Kurt was lounging on his bed, sifting aimlessly through his moisturiser collection. Throwing down the silvery tub clutched in his hand and picking up a compact mirror from his nightstand, he flipped open the lid and stared at himself.
"He doesn't even talk. I mean I know he can because he sings in glee club, but even then he sings ridiculously quietly. I had to practically shove my ear under his mouth to hear anything."
"Yeah, that was weird. Matt looked super uncomfortable."
Kurt squinted at the compact before snapping it closed and glaring across the room at Finn slouched gracelessly across his couch killing some alien things on Kurt's TV screen. As Kurt watches, Finn's mouth drops open and some drool escapes, causing a shudder to run through Kurt's body. Only a few months ago Kurt would have considered that string of saliva the most alluring thing in the library of all human experience. Now, as he watched the glob impact Finn's collar, he just felt a little horrified that someone so close to his wardrobe was capable of such wanton damage to clothing. Though Finn was wearing a shirt that was probably dirty and defiantly heinous, Kurt wasn't sure that Finn was capable of distinguishing between Walmart and Alexander McQueen. With a quick glance at his wardrobe doors to ensure they were firmly closed, Kurt pivoted his body to face Finn head on, lips thinned, brow furrowed.
"I know that I can come across as a little intense, but I can't help it, that's just me. Matt's practically a mystery to me, which is weird seeing as we're both in glee and I was on the football team for a while with him." Kurt practically jumps off the bed in frustration, waving his arms as he speaks, looking like an impeccably dressed windmill. "He hardly talks, which is fine if you're going for the strong and silent type, but it makes interpreting any signals completely impossible. Short of attaching an antenna to my head I'm just going to have to go up to him and shake him until he speaks. Or something like that, because I definitely can't pull off a forehead antenna." Kurt sighed, and collapsed in a huff in the chair next Finn.
"Wait, I'm sure you wore something like an antenna for that Gaga dude's song. Oh wait, I forgot about your gay radar thing, do you think you'll mess that up with the antenna?" Finn said as he blew up another alien's brain, though Kurt wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't his own that just exploded.
Cupping his ears, as if to catch any escaping brain matter, "There's so much wrong with that question that I don't know where to start. Give me a second. Okay. Gay radar. Where did you even hear about that? I assume you mean gaydar, right? That thing that lead me to believe that you could have been interested in me like that" Kurt feels obligated to stress the last two words to prove to himself and the world that he can acknowledge the most uncomfortable crush in the history of Lima, and the fact that he is so far over it that he's practically in orbit.
"Huh. Yeah, I guess you're not that good at rooting out the sneaky gays persuading our society. You'd need like, a really big antenna to fix your gay radar. Gaydar. Huh. Cool name. You're always so smart at stuff like that."
Rolling his eyes and fixing them skywards as if begging the ghosts of dead fashion icons everywhere to give him strength, Kurt snaps, "The word is pervading Finn, and dear Gucci, why are you watching Sue's corner?"
Kurt glared as Finn fidgeted under the weight of his bitch-face, eventually getting shot in the head by a green alien thing with tentacles and slime, forcing him to lower the controller and face Kurt. Clasping his hands together and trying to figure out a response that wouldn't cause a new 'faggy-gate' Finn stammered something to the effect of, 'news… need to understand the world around me… civic duty… international cheerleading coach...' The mash-up of How to be a Better Boyfriend by Rachel Berry and How to be Less Like Human Scum by Coach Sylvester was so disturbing that Kurt took pity on Finn. Placing an artfully manicured hand over closed eyes, Kurt wiped away the stupid and opens his eyes. Gone.
Kurt shifted a little in his seat, hands falling to the edge of his Valentino scarf, his slender fingers tracing the bold pattern as he composed himself. Kurt took a deep breath and pulled himself out of his hunched posture. Vulnerability might not have been a look he did often, but he was convinced he could make it fabulous.
"It's just that I kind of, could possibly consider, in a hypothetical situation, really liking Matt, you know, in that way, and Mercedes keeps on telling me to go for it, that he really is sending me signals, but she thought we were dating once, and she really doesn't know Matt that well, and you've known him through football for years. I guess I just wanted a second opinion, one from someone who actually knows Matt."
Panicked blue eyes suddenly shot up as Kurt realised exactly what he said. "You can't tell Mercedes that I went to you after talking to her, or that I needed a second opinion. She's my best friend and I love her, but I'm reasonably sure she'd take me to the carpet for this infraction of the best friend code."
While Finn wasn't entirely sure what an infraction was, he had had a fracture in seventh grade when he fell out of a tree and broke his arm. That was painful, and if an infraction was similar (it certainly sounded it) then he didn't want it to happen to Kurt or Mercedes, so he nodded his head saying, "Of course I won't tell her dude, we're like half-step-brothers-in-law now."
Smiling ruefully at Finn's mangling of the English language and their admittedly increasingly complex family tree, Kurt prodded, "So about Matt…"
"Well dude, I don't really know. I mean, we've been friends for years sure, but he's always been kinda quiet. Mike's the only one who really knows anything personal about him. Sorry Kurt." Finn really did look sorry as Kurt leant back into his chair, disappointed at the apparent lack of any solid information on the mysterious Matt Rutherford.
Muttering about how all the good ones are either impossible to read, straight, or just impossibly straight, Kurt stood and smoothed the non-existent wrinkles from his outfit, striding purposefully to his industrially sized make-up dresser. Sinking onto the padded seat, Kurt retreats into his practised mantra; if you can't do anything else, you can still moisturise.
Seeing that Kurt is apparently done talking, Finn heaves himself off the couch and heads to the stairs to see if Burt wants to watch a game on the wide-screen. Passing Kurt he says, "Don't worry about it Kurt, Rachel always has the best ideas for stuff like this."
Jumping up, his fist squeezing the tube of moisturiser aimed at his forehead, Kurt shrieks, "You are not telling Rachel ANYTHING about this Finn, I mean it!" Heavy-duty moisturiser rolling down his face, Kurt adds, "And Lady Gaga is NOT a man!"
A/N - So I was just writing a piece about Finn and Kurt talking about boys, and it turns out I was actually writing chapter two of Taste The Rainbow. Go figure. So if this feels kind of disconnected from the first part you know why ;). Reviews, constructive criticism and ideas are always welcome, as I'm considering writing further chapters but I'm still kinda on the Fence. Let me know what you think.
