Author's note: My second fic, yay! Since this is first person, we will be switching POV with every chapter. I freaking hate it when it's blatantly announced who's POV it is. Warning: some dark themes such as suicide, self-harm and bullying will appear in this story so reader discretion is advised. And Amy's name "Amelia"? Completely fanmade by me. Just a silly idea of mine to give Amy a "real" name too.

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AS OF SEPTEMBER 9TH 2016

You won't believe the number of times I've corrected others regarding my name. What an odd thing to say, I know but it is really important to me, so don't judge. It's the only proof that I am not a certain someone else. Not that it's my unwanted nickname or anything. Regardless, let's get one thing clear, shall we?

My name is Sammy, not Samey. It feels like a needle passes through my heart whenever someone referrers to me as 'Samey', and it has been such a dominant aspect of my life that my heart probably looks like a pin cushion. It hurts just thinking about it. So much anguish has been brought along with that dreaded name. It eats away of my soul, the identity known as Sammy until I am nothing but an empty husk of hollow blank space called Samey.

It is hard to live a life like this, especially when my entire existence is dictated by someone else. And today is no different. It's afternoon; the sun hangs low in the sky, casting an amber light over the world. It's winter so the small beams of light warm my body as I walk down the street. A blanket of snow covers everything in a layer of white. The winter snow is a perfect tool for torment. Gently, my fingertips graze the bandage on my forehead. The spot where that snowball hit me. Or rather the rock inside of it.

I don't want to go home…not anymore.

I stop before the bridge, letting my heart sink to the pit of my stomach as I try to come up with 10 reasons for why I should be alive. My entire life, I have lived in the shadows, being stepped on like I was a fucking doormat. I'm a shadow of someone else; I'm not me so what's the point? We will all die at one point so what good does it do for me to live in pure misery? What's the point of dragging it out until the day where I sit with the other old folks of society and rot away as the rest of the world forgets me?

I'm already forgotten so why bother? At this point, I am nothing but a burden; a useless waste of space.

I lean against the reeling and look down at the streaming river beneath the bridge. It's not cold enough to freeze the water so it flows by. Behind me, in the distance, traffic is noisy as ever. The sounds of many cars linger in the background. But they drown before my ears as I feel a sudden buzz from my phone.

I know, it's her. The bane of my existence that is calling me. Shivers run down my spine and my hands become sweaty as her sneering voice condescends me in my head. I can't endure another day. The phone keeps buzzing. It vibrates in my pocket with its specific rhythm.

Like Queen's We Will Rock You.

Surely, she will rock me when I answer. She will blow me to kingdom come ruin and me once again. My hearts pounders harder in my chest and my arms go numb. The fear of the horrors awaiting me at home is enough to completely paralyze me. It's really pathetic that my own twin sister can get this reaction out of me. But it's true.

My entire life, I was always number 2. I was always inferior to Amy when compared to her, which everyone in our lives did all the time. But, I thought it was OK. I thought that as long as I did my best and established my own identity, people wouldn't see me as the lesser twin.

It never happened.

The phone keeps buzzing in my pocket and I seriously fight the urge to throw it into the icy water. But somewhere in this cruel yet beautiful world, some poor kid will probably have more use for it than I. As soon as the buzzing stops, I fetch the device out my pockets.

"1 Unanswered call – Amelia" the text flashed over my screen.

Another buzz makes my heart jump to my throat as I see a message had been sent to me by Amy.

"Where are you, Samey?! Get your stupid ass home-" the text scrolls over the screen but doesn't convey the rest of the message. I feel the phone slide out of my grasp and hit the concrete ground. The screen is probably cracked but it does not matter anymore. With a callous expression, I just stare at the device on the ground.

The railing of the bridge is low enough for me to climb over. I slowly place my foot on the small space extending from the bridge, which is incredibly slippery. I have to stand on my toes in order to keep my balance. My grip on the railing tightens as I manage to move my leg on the other side. With smooth movements, I stand just above the icy water.

At least, some good came out of me being a cheerleader.

The stream flows idly by. It's just deep enough for someone to drown it, providing me with the perfect circumstances to die of. It's the only option. I just have to lean forwards and let gravity take care of the rest. Everything else has been taken care of. I've written my letters, said my goodbies (to no one really) and weighted my options.

And this is the final solution.

I take a deep breath before, letting one foot dangle right above the water. I think drowning here is the perfect way to die. It's peaceful; I can see myself floating in the dark blue, surrounded by the gentle water. My mind and body becoming one with the deep, dissolving slowly until Sammy is no more. It's a beautiful death, a death where I can slowly and surely be forgotten by the world. All my sorrows can be drowned while I float to the light; to a place outside of this world. I can almost see the gateway to the other side and feel the wet sensation.

Or is that my tears?

