Needles

Chapter 1

I have been with Edward for 2 years now, and working at the shop for little over a year. For the last six months I have been working along side Edward, being a tattoo apprentice of sorts. I never dreamed I would enjoy giving as well as receiving tattoos, but I love it. I am so at peace now, the chaos in my mind has finally calmed. I love my new extended adopted family, I feel at home.

People are constantly asking me about my tattoos and my piercings, they all have special meanings to me; each one represents some sort of break through for me. The turn of events that led me down this turbulent path was not easy or pleasant. It was a bumpy road, but I don't believe I would change a thing. The journey has made me stronger and into the person I am now. I am more confident and for once in my life I am truly happy. This is my story, the story of my tattoos and my journey to a new beginning.

Everyday there is something else tearing at her already tattered heart and soul. Always something chipping at her resolve and her already low self esteem. Her shattered heart will never be fixed, there is no way in hell it could ever be whole again. When you cage a wild bird, it breaks their spirit; the bird mourns the loss of their soul and eventually dies.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

With a fearful trill

Of things unknown

But longed for still

And his tune is heard

On the distant hill

For the caged bird

Sings of freedom.

At least once a day she wants to run; run fast and as far away as she can. No one understands. No one cares it doesn't matter that she feels lonely everyday.

Would he accept her on her terms? There are always conditions. Could he let his wall down? Too many possibilities, so do you lay in the corner, cowering, praying that life passes you by quickly, quietly?

Yet, in the dark, when it is only him and her, things seem different. He almost seems close enough to touch, and truly hold. He almost appears to have emotion, instead of that shell of a man walking around, devoid of any feeling. His words are kind, sometimes almost erotic and longing, and the make her forget the rest briefly. His eyes- always distant and cold, no emotion, no warmth. Is his soul that dark? Could she just give up and walk away? No way could she fix this, his pain and isolation runs too deep.

She must also fight to save herself from her own personal hell. Her own personal hell, as she so affectionately called it consisted of her low self esteem, terrible self image, and crazy mood swings. Always trying her best and still feeling like she didn't measure up, like she would never be good enough. Always trying to distract people from looking too close, she would dress, act, or just be different.

Also trying to act somewhat normal; as a front while the real, crazy her hides underneath. She continued to hold onto her dreams and still believe in love, fate, and blind faith.

Not trusting anyone's intentions especially since her heart never seems to heal, before it's ripped open again and left bleeding. She used sex as a band-aide; waves of orgasm wash away her pain briefly, hands on her skin dull the ache in her heart, but no one could ever get close enough to touch her soul, her broken, lost soul. She had a hard time trusting herself or heart; it always got her into trouble. She hated herself for not having the balls to stand up and stop being a door mat. She always told herself that if she was a door mat at least she was getting some attention. She needs to fight for herself now, if she doesn't stand up for herself who will? Alas she wasn't feeling very confident right now.

She has been feeling trapped and alone as usual, except now alone was ok she was starting to like it. She seemed to be able to keep the pain and heartache pressed down deep, occasionally it would bubble to the surface and the dams would break. Lately she has been feeling so fake, so not herself. She puts on a smile, trudges to and from work, fixes dinner, does laundry, straightens the house, her routine was so mundane.

She did what she could to avoid feeling any kind of emotion. Things with her and Mike were just as dull, she would she lay there during sex, void of any kind of feeling, praying it would be over soon. It never matter whether she was in the mood or not, he would just take sex if she denied him, it was easier not to fight. All of his comments about how plain and ordinary she was, has worn away her self esteem. Most days she feels as if she is losing her mind, or maybe she's lost in her mind, or maybe she's just crazy.

She had so many dreams and plans, she can't believe that this life she is leading is all there is. There is so much she wants to do and see.

Sometimes when he's touching her in the dark she almost feels desired, she feels like she may actually be pleasing him. But he never fails to reassure her that he is only telling her what she wants to hear, to make the sex better since she has no "real" experience. How is she ever going to be able to trust anyone, no one seems to truly want her around. Sometimes she wonders if maybe he was the reason making love was so awful, he would pump a few times and then roll over and go to sleep. She has never had an orgasm; at least she didn't think so. She was so naïve for 23, she had been kept away from the world for so long. A father that was afraid something would happen to her and an over protected boyfriend who wanted her all to his self.

Looking through the window into these 2 peoples' lives is sad. Life seems to move around them, instead of them moving through life. How did things get this bad and can anything ever change? Mike is 24 and Bella is 23 at this young age, no one should know this much heartache and torment, no one should feel lonely, or give up their dreams. Hope springs eternal, isn't that what they say?

