TEASER

A young Asian girl (around 11 years old) darts around the edges of a large, boisterous crowd, all of whom have their attention diverted away from her. She is eagerly, but cautiously, picking pockets. Suddenly, a big, hairy (emphasis on the big, and extra emphasis on the hairy) man grabs her hand! "A Thief!!!", he yells as he hoists her into the air by her arm. People nearby turn around as the man continues to yell and jerk the girl around. The camera zooms across the crowd to where the rabble's attention had been directed a few seconds earlier. It is a platform, complete with a portly man holding a scroll, an enormous hooded executioner with an equally enormous axe, and a man with his hands tied behind his back. The man is Autolycus, the self-proclaimed "King of Thieves". He glances back at the executioner. "Kids today, huh?"

The big, hairy man works his way through the crowd, dragging the girl, who continues to yell and try to pull away. "Here's another filthy thief for the chop!", he proclaims to the portly man with the scroll and presents the girl. "This is most irregular," the portly man says, then turns to the crowd. "Are there any other witnesses? Is this girl a thief?" From the back of the crowd, a few people shout yes and a few shout that their moneypurses and jewelry are gone. "Very well then," the portly man concludes and takes the girl's arm, pulling her up on the execution platform. She struggles to get free, crying out "I didn't do it! I didn't do it!" As she struggles, a few bags of coins and a necklace or two fall out of the folds in her garment. She looks up at the portly man, her eyes growing wide with fear. The man smirks.

Behind him, Autolycus leans back to the executioner and mumbles something. "What??", the executioner asks, turning toward Autolycus, who then slams the back of his head full-force into the executioner's face, knocking the large man backwards and off the platform for a six-foot drop. The axe falls to the platform floor. "I said 'Watch out'," Autolycus says as he looks down to where the man has fallen on about four people in the crowd.

The portly man turns to see where the noise is coming from, and suddenly finds himself on the receiving end of a spin-kick from Autolycus. As he tumbles down the stairs, he lets go of the girl. She runs forward and grabs the axe. "Good timing, whoever you are," Autolycus says to her. The crowd surges forward yelling, and soldiers from the town's constabulary start to rush the stage. Autolycus, hands still tied behind his back, stands with his back to the girl, who is trying her best to swing the heavy axe as the soldiers race up the stairs. "Of course," Autolycus adds over his shoulder, "Your timing COULD have been better."

FADE OUT....

OPENING CREDITS BEGIN

ACT ONE

TITLE CARD: "Thieves So Daring"

FADE BACK IN

as soldiers run up the stairs. "A little help?", Autolycus says to the girl, who turns long enough to cut the ropes that are holding his arms behind his back. Autolycus gets his arms free from the ropes just in time to elbow one of the soldiers in the face. As three others approach, he executes a spinning backwards leap, landing on top of the chopping block.

Autolycus allows himself a second to be impressed with his own feat before he has to turn his attention back on the soldiers, who race forward. Meanwhile , taunting soldiers surround the girl, who valiantly swings the enormous axe and is quickly growing exhausted by the effort. Behind her, a hand reaches up and takes hold of the platform, and the enormous executioner starts climbing back up onto the stage.

With his martial arts prowess (and a bit of below-the-belt cheating), Autolycus makes short work of the three soldiers and then turns to see if the girl is in trouble. He is suddenly face-to-shoulder with the executioner, who growls bemusedly and looks down at him. The executioner is holding the axe, and two soldiers hold the squirming girl, each by one arm. "You know, this was all a big misunderstanding," Autolycus starts, then delivers a quick and powerful kick to the executioner's groin. the man grunts for a second and then bends fractionally, then stands back straight.

"And so was that," Autolycus adds. The executioner raises the axe, but before he can strike a voice calls out "Stop!!!"

The crowd turns to see a husky, magnificently dressed black man in his 50s riding on a chariot. "What manner of riot is going on here?", he says, surveying the crowd, who have grown quiet and nervous.

The portly man approaches. "Today's execution, your majesty."

"I only signed the order to kill the man who stole my daughter's jewels," the king bellows.

"A-and her honor," the portly man adds, then instantly regrets having brought up the subject.

The king ignores this comment. "Who is the child up there, then?"

"I know not, your majesty. She was a pickpocket who..."

"You would execute a child for stealing coins?," the king insists, growing more angered. He strides through the crowd and up onto the platform, followed closely by the portly man. The king turns to the girl. "Who are you, child?"