Who knows. All there is to it that my time is done. Little by little, I lose my grip on the railing. It's getting colder and the water will freeze, sealing me away to rest in peace.

"Don't jump! Holy crap!" an unfamiliar voice drags me out of my bliss. It can't be helped that someone would catch me in the act since I'm on a public bridge but holy moly, that guy gave me a heart attack. As I turn to see who he is, I slip on my way. It's like the whole world goes into slow-motion. You know in movies when someone dies and they see their life flash before their eyes just before the Grim Reaper strikes? That's what I'm seeing except, this time, it's all the bad memories; the ones, I'd kill to bury. All the more reason to end it all.

But I can't. Before I splash into the water, someone grabs my wrist, leaving me slamming against the edge of the bridge. Right on my hips. It's painful to be perfectly blunt and it will surely leave a huge bruise. Aw shoot.

"Hold on!" he groans and tries to pull me up. And he somehow manages to just that. Granted, being on the cheerleading team has rendered me weightless and agile. This guy is determined to see me alive. I could have pried his fingers off or give him a karate chop to let me go but then, he would probably call the police or jump in after me, so my plan is basically ruined. The guy stumbles backwards and lands on his but before he clutches his shoulder. He sits for a bit and then stumbles back to his feet, still clutching that shoulder.

"Are you ok?" I suddenly ask without being aware of it. Stupid me. My brain has completely shut off. Oh well….

"Don't mind me, what about you? I mean…" He suddenly pauses.

"If you are sad, then death is not the option." He looks directly at me and I get a better look at him. He has green eyes and dirty blond hair that is neatly combed. He's very stylish, like the kind of guy Amy would date, around our age too. The type of guy that would add fuel to my torment because he had been blinded by the V. But that's not what catches my attention. It's what he said.

Death is not the option, huh?

What in the hell does he know about that? He is a complete stranger and he says that to me?! If he had known what my daily life is, what hell I have to endure every day, he wouldn't say that. He wouldn't rob me of my only way out.

I don't want to thank him. But I can't find it within me to be angry, even if I felt like punching him in the gut. I just look at him as his wide, green eyes meet mine. He is clearly worried; he just prevented someone from taking their own life. I can't imagine what he is thinking right now. But I can't forgive him right away,

Just then, my phone on the ground starts buzzing. It completely takes me aback as a dreadful feeling overtakes me. No, a freaking panic attack consumes me. I see the dreaded name "Amelia" on the screen again and my heart pounders so hard in my chest, it's about to burst out. My breathing becomes uneven and everything begins to twirl around me. The aching on my hips grows worse. It's horrible; I'm back at square one. How I wished that he would just leave me alone so I could jump off that damn bridge again and drown.

Before I know it, I'm on my knees. I'm having a freaking panic attack before a stranger, hyperventilating like I just ran a marathon. In the past, I've been good at hiding my vicious anxiety but now all the ugly wounds reopen and my true anguish is poured out like a leak in a dam. My nails dig into the snowy ground and tears start falling uncontrollably from my eyes in streams. I can't imagine the thoughts inside this guy's head, literally watching some random person having a complete mental breakdown.

I've been in this position before, but something is different. I've melted down before with someone witnessing the flower of dystopia bloom. A warm hand is suddenly placed on my shoulder, causing me to look upwards. His arm hangs lifelessly close to his body, with my phone in his hand.

"Hey." he calls softly, stirring something within me. Kindness is so underrated.

"I don't want to go home." I slowly whisper. Those six words are the only ones on the tip of my tongue as visions of Amy's horrors flashes before my eyes.

"I don't want to…" I whimper. If I had any hopes of controlling myself, then these hopes have been shot and killed like Bambi's mom. I'm sobbing and crying in such a devastating manner. I had set my hopes so high; I had wished to finally be gone. To disappear from this world and the rotten people of my life was the ultimate dream and now, I'm forced to go back. I can't deal with it anymore. I'm done in more ways than one.

"…Let's go to the hospital, then." He says a little too optimistically for my liking. I can sense a hint of uneasiness and worry.

I don't really have a choice in the matter. The guy probably hurt himself by saving me and I can't just do a bitch-move and ditch him. Even if it wasn't mean to turn out like this, I do still own him. So I, the sobbing mess that I am, nods.

"What happened?" The nurse asks as she looks at the guy's arm. She grabs his arm and moves it around for a bit while he is biting his lip in order to contain a scream. Silence befalls the room as no one really wants to answer that. It's getting increasingly awkward. What should I say? I can't just say "Hey, I tried to commit suicide and this guy saved me". Then she would call my mom and everything would go to hell. But I can't just leave such a question hanging in the air like this either.

"I…" I start with no idea of what to say next.