This is the story of a girl struggling to find her own way. A girl trying to leave the comfort of an abusive relationship and realize that sometimes separation is better for both parties. It's also the story of true love; and that occasionally happily ever after does happen. The road to true happiness is often long and hard but sometimes along the way you find something unexpected. And sometimes Mr. Right comes in the form of an extremely talented tattoo artist with an attitude, sexy smile, and kind heart.

Chapter 2

Present Day

These tattoos are special; they all are symbols for something. I love them all, they mean a great deal to me. When you don't feel beautiful on the outside, you do what you can to fix that, like decorating a house. You try to hide pain, like imperfections on a wall. When the needle hits your skin whether it be from a piercing or a tattoo it causes the emotional pain to be capped off. That pain no longer oozes through you, it's eased briefly.

My first tattoo, was awesome I remember it crystal clear. I got a simple flower on my ankle, I was almost turned on, and the feel of the needle on my skin I loved it. It was over way to quickly. I love that adrenal, almost high feeling, I wanted, needed more.

My tongue piercing came next, then very few people had it done, I wanted to be different, rebel against the norm, I still long to do that. The music that was playing in the background almost numbed all of my senses. The clap on my tongue, cause my knees to be weak slightly, my breath hitched, if you didn't know better you would have thought I was making out with the Alice.

The slight sting and sweet burn of the needle pushing through the center of my tongue, caused butterflies in my stomach and my head to feel dizzy and light, I felt high, floating. I loved it! I love to run the ball over my lips and click it against my teeth, the whole experience was spiritual to me.

Next was the nipple ring, I opted to have both done. Edward stood over me and without reservation or any embarrassment I whip my shirt and bra off and sit there naked from the waist up. The air caused my nipples to harden immediately. He got all the stuff together and then he flicks my nipple hard so it puckers even more; I was turned on and again high on the adrenaline rush. He put he clap on my right nipple and grabbed the needle, as it pushed through the tissue, I could hear it rip through the fibers and repeated the process with the left. For some reason it was almost erotic to me. Again I had sting followed by some pressure and that sweet burn as he put the cute little rings in my nipples with the purple ball in the center of each. I loved it immediately and felt it made my breasts, look ten times more appealing to the eye. At this point I was starting to think, I may have some serious mental issues. But if I can keep the girl that adores piercings and tattoos and black, and punk, and Docs, at bay, then maybe I can pretend to me normal... I have always had the brains, made the grades, did the smart thing and I hated it. I love chaos, I thrive on it. Yet, my life seems so ordinary.

That girl the chaotic one screams from inside, she wants out desperately. She clings to hope. All of her closes friends are there in her mind. Some days she believes she is insane. She reads a lot; there she can escape her normalcy. She can be engulfed by the character's lives, their surroundings, be come part of their world. She has been pretending to be normal for so long, being herself scares the hell out of her. Everyday she feels like something is missing, something else she should be doing with her life.

You know the chaos is calming to her mind; her mind does not work like the normal mind. She can think more clear under stress. There are 2 worlds she lives in; reality and the wonderful life she has created in her head. She can be free there; she is beautiful, smart, talented, and desired. Most days she would be perfectly content to isolate herself from everyone, and just be in her own world. In her mind, she can do what she wants, say what she wants, and be who she wants and doesn't have to answer to anyone but herself.

Chapter 3

It was Tuesday morning; typical Forks, Washington weather cloudy and a light mist was falling. Mike was up already. He managed Newton's Surplus for his parents. It had camping equipment, fishing supplies, boating supplies, anything involving outdoorsy type stuff. Bella worked there 2 days a week, that's all Mike would allow. Mike felt women should be at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of the man of the house. He was somewhat old fashioned; at least that's what she told her self. He was stable and reliable. Yet for some reason it always felt like something was missing.

She made up her mind that she would start taking art classes in Port Angeles. She has always loved to draw and write but for the last 2 ½ years with Mike she had given all that up, but she was determined no longer. She knew in the back of her mind this might mean the end of her and Mike, but she didn't really seem to mind and that was frightening.

Bella stretched, and ran her hand through her knotted up mahogany colored hair. She paddled to the bathroom and turned the shower on hot, the feel of hot water on her skin felt like it was burning and washing away all the regret, pain, and heartache away.

Bella stepped into the shower and let the scalding water flow over her skin. She stood there for the longest time, trying to think how she was going to reclaim her life. She couldn't believe she had let things go so far and lost herself in the process. The water started to cool a bit so she quickly washed and conditioned her thick wavy hair. She grabbed a thick pink cotton towel and wrapped it around her, tucking it under her arms and grabbing another towel for her hair. Mike was standing in the door way when she opened the bathroom door.