"My name is Muran," the girl says weakly, looking up to the imposing king.

"We will hold you in the prison until your parents can be found," the king says, then turns to Autolycus. "Did you bring this child with you when you came to my province, 'King of Thieves'?"

Autolycus glances at Muran. "But of course," he tells the king. "She's my daughter."

The king is taken aback and Muran looks confused.

"She doesn't look much like you," the king says suspiciously.

"Takes after her mother," Autolycus quickly adds. "And... I'd like to reunite her with her mother before I die. So she doesn't starve in the gutters."

The king turns to look at Muran. "I can appreciate that. One must watch after one's daughter," he says sharply, turning his attention back to Autolycus. "Why didn't you mention this earlier?"

"Slipped my mind. Beheadings make me forgetful."

The king glowers. "And where is this mother?"

"Taranes," Autolycus offers quickly.

The king is taken aback. "That's four days ride each way!"

"I can make it back in six days," Autolycus says. "Just let me take the girl back home, and you have my word, I'll be back in plenty of time. Then, you can cut my head off."

The king looks at him skeptically.

CUT TO:

Autolycus and Muran sit in a cage, bouncing to and fro with the bumps in the road. They are on the back of a carriage being pulled by four horses. Two soldiers handle the reins, while two others stand guard by the sides of the cage, holding onto it to keep their balance. The sky is growing dark as storm clouds move in.

"Just our luck," Autolycus mutters. "On top of everything else, it's going to rain."

"I've never even been to Taranes," Muran whispers angrily. "And you're NOTHING like my father."

"Be quiet, kid, and we may make it out of this alive," Autolycus responds in a whisper, glancing to make sure the king's guards aren't listening in.

"The king wasn't going to kill ME," Muran responds.

"This isn't the time to argue," Autolycus says, "You don't happen to have a needle or something on you?"

"No," she replies angrily, looking at Autolycus. Her eyes widen with fear as she looks past him. Behind him, Autolycus hears a grunt. He turns around in time to see one of the guards lifted into the air, kicking fiercely as a human-sized, winged... thing... pulls him up by his neck. Flapping wings come from the other side, and the other guard is lifted up, then the two at the reins are snatched. We still have not gotten a good look at the creatures, as four of them fly back into the trees carrying the soldiers and four others swoop toward the cage.

They vaguely resemble humanoid bats, with criss-crossed chains across the chests and leather thongs. Maces hang from their belts. One with only half of a left ear screeches at the others. The other three swoop in and, using the claws on their feet, grab hold of the edges of the heavy cage, lifting it to expose Autolycus and Muran.

Autolycus grabs Muran's arm and drags her over the edge of the wagon, which is still in motion as the horses panic. The bat-things drop the cage and follow Half-ear, who is flapping furiously to keep up with the wagon. Autolycus and Muran cling desperately to the wooden understructure of the carriage.

"What are those things?," Muran yells, trying not to look down at the road racing past them.

"I have no idea, but I don't think they like us," Autolycus replies. There is a thud above them and a plank of wood right above Autolycus' head is torn away. Half-ear is standing on the carriage, its two-inch long claws grasping the splintered wood. It looks down at Autolycus's exposed face and... smiles. Or sneers. Or something, it's hard to tell with its hideous face.

The horses swerve off the road, heading across a grassy field. The sudden bump knocks Half-ear off the carriage, but it quickly regains its composure and expands its wings, swooping up into the air and then back down toward the carriage. The carriage bounces furiously as it goes through the field, which has three-foot high grass. Lightning cracks and there is a loud boom of thunder as rain starts pouring. The horses swerve and the carriage tumbles. The four bat-things hover over the wreckage, screeching and ignoring the horses who run off....

FADE OUT.

ACT TWO

FADE IN several dozen yards back from the bat-things flapping around the wrecked wagon, where the wheel tracks are still visible in the tall grass. Autolycus looks up from the grass and ducks back down. Muran starts to say something, but he hushes her and they scramble toward the forest at the edge of the field. It takes a minute for the bat-things to realize what has happened to their prey, but they are soon on their way after them. Autolycus and Muran dive into the woods just in time.

"They can't fly in the woods, their wings are too big," Muran says happily. the trees provide some shelter from the pouring rain, but not much.

"True," Autolycus says, "But they still have legs!" He grabs her arm and runs as the bat-things move into the woods after them.

