Dedicated to Finnick, who's the best guy ever. R.I.P.
they say
My mother tells me stories of a man called Finnick the Great. She says he was strong, brave, and kind. I guess I believe her, because she talks about how he freed our country from the Hunger Games. But he's just a character in a story, right?
Now I'm not so sure. In school, we learn about the Rebellion, and the teachers mention a Soldier Odair. That's my name. They say he died in the war. That he helped to win it. That he sacrificed himself for the cause.
They say he was my father.
I've heard him mentioned before, but I never knew how he died. I never knew why I was half an orphan, or why my mother refuses to go to the Capitol. She won't even let me go on the school trip.
I'm confused. I know Finnick the Great, the warrior who was unstoppable – until he died. I also know Soldier Odair, the father I never knew.
Am I like him? Everyone says so. They say I have his eyes. They say I'm insolent like he was. Apparently, I'm as good-looking.
My mother hasn't showed me any pictures; she says she hasn't got one. She says the only one she knows of is in District 12, in a book. I've asked if I could go there. She says someday, maybe.
But I want to go now.
I don't want to spend my life wondering who my father was. I might look like him, I might act like him, but I'm not him. Maybe, if I could watch a video – I've heard the Capitol has thousands of 'em – I'd understand.
Then I have to wonder, do I want to understand? They say he was a Victor. That means he killed kids, kids my age. I can't really picture it. With a net and a trident, they say. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
Except they weren't fish, they were people. And they weren't swimming around; they were fighting for their lives, just like him. He killed them.
I know if he hadn't, I wouldn't be here. People say I should be thankful that he was so skilled. Otherwise, I'd probably be reaped, myself. But I won't be, and now that there aren't any Games, it's impossible to really understand what they were like.
It's the same way with understanding Soldier Odair. I'm not sure that I'll ever understand who he was, even if I saw a thousand photographs. Watched a million tapes. Talked to my mother about him – actually him, not Finnick the Great.
Does Finnick the Great even exist? I realize that he's the fairytale embodiment of my father, but how realistic is the portrayal? Yes, he was brave. He must have been, to win the war. Yes, he was strong. He must have been, to win the Games. Was he kind? I hope he was.
They say he was a wonderful man. They say we owe him more than can ever be paid off. They say he is responsible for much that we hold dear. They say he'll be remembered forever. They say he's the most important person that District 4 has to offer. They say he loved my mother more than anything in the world, even more than the sea.
They say, they say, they say… Everyone tells me so much, but I can't help feeling that I'll never hear anything about him. Not really.