Looking down at her Mike chuckled a little, kissed her cheek and told her "later babe". He shouted over his shoulder he wanted steak and potatoes for dinner see you around 5pm. Never did he ask ,always an order, never any romance or adventure, that's why she loved to read and also why she had a complete alternate world made up inside her head.

She was looking forward to starting some art classes in Port Angeles. She was well aware of the fight she would be having with Mike if and when he found out. But she had to try, try and do this for her, she felt like she was slowly dying. She never thought she would get over the rape, but some days it's not so bad and the nightmare are a lot less frequent. She does still feel sad and sickened to think her dad didn't believe her.

She didn't have friends anymore Jessica and Angela were single and Mike felt it wasn't right for her to hang out with single girls. Bella only had herself right now, her relationship with her father was strained since the incident and Mike well he just wanted a maid he had sex with occasionally. Her dad loved Mike, but he wasn't a good judge of "good guys", he thought Jake was great and look what he did. She was an only child and her mother left years ago.

Bella's mom, Renee had left when Bella was about 7; Renee had decided she didn't want to be tied down in a small town with a child, so she moved across the country to Florida. She met a guy 6 years younger than her. She was 27 and he was 21, he didn't want kinds, so they partied and drank and never looked back. Bella would get crazy calls from time to time, but they were very random and once Bella started high school, the pain of knowing her mother didn't really want her, was too much so she refused all contact. Then during Bella's senior year her mother died in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. Bella cried one lonely tear and that was it, to her, her mother had been dead and gone for years. Bella has always felt guilt about not trying harder with her mother or trying to force a relationship. Now she regretted not knowing who her mother was, but her life seemed to be full of regrets, as they say life isn't fair.

Bella threw on some dark skinny jeans, a wife beater, and her old Forks Spartan hoodie and grabbed her beat up messenger bag with her sketch pads and art supplies and headed to Port Angeles. She climbed into her red Jeep Wrangler and was on her way. Her stomach was doing flip flops; she was nervous, excited, and a little scared.

She pulled into the parking lot and found a spot. Class started in 20 minutes. She had used money from her mothers' death to pay for the class, Mike was unaware of the account, if he knew, he would want a detailed account of how she spent every dime. He is so controlling she couldn't believe it took her so long to come to this realization. She willed herself to suck it up and went into the art building.

She took a seat close to the back hoping to remain invisible, but this thin, ball of untamed energy, pixie of a girl with tattoos and peircings bounced through the door and plopped down beside her. She introduced herself as Alice and went on to tell Bella they were going to be great friends. Bella kept looking down and nervously replied "sure". Bella was thinking to herself how this girl was probably a lot of fun but Mike would never allow her to become friends with her.

Class went by quickly and Alice would lean over from time to time and comment on Bella's sketch. She thought Bella was a natural artist. Bella was contemplating going home or checking out the library first when the little pixie asked if, Bella wanted to run to the shop, she needed to pick something up and maybe they could grab something to eat. Bella could figure out why this odd beautiful pixie of a creature wanted to be friends with her, plain, unattractive, stupid, clumsy Bella. Bella did have to admit she was curious about what kind of shop the little one worked at. Bella reluctantly agrees to ride with her, since she wouldn't stop pleading and giving her the puppy dog look.

Bella and Alice hopped into Alice's restored 1967 red Mustang fast back. Bella thought to herself, what an odd car, for such a unique girl. Alice went on and on about the shop and how Bella would love it and she knew the gang would love her. She also kept going on about how she and Bella were going to be best friends. Bella couldn't get a word in, she finally spoke up and confessed she didn't have any friends. Alice told her that was crazy, then she smiled and stated correction you have at least one friend.

The shop looked like it had just opened and in the large front window was a flashing neon sign, "Twilight's Breaking Dawn." What an odd name, she thought. Bella was a little scared and didn't know quiet what to think.

They walked through the door and Bella's mouth gaped as she took in the body art on the walls, the walls were painted bight red; there were black and white prints of tattooed flesh hung among the black framed tattoo flash, there was a counter to the right of the door, and there were 3 rooms on the far wall behind the counter, there was a couch and a few chairs on the left side of the room and a coffee table with photo albums stacked on it. There also appeared to be a tattoo station, in the middle of the room towards the back, and another 2 doors passed that, which she assumed one was a rest room and the other was likely the stock room.

Alice was dragging Bella by the hand to the first door on the right, there was a large bear of a man, with dark hair and warm brown eyes manning the counter, other than that the place looked empty.

Once inside the little room, Alice told Bella she did body piercing and she recommended Bella get a couple more piercings up her ear, maybe even an industrial. Bella couldn't help but think this was all overwhelming. She had never been in a tattoo shop before, and she had no idea what a industrial piercing was, it sounded scary.