The bat-things run through thick woods and look around. Two of them go one direction, while Half-ear and the other go a different way, running over a huge log.

CAMERA POV swerves around to one end of the log, which is hollow. Autolycus and Muran are squeezed inside it, holding their breaths.

"I think they're gone," Autolycus whispers as he scrambles out of the log.

"My arm's gonna be sore for weeks," Muran whines, rubbing her arm as she follows him. The two quickly make their way through the woods away from where the two groups of bat-things were headed.

"I've never seen anything like them before," Muran says.

"You're young," Autolycus replies.

"You're not, and you haven't seen 'em either," she says. "Where did they come from?"

"How should I know?," Autolycus says as he peers into a clearing. They hear rustling branches in the distance behind them. Autolycus looks up at the trees. "By Zeus, I wish I had my grappling hook right now," he says.

"Did the king's soldiers take it away?" Muran asks.

"Well, when they caught me I didn't exactly have my outfit..." He pauses, looking at her. "I'll explain when you're older."

Autolycus leaps up and swings into the trees, quickly followed by Muran. They climb high and look down as the bat-things enter the clearing. Autolycus motions to Muran to be quiet. She points to his feet. Autolycus looks down to see the limb he is on bending. "Oh, shi-" he starts, as the limb snaps, and he calls out "Aaaaaaaaa!!!" as he falls to the forest floor.

CUT TO:

Autolycus wakes up. He is in darkness. He sits up, rubbing his head. He looks around, realizing that he is in a cave. Glowing fungi on the walls provide dim illumination. He is not alone.

Autolycus backs up against the wall as he makes out other shapes. One of them moves toward him. It speaks. "Are you all right?" It is a man's voice. He sounds hoarse, as if he hasn't had anything to drink in a long while.

"Yeah, fine," Autolycus says, rubbing the back of his head. "Never better. Where am I?"

"In the caverns."

"I gathered that. What caverns?"

"We don't know their name. I'm Coreles."

"Autolycus, at your service." Autolycus stands and paces around. "So, let me guess. You were attacked by giant bats..."

"Yes. We ran into them a few days ago." Five other shapes emerge from the shadows. "We're miners, and we were in these caves looking for crystals. Terus broke through a wall and these... things... were living in the passageways behind it."

"We thought it was an air pocket," Terus says defensively.

"They have elaborate tunnels down here," Coreles interjects. "We have no idea how many there are, or how long they've lived here. For all we know, they've always been here and we just never saw them before... and they never saw us."

"So they locked you up in here." Autolycus strides around. "Where's the door?"

Coreles points up. Autolycus follows his finger, and looks up twenty feet into the blackness. He sees a hole in the roof.

"Well, there goes the lockpicking option," Autolycus mutters.

CUT TO:

The mouth of the cave. Two bat-things sit just inside the doorway, glancing out to the sunlit would outside it. They don't seem happy. They squeak at each other in patterns. One tosses a stone at the far wall, and the other tosses another. The second one's stone lands closer to the wall and it emits a hissing laugh as the other looks more unhappy.

Muran looks tentatively into the cave, from above. She is on a ledge above the mouth of the cave, hanging upside down. As one of the bat-things looks to the opening, she pulls up suddenly. She takes a rock and throws it towards a nearby bush. The bat-things jump up at the sudden noise, and head out of the cave.

As they rummage around the bushes, using their wings as shelter from the bright sunlight, Muran sneaks into the cave...

CUT TO:

Autolycus tumbles, taking three men below with him into a crumpled heap. they have been trying to get at the roof of the cavern/prison cell. Autolycus was standing on Coreles' shoulder, and he on another's, and so on.

"Ah, well," Autolycus says, trying to regain his composure. "Plan B, then."

"And that would be?," Terus asks.

"Make a lot of noise. Get one of them down here, and force it to fly us out."

Autolycus starts yelling at the ceiling, taunting the bat-things. "Hey, ya big uglies!!! Get your sorry butts down here!!!"

Coreles leans over to him. "So, you've forgotten about their claws and fangs, then?"

Autolycus looks at him and shuts up. "Okay, plan C."

"And that would be?," Terus repeats.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking...."

Autolycus paces back and forth. A voice comes from above. It is Muran. "Autolycus?"

He races back to the spot right under the opening. "Kid? How'd you get in here?"

"I snuck in. there aren't too many of them out there, close to the cave opening. I think they don't like sunlight."