"She slipped!" The guy suddenly saves my butt. "She slipped outside and I, being the gentleman that I am, tried to save her but fell in the progress." He flashes the most secure smile, I've seen to date.

The nurse buys it. "Well, I guess it can't be helped with how the weather is at days." That was appallingly easy.

"You just dislocated your shoulder. Luckily, I would say as many people break stuff, this time around. Please wait here while I get the plaster." She prances around for a bit before disappearing out of the room and thus another wave of silence enters the room.

I stare at my feet with the guy's eyes staring at me. I wish he would stop that.

"Uhm… thanks for covering me." I mumble without looking up. I pull my knees under my chin and the exhaustion washes over me like a shower. My eyelids fight to stay open but they just don't have the strength anymore. Luckily, there's a wall to catch my dozing body, so I don't fall like a dead horse.

"Heh, don't mention it." He pauses for a bit. I can hear him smirk nervously but I don't blame him. It has probably been a bizarre day for him. And that's putting it mildly.

"The name's Topher."

"Samey-Sammy. My name is not Samey, it's Sammy. Silly me, sorry." My instincts make me say. I don't really feel like speaking up or thinking of whatever comes out of my mouth nor do I have the strength to really care.

Topher doesn't say anything to me at first.

"Cool." He finally says albeit his voice is a little shaky. In that moment, the nurse arrives to apply the plaster. While she is in the midst of doing so, Topher has his eyes on me. He groans when the nurse is a little too rough but he keeps his façade up. From my half-closed eyelids, I see him shift between the nurse and me. He shouldn't do that, though; I'm too tired, too empty to attempt anything. Again.

Time suddenly flows away with everything and it feels like I'm disconnecting from the rest of the world. I let my eyes close and close my ears for any sounds around me. I just want to sleep. And never wake up again.

"Hey, I'm done." Topher is shaking me. The first thing, I see is the sling around his arm is a sling. My vision is still a bit blurry and my head groggy but regardless, I still find it within myself to stand on my feet and stagger around after him.

If my heart can sink any lower, it would be resting on my feet now. I stare at my own house, ready to go in but my feet won't take me there. My sinking heart is literally hammering inside me, pumping blood around like an overworked machine and my palms are sweaty. I take a single lick of the soft-ice but it just tastes like air in my mouth. My stomach twists and turns and it feels like I'm about to throw up.

"Sure is a nice house you have." Topher says with much awe. He has already eaten his ice cream.

"Here, you can have the rest." I tug my face with my scarf as tears emerge in my eyes. My voice is shaky and I'm pretty sure it would completely crack if I spoke some more. I don't want to burden him anymore with my problems. Even if he is a complete stranger, he has shown me such kindness, completely alien to my daily life. I wanted to die today but I ended being saved and then treated for ice cream. Who eats ice cream in winter anyways? As if the cold weather wasn't enough. But I digress. I didn't want to talk to any more people today but now I find myself grateful. I don't want to but I can't help it.

"…can I give you my phone number?"

"Huh?" Did I hear him right?

"Heheh, I'm maybe not the best guy to do this but if you ever feel like talking things over, you can always call me. I always got time to help a damsel in distress." His voice becomes all confident and borderline smug.

Regardless of the insensitivity, the muscles in my face do some weird contractions. It hurts a bit as it takes me a while to realize that I am actually smirking for the first time in forever. On my own. Not because society expects me to but a true smirk. For such a silly comment, that is mind-blowing. But it's a tingling feeling that makes my heart slow down a bit.

"Don't call me that…" I hand him my phone. "Thanks for everything. Sorry that I dislocated your shoulder." I feel so incredibly guilty now. I literally got Topher dragged into my misery and he ended up injured because of that.

Topher access my phone rather quickly. "Things like that happen. I take it all on the chin." Within a matter of moments, he is done and hands over my phone again. We switch and he holds the ice-cream. He smiles at me but it's sincere with no hints of overconfidence. The tears run like streams down my cheeks but are quickly stopped by my scarf.

"Thanks. Again." I sob, before forcing my feet into hell. I can always try to die another day. He does not know me; he wouldn't be said if I was gone tomorrow. Putting my phone in my pocket, I step inside the door, trying to brace myself of whatever waits for me inside. But the second, I close the door, my body freezes in place. I'm completely paralyzed by fear because my exact mirror image is standing in the entrance, ready to murder me.

"You have 10 seconds to tell me where you've been." Amy crosses her arms before me with a sullen expression on her face. She glares at me with such an intensity that could just as well have killed me, right where I stand. She slowly takes one step after the other towards me as let her arms fall to her side. Her fist is clenched almost to the point where her knuckles are chalk-white. My heartbeat is dangerously fast; my eyes grow wide. I want to scream on top of my lungs, but my throat is dry. The words are stuck in my throat as 10 seconds passes by quickly.

I can't escape…!