AN: This is my first fic, I've got an idea for continuing it, but if it's a total flop I'll probably scrap it. I'd love to hear anyone's ideas on improvements, CC always welcome. Don't have a beta, but if anyone's interested? Also, sorry if formatting is goofy, I think I did it right, but we'll seeee.

I don't own Megamind and all that jazz.

It Takes a Thief

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Megamind?" The individual in question shrieked, nearly jumped out of his skin, and quite successfully jumped out of his chair. The abandoned seat swirled wildly into a stack of discarded scraps of metal and scattered them across the floor with a loud crash. Megamind winced, hunching down with his spindly arms thrown over his face like he expected to be hit by a stray projectile.

"Uh-" Roxanne's expression was fluttering somewhere between horror and amazement. For a few awkward moments they stood there like that, he cowering and she gaping. He straightened abruptly, brushing imaginary dust off of his clothes and trying his hardest to not look the fool.

"Roxanne!" Megamind's smile split across his face and he looked from her to his desk and back, "I wasn't expecting you." That much was obvious. He took one eager step towards her, then held a finger up and waggled it at her, clarifying something in his head but leaving her in the dark. He spun on his heels and scuttled to the mess on the floor. Roxanne almost felt slighted, but didn't say more, half-ways worrying that another word would shatter the whole room like a pane of glass. Instead she tip-toed towards his turned back, observing his haphazard attempt at clearing the mess, quickly stuffing some things in his utility belt and piling others back in a tower.

He gave up after a moment and tossed a bolt across the floor. "What can I do for you?" He didn't look up at her, just watched the bolt roll in lazy circles before coming to a stop.

She smiled wearily, though she knew he probably couldn't tell. "Can't I just drop by to say hello?" Roxanne knew his answer, and she knew he wouldn't admit it.

"Of course you can." He replied, almost automatically. It was rehearsed, he had learned it was the response that she was hoping for. He didn't understand it, he didn't know what he was supposed to say. He didn't look at her, but he knew her smile was gone. "What's oops?"

"What's up." Roxanne corrected automatically. The correction wasn't condescending, just stating. He dealt better with facts. They had had that conversation before too. "I'm pretty good." Silence. "Listen, Megamind..." More silence. She put a hand on his shoulder and gently pulled him around to face her. He looked awkwardly apprehensive, and wouldn't meet her gaze. She sighed, admonished, "You know," she leaned forward conspiratorially, "Everyone's convinced that I'm the one walking on eggshells." She kissed him on the forehead, gently, motherly, and he let out a soft huff.

"I wasn't walking on anything." Megamind blurted, finally looking up at her. "In fact, I was sitting. On a very com-for-ta-ble chair, I'll have you know."

Roxanne hummed, nodding her head in silent agreement, and looked over Megamind's shoulder at the offending vehicle of chaos. "I can see that. But that's not really what I meant." He shrugged, dismissing her turn of phrase. She found it ironic that he was so fond of punnage, but played the idiot when anyone else tried to do the same.

"I did have something to ask you though," She admitted following another silence. Megamind baulked at her, and then scowled, crossing his arms over his chest and jutting out his lower lip in vain irritation. Why didn't you just say so, she knew he was thinking it, and she knew he wouldn't say it. Why did she put him through the awkwardness of trying to small talk (which she knew he hated) if she had a reason to be there all along? Because she hoped, one of these days, he'd open up again. She knew it was her fault, he had put himself out on a huge limb as Bernard, albeit a huge, disguised, limb. After her rejection he hadn't really ever opened up again. She wasn't sure what she needed to prove to him, wasn't sure that she really had anything to prove at all, other than making up for imagined wrongs. "I was in the warehou-"

"Why were you in the warehouse?" He interrupted.

Roxanne scowled, "If you'd let me finish- " She paused, eyebrow raised, offering him a moment to interject, "Okay? Okay, as I was saying: I was in the warehouse, looking for jumper cables-"

"What are jumper cables?"

"Megamind!"

"Sorry! Sorry."

"I w-

"I don't think I have any of those, though."

She exhaled sharply, no shit Sherlock, I think I figured that out. Roxanne put a finger over his still open mouth, "Please let me finish." She continued, "I left the lights on in my car last night, accidentally, and my battery died. I lent my cables to my sister last month, I haven't gotten them back. So I was in the warehouse looking to see if you had any." His muscles stiffened like he was preparing to speak again, she put her whole palm over his mouth. "Since you don't, I was wondering if you had anything else I could use to recharge my car."

She removed her hand, and awaited his response.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Not helpful, Megamind, not helpful. "Where's the car, I shall see to your drained battery iss-use immediately!" He looked around himself owlishly, searching for something in the mess. A sharp whistle made her wince, but soon after a slew of Brainbots tumbled towards the two of them, eagerly awaiting orders. "Mmmmh...You! Fetch me the portable genera-tor." He turned back to her expectantly, looking uncannily like one of his bots, waiting for instruction.

"It's at my house," She gestured over her shoulder vaguely, as if it was visible behind her.

Megamind frowned, "How did you get here if your car is at your apartment?"

"I rode my bike?"

"Oh." He cleared his throat, "Well, uh, not that I didn't love our last grand unmotorized ciclic adventure..." His explanation petered off, the last time he had been Bernard, "But I think it'll be faster if we just take the Invisible Car." Way to make it awkward.

Megamind was actually talkative on his way over to her apartment building, but it was his normal peacocking. He gushed over his current project, a device which worked as a city-wide firewall, as far as she could tell, protecting against diabolical large-scale electronic domination...and then he got distracted and blaze gleefully and obliviously down another tangent. But he was chatting, it was a start.