"Swell. Ya got any rope?"

Muran wrinkles her nose. "Where would I get rope?"

Coreles taps Autolycus' shoulder. "We had some with us, with our provisions. We stored it in a small passageway near the opening of the cave. Assuming the creatures didn't carry it off..."

"I'll check!" Muran says, then scurries off.

"Be careful!" Autolycus calls in a loud whisper after her. Then, as if to explain his concern, he turns to the other prisoners. "If she gets caught, we can't get out."

CUT TO:

The two bat-things at the cave entrance sit across from each other, absently throwing rocks back and forth to catch. Muran sneaks along the corridor toward them, and then ducks into a side-tunnel.

CUT TO:

Autolycus paces, looking up worriedly. Suddenly, a rope falls.

Muran calls out from above in a loud whisper. "I've tied it around a stalactmi... stelect... one of the rocks up here!"

"Way to go, kid," Autolcyus says as he starts to shimmy up the rope. Muran stands up and proudly surveys her handiwork, failing to notice a bat-thing coming up behind her....

FADE OUT.

ACT THREE

FADE IN

Autolycus is most of the way up the rope when he hears a muffled yelp from above. "Kid?" he calls, hurrying his pace. As he gets to the top of the hole, he sees Muran struggling in the grip of a bat-thing. It is Half-ear. She has it distracted, and it hasn't noticed Autolycus until he takes a swing. Half-ear staggers back, more surprised than injured, and lets go of Muran.

It hisses and bares its claws, circling around toward Autolycus. He dives behind a stalagmite, barely dodging its slashing attack. Then he reaches up for stalactites above him and, gripping one, uses it for leverage as he swings up and kicks Half-ear hard in the chest. It stumbles back and falls down the hole, to the sounds of yelling from below. Coreles and another miner, who were climbing up right behind Autolycus, manage to dodge it as it falls past them, then make it the rest of the way up the rope.

Below, Half-ear lands hard on its back. It stumbles up onto its feet, and the men remaining in the cavern step back cautiously.

Terus rushes it with a rock, which it deftly dodges, clawing his throat open in the process. He falls gurgling to the cave floor, as two of the other men scramble up the rope. The last one follows, and sees that Half- ear is flapping its wings and beginning to take flight. Using the rope, he swings and kicks it in the face.

"It got Terus!," he yells up. "Pull me up!"

Coreles calls out "Hang on, Vor!" and the men pull on the rope, getting him out just in time to avoid the slashing claws. Half-ear hisses angrily and starts flapping again. It heads up toward the top of the hole... only to be greeted by a massive falling rock that takes it back down.

Autolycus and two of the men brush their hands, looking down in the hole. Half-ear is flat against the floor, its chest crushed by the rock. Once Vor is safely out of the hole, the group races down the tunnel toward sunlight.

"There are two of them guarding the entrance," Muran says.

"You said it yourself, they don't like sunlight," Autolycus replies.

"Yeah, but they also don't like humans!" she responds. The group stops at the noises of snarling and snapping from a side passage. They look down it and see several bat-things crowded around the king's guards who were snatched from the carriage earlier.... well, the remnants of the guards, at any rate. The bat-things are having a hideous feast, and seem gorged.

Muran and Autolycus gulp in unison, then scramble past the passageway, followed by the miners.

They go further down the corridors until they see light ahead. The group pauses as they look out at the two bat-things at the cave door. The bat- things are hissing/talking to one another when a human voice cuts through the air.

"Hello, gentlemen," Autolycus says, laying on the charm as thick as he can. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

They rush toward him, hissing and spitting. Suddenly, four miners jump out of the side corridor beside them and tackle the creatures. Autolycus leaps over them and heads for the doorway, followed by Muran and the miners. The bat-things stumble to their feet and follow, hissing as they emerge into the sunlight. The humans scramble across the sunny clearing, which is brighter than it was earlier when Muran had snuck into the cave. The bat- things retreat back into the darkness.

Coreles looks back. "They're not following. We're safe."

The men and Muran are relieved.

"I doubt that," Autolycus says, catching his breath. "It's five miles to the nearest village, and it'll be sundown before we can get halfway there."

The men and Muran aren't so relieved anymore.

CUT TO:

The group of people racing along the paths that lead back to town. Dusk is approaching. Some of the men are clearly exhausted, but continue to press on. Coreles is in the lead. Autolycus, huffing, catches up with him as they run along. "We can't keep this pace up, Coreles," he says. "We need to find someplace to hide."

