.

Why will you not leave me alone? My heart ached enough in your absence, but now, that poison of yours is infecting my mind, much worse than when your life was mine to end.

My debt to you is finished, collected, completed, and yet I am naught but empty. Is it foolish to look at my life's purpose like that, as naught but mission? When considering the pressure you put upon me, the hate you filled me with as your last request, I realized something. You see, I use to think you were a sadist, but it is now apparent that your foolish Himeko was wrong again…as usual.

You are truly just a masochist.

Such cruelty you inflicted upon yourself. You murdered them all, and left the one that you loved the most…the one that loved you the most in that bloody wake of yours, with the ability to ruin you. Why did you want that from me, that pain I could cause you?

Why did you twist my — our love into something so hideous?

I do not understand why I am always wrong when it comes to you. I had hoped there would be some immense relief when I satisfied our desire with my blade's kiss to your heart. You were always the cruel one, but not that time. I traded my lusts for pain and threw the desire to be yours to the wind.

And now I only wish for it back.

To be caressed by you, much like how your moonlight blush bathes me in the purest white. Why does it lie to itself? Why do you lie to yourself? I am not pure, not since you left me to be devoured by the ruins of my past. A shiver runs over my flesh, alerting me to the fact that you are once again consuming me, ebbing away at my sanity…at least, what is left of it.

If I were asked about the truths of the moon, I think I would smile, and lie.

I would say that the moon was beautiful, and kind to light up the night. Selfishly, I would keep the truth to myself and allow the dream of the Moon's serenity to continue. It would be our secret…my last connection to you.

Why... Himeko...?

Why can I still hear your voice? In a bed of scarlet you stole my victory with your confession, your love and I strives with all my heart to shut you out. I tried so hard to reject those tears, but once again, you had sealed my fate with the warmth of your lips.

Oh how I hate you my love.

What did you see when you lay there, broken, your brutally torn apart limbs scattered all around the place, so beautifully stained in violent red, what did you see in me? Gazing into my eyes, so like your own, did you know I was yours forever?

I am sorry I left you to face death alone; if truth be told, I yearned for you to claim my life in the end, like you did my soul. I suppose, all things considered, I never stopped being your foolish Himeko, eternally striving to even the score, to consume you, like you did with me and to be by your side…

Forever

Within my room, I am free from your touch, your moonlight. Instead, shadows crawl across these walls of whitewash and ice, consuming all light within their path. They say that "Light will always prevail," but they were wrong. With you gone, these shadows ravage my mind and my soul, leaving naught but my scarred body, this shell to move in remembrance, following the endless routine as I yearn for you.

Please Chikane-sama, take me with you…end my suffering.