He popped open the hood on her car, and peered down in horror. "This is what drives you around?"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with my car." Roxanne rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Except the obvious."

Megamind made a condescending tut-ing sound. He started shuffling through the hardware, and even she knew enough about vehicles to know he was no where near her battery. When she asked, he waved her off with a hand, head still buried between pipes and vents. "I could fix this right up for you," He called, his voice muffled.

"Please just jump my battery, I don't need a new car."

He finally looked up, a large grease smear across his face. He did't seem to notice, "Why not? You are looking at the most awesomely-talented, and most awesomely-handsome..." He flicked a bit of grime off of his shoulder, "mechanic in all of Metrosity!"

She wasn't impressed, "Focus please."

Megamind deflated, grumbling under his breath. "Fine, but I really could make it better." Of this she had no doubt, she also had no desire to be the first victim of Pimp My Ride Megamind Remix.

After a moment of connecting cables he gestured for her to get in her car. But after a few futile attempts to bring it to life it was clear that it would require more than just a jump start. Megamind could see Roxanne sigh, though through the glass he couldn't hear it. She hauled herself back out onto the pavement, scowling at her car and closing the door a little harder than was necessary. "You know, I really wasn't planning on buying you a new battery this pay check." She was talking to the car, not Megamind, which caused him momentary confusion.

"I'm sure I have an extra battery you could use." He pointed out. More than a few of his inventions had been powered by car battery over the years. Roxanne continued frowning at her car, something in her gut gnawed at her, telling her she really shouldn't be accepting favors from the doe-eyed-former-ne'er-do-well.

"I don't know Me-"

"Oh, it's fine," He silenced her concerns with a brandish of his gloved hand. The gesture served a dual purpose and he was quickly pressing a button on his watch, "Minion?"

There were a few moments of silence before Roxanne made out a muffled response. Megamind made a face and pulled the watch down to check the time. He tapped his foot in impatience, but then another sound from the other end had him pulling the watch back up. "Yes, I'm still here." A sound from Minion responded, "Yes, I know it's a new Oprah." Another sound, "Yes, I know. Uh-huh-listen, just, nono, just a quick favor!" Roxanne couldn't help but snort, it was no wonder Megamind interrupted her. He and Minion couldn't hold a conversation without completing each other's sentences. "Would you send me a Brainbot with a battery for Miss Richie's car?" Megamind made a face, "Yes a battery with a charge would be preferable. Yes. Thank you. Yes, I'll let you get back to your show." Another moment later he pressed another button on his watch and his arm fell back to his side. "It'll be here in a little while." He explained.

Roxanne figured it wasn't worth arguing over, but she always felt a twinge of irritation when he made decisions for her. "How long is a little while?"

Megamind shrugged, "Fifteen minutes?" It depended largely on if Minion decided to wait until the next commercial break or not.

Roxanne nodded, there really wasn't much to be done in the meanwhile, unless she wanted to let him gut her car. Which she didn't. "Sooo... I haven't seen you doing much crime-fighting lately."

He shrugged again, "Haven't really needed to, the Brainbots have it covered mostly." He sounded almost disappointed. She supposed it made sense. He'd gone from a life of action and excitement to one of administration and monotony. It was ironic, he had the same problem as a hero as he did as a villain, there just wasn't anyone on the same level as he was (not including Metroman, who was beside the point).

"What about the Mapache?"

Megamind gave her an odd look.

"The Mapache? The one who's been breaking into all the Museums."

"Oh. El Mah-pah-chay." For once Megamind was correcting Roxanne's pronunciation, "It's Spanish. But I don't think he's anything to worry about." He dismissed her attempt at making conversation without a second thought.

Roxanne raised an eyebrow, "Oh, why's that hot-shot?"

Megamind grinned, taking it less as a jab and more as a compliment, "Because I've already gotten the stuff back, I just need to catch the evil-doer." He put his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest, "And people-catching is my speci-al-ity."

She poked him in the stomach, instantly deflating him, "Only when you have your precious knock-out spray." It was a little mean, but she couldn't help taking jabs at his vanity. He made a poor imitation of her harping at him, but she knew he wasn't seriously insulted.

"Well, I'll be sure not to run out then." he crossed his arms over his abused stomach and leaned back against the invisible car, making it look like like he was defying gravity. She wondered absently how many times he tried to do that and missed. If she only knew.

They found themselves fallen into in another dragged-out awkward silence one that lasted the better part of those fifteen minutes (Minion was merciful, and prompt in his sending off of the Brainbot). They talked idly, but a jab out hit too close to home, or a joke would fall on deaf ears, and one or the other would look away. The silences seemed to be occurring more and more often, and Roxanne wouldn't be surprised if one of these days everything blew up in her face. But that day wasn't today. Today her battery was resurrected, she nodded her thanks, he accepted it without question and the elephant in the room just sat there knitting and minding its own business.

Breaking news: This is Roxanne Richie reporting live from the Metro City Bank, site of the most recent of a string of sabotage attempts and upscale burglaries in the downtown area. For the first time in nearly a year, the bank has closed its doors to the public. Officials are on the scene and appear to be rectifying the situation. No individuals are reported harmed, and the amount stolen is currently undisclosed. I am assured that there is no cause for concern, an investigation is already underway and the situation is well under control. The individual known as El Mapache has gained notoriety over the past several weeks for a number of successful robberies, most recently at the Museum of Natural History. El Mapache is currently the primary suspect in the current investigation. Anyone with information pertaining to El Mapache is urged to call the number at the bottom of the screen. Police are offering a reward for information leading to his arrest. Tune in at 10 for the latest developments. Roxanne Richie signing off-