"Can't," Coreles says resolutely. "They'll find us. You saw what they did to those other men..."

Coreles pulls back the neck of his shirt, revealing a blood-stained rag tied around his lower neck, and continues, "they also drink blood. We were cattle for them, and I have a feeling they'll be dining on us next chance they get."

"Good point," Autolycus mumbles.

Muran, who is just a few steps behind Autolycus, suddenly turns sharply. "I heard something!", she yells.

Autolycus glances in the direction she turned. "There's nothing there, you're just being paranoiiiiii!!!!" as Autolycus is lifted in the air by a bat-thing which has grabbed hold of his shoulders by the claws on its feet.

Autolycus kicks in the air as he is lifted up. "Hey, no fair!," he cries out. "It's not dark yet!"

Around him, other bat-things take to the air, each carrying one of the group. Muran, in the claws of one near Autolycus, kicks and swings ferociously. "Let go! Let go!"

Autolycus calls over to her, "Um, kid? Don't fight so hard." and points to the ground. She looks down and sees that they are about fifty feet in the air, and getting higher.

"Oh," she says quietly, and then stops struggling.

CUT TO:

The bat-things come down toward the cave entrance, where a large crowd of other bat-things wait.

"Oh, good," Autolycus mutters. "The gang's all here."

The bat-things on the ground form a circle, and Autolycus is dropped into the center of it. The other creatures carrying people continue to hover above.

Autolycus stands and looks around. "I don't think I'm going to like this," he says.

A grey-furred, withered (but still imposing) bat-thing emerges from the crowd. It screeches demandingly at him. Behind it, two other bat-things carry the body of Half-ear. The Grey-thing hisses angrily at Autolycus and holds up an object. It is shaped roughly like a sceptre, and seems to be made of gnarled wood-roots with a red glowing crystal at the top. Grey- thing proceeds to screech and hiss... making a speech, apparently, and the bat-things surrounding Autolycus snarl in agreement. The Grey-thing lowers the sceptre toward Autolycus. Then, almost smiling, it aims the sceptre just in front of Autolycus's feet. There is a loud booming noise and a burst of red light blows a two-foot wide hole in the ground. The Grey-thing and the other bat-things cackle as Autolycus looks down at the smouldering hole.

"I KNOW I'm not going to like this," he corrects himself.

FADE OUT.

ACT FOUR

FADE IN

The Grey-thing lowers the sceptre again, aiming it at Autolycus. Autolycus rolls to one side, narrowly dodging the red light-blast. It hits one of the bat-things behind him, and the recipient of the blast falls back, its chest blown away. This infuriates the Grey-thing, and causes the other bat-things to back away nervously.

"Hey, you can't blame me for that!," Autolycus yells, continuing to move to avoid getting blasted.

He dodges another red energy-blast, and several bat-things behind him throw themselves to the ground. The blast goes over them and blows a small tree to splinters.

"Why are you picking on me, anyhow?" Autolycus says.

Above, the bat-things continue to hover about fifteen feet in the air, hissing and snarling. Muran glances up at the one holding her. She wriggles around, but it ignores her, concentrating on the spectacle below. She wiggles her arms out of the sleeves of her overcoat and drops down, grabbing hold of the coat by the bottom. Now dangling precariously, she looks up. The bat-thing has noticed her move and screams angrily.

Below, the Grey-thing hasn't noticed her and continues to blast at Autolycus, groing angrier each time he dodges. "It's because I'm so good- looking, isn't it?" Autolycus taunts as he dodges blasts. "Just can't handle knowing all the girl monsters are gonna be lusting after --"

Autolycus stumbles over one of the numerous blastholes in the ground and lands hard. The Grey-thing hisses malevolently, smiling as it lowers the sceptre."

"I don't suppose we could negotiate now," Autolycus says weakly.

Muran uses the overcoat to swing and lets go, arcing toward the Grey-thing. She kicks it square in the chest, knocking it back just before it can fire the killing blast at Autolycus. The sceptre falls to the ground, and Autolycus darts forward to grab it before any of the other bat-things can. He holds it menacingly toward them and reaches down to help Muran up.

"Thanks, kid," he says.

"No problem. Do you know how to use that thing?"

"No clue, he says, thrusting the sceptre forward. This causes the bat- things to scatter. "Gods, I wish this thing came with an instruction scroll."

He aims the sceptre upwards, and the bat-things hovering in the air drop their prey and fly off in a panic. The men fall to the ground. Autolycus turns and sees that the Grey-thing has gotten to its feet. It eyes him suspiciously. He thrusts the sceptre forward and it pulls back instinctively, then moves forward again.

"I think it knows I can't use this thing," Autolycus says. He thrusts the sceptre forward once more, and the Grey-thing grabs the tip of it in its large hand. It laughs hysterically, and the other bat-things, which have retreated to the woods, begin to emerge.

Autolycus looks down desperately at the sceptre and notices there are two deep grooves in it eight inches apart. Instinctively, he moves a finger into one groove and uses a finger from his other hand to go into the other groove. There is a loud boom and a burst of red light, and the Grey-thing falls to the ground, its arm and shoulder blown off. The bat-things scurry around, more fearful than ever.

Autolycus aims the sceptre at them, motioning them toward the cave entrance. They scurry in as he blasts at the ground behind them. After they are all in the cave, he aims carefully and blows the entrance to rubble.

"There," he says, self-satisfied. "That should keep them out of our hair."

"Um, you know, not all of them went into the cave," Muran says, glancing nervously at the woods behind them.

"Good point." Autolycus turns to the woods.

"They've scattered," Coreles says. "They're afraid of the.. whatever that thing is." He points to the sceptre.

"Then we'll use this... er, boom stick... to keep them at bay til we get someplace safe," Autolycus says. "Preferably, someplace with hot food and soft beds."

"I'd say we head to the kingdom of Kaeros," Coreles offers.

Muran glances at Autolycus, who clears his throat. "Um... not a good idea," Autolycus says. "The king there doesn't like me very much."

"But his daughter does," Muran says playfully.

Coreles smirks. "Well, then, there's a small village not much farther than that."

The party heads into the dark woods with Autolycus taking the lead, wielding the sceptre and swinging it from one side to the other.

CUT TO:

A small village tavern. Autolycus, Muran and the men sit around a large table eating ravenously from a feast laid out in front of them. Muran leans forward, filling another plate.

"Hey, aren't you out of room yet?" Autolycus says. "You've eaten twice as much as I have."

"I'm still growing," Muran says. "While you're only growing in one direction." She pokes playfully at Autolycus' belly.

The innkeeper approaches. He is a heavy-set, jolly-looking man. "Does anyone need anything else?" he asks.

"More mead!," several of the men call out.

The jolly man starts to turn away, then turns back. "And, um, how will you all be paying for this repast?"

Muran reaches into a pocket on her outfit and pulls out a sparkling diamond necklace. "Will this be payment enough?"

The jolly man holds the necklace. "Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes... More mead, then! And I'll have my wife fix rooms for you all!" and he runs off happily.

"Quite a hefty tip," Autolycus mutters, a bit annoyed. "We could have bought this tavern for that much."

"Don't worry, there's plenty more treasure out there," Muran says just before biting into a thick, cheese-covered slice of bread.

"So," Autolycus says, turning to Coreles, "Where will you men go from here?"

"Back to the woods, I think," Coreles says. "We need to track down the rest of those things before they attack unwary travellers.... After we get some sleep, that is."

"In that case, you'll probably need the boom stick," Autolycus says, handing it to Coreles.

"Yes, of course. Thank you. Are you sure you won't join us?"

"Afraid I can't," Autolycus says. "Before long, the king will send soldiers looking for me. Best I put as much distance as possible between myself and Kaeros."

"Besides, we have to find my mother," Muran adds.

Autolycus glances at her. "What?"

"You promised, remember?"

"Kid, I promise a lot of things, but..."

"And along the way, you can teach me the tricks of the trade."

Autolycus rolls his eyes. "The King of Thieves works alone. You'd just get in my way."

"And save you from angry mobs," Muran says, "and deep pits, and big bat- creatures, and..."

"Okay, okay," Autolycus says as he watches Muran fill another plate. "By the gods, I don't know if I'll be able to afford your food bills. But you can tag along for now... until we find your mother."

"Great," Muran says, spreading butter thick over half a potato.

"Where is she, anyhow?" Autolycus adds.

"Dunno," Muran says between bites. "I haven't seen her since I was about four."

Autolycus rolls his eyes again. "Great."

FADE OUT.

END CREDITS ROLL.

No ferocious blood-drinking bat-creatures were harmed during the making of this episode.