A voice came booming from the other side of the door, wanting to know who Alice had in there with her. The bear of a man from the front counter barreled through the door. Alice introduced Bella to Emmett, who apparently was one of her brothers' best friend. Alice went on to say that Edward and his best friend, Emmett, just opened the shop and she was working there while taking some art classes. She wanted to be a fashion designer of sorts, she wanted to design tattoo inspired lingerie, someday.

Bella felt so out of her element, she was used to be around only Mike or her dad and occasionally Jessica or Angela but that was all very low key. These 2 were fidgety and so full of energy. Alice noticed Bella's hands shaking and her nervous stare, she also realized Bella had barely said 2 words.

She grabbed Bella's hand and headed for the door, yelling over her shoulder that they had to get back to school. On their rushed way through the main area of the shop, sitting at the counter was this beautiful man, working on something very intensely. Bella thought he looked like a model, only with ink and piercings. He had tasseled bronze hair with golden highlights, he had a strong chiseled jaw line, his upper body had some definition, but not like Emmett. She could see bold colors peeking out from under his rolled up shirt sleeves. He had several ear piercings in both of his ears, a lip ring, and maybe a tongue ring he was clicking something while concentrating on the sketch pad in front of him. He looked up from his work and Bella was met with the most amazing emerald green eyes, Bella almost tripped.

Alice called out as they rushed by, "Edward, Bella, Bella Edward, she's a friend from my art class, we have to get back, see ya."

Bella was sitting in the passenger seat shaking, with a glazed look in her eyes, which had Alice a little worried.

"Bella, are you alright? What's wrong? Please talk to me."

Bella could even get her voice to work; silent tears started flowing down her cheeks. Then out of no where her word vomit ensued and Bella began to spill all.

"Mike will be so mad, I don't even know what he will do if he finds out I was in a tattoo shop."

"Bella, I don't understand is Mike your dad?"

"Mike is my boyfriend for the past 2 ½ years and we live together. He doesn't know I am taking a class. He doesn't like me to go anywhere without him. I can't have friends or even wear make-up; he doesn't want me to look like a whore. I am not allowed to have a real job I work 2 days a week in his family's store. I am expected to clean his house and make his dinner. He will be so mad, this was a big mistake, please take me to my car."

Alice drove Bella to her car and asked her if she was going to her other class. Bella began to sob and stated she had to get home and get Mike's dinner before he got home. She thought she was ready, but she wasn't, with that she jumped in to her Jeep and headed back to Forks, and back to her controlled life of sadness and dissatisfaction.

Alice couldn't help but think how fucked up this poor girl was. She also thought someone must be doing a real number on her if she was this afraid to even speak to people. The more Alice thought about it the angrier she got. She couldn't believe someone could be so cruel to another human; to force a person to live in fear of life, when obviously that person is a butterfly wanting to spread her wings. Alice had this ability to read people and almost predict the future. She knew Bella would be good friends with her and the rest of the group, there was just something special about her. Alice could see the person deep within Bella screaming to get out. Alice was determined that she would help this lonely scared girl realize her full potential.

Chapter 4

It was 2:30 p.m. when Bella pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, she had 2 ½ hours before Mike would be home, hopefully she could calm her nerves. She had put the steaks in the marinade earlier that morning, she was going to make some roasted potatoes and a salad. She walked through the apartment and took her bag and stuck it in the back of the closet where Mike wouldn't find it. She glanced at the liquor cabinet and decided a shot of Grey Goose would make her feel better, this was becoming a habit when things were too much to handle, she would down a few shots to take the edge off.

She quickly prepared dinner and was putting everything on the table when Mike walked through the door, he didn't even look at her, he just demanded a beer and plopped down in front of the T.V. grumbling about some game coming on. He then proceeded to tell her to bring him his dinner in front of the T.V. Bella sat at the dinning room table alone and picked at her food. She was feeling bad about running away from Alice and even worse that she had let her life become this.

Mike was yelling something about needing another beer and that he and Tyler were going to the hunting cabin for a long week-end, he was leaving early Friday morning and they would be back Sunday afternoon. He went on and on how he thought Bella should go and stay with her father so someone could keep an eye on her. Bella somehow managed to convince him she would be fine for a few days, she needed to clean out the closets, anyway. She was thankful she needed the time to get her mind straight and figure out where her life is really going.

That was Tuesday, Wednesday dragged on she was actually getting anxious, and almost excited about seeing Alice again, she hoped she hadn't scared Alice off by her breakdown on Tuesday. Thursday morning came and Bella threw her hair up in a loose pony tail and slipped on her favorite jeans with 2 small tears above her right knee and a blue sweater, with her worn black and white chucks. She grabbed her supplies and was out the door quickly after Mike drove off. She headed toward the community college in Port Angeles, she was going to be early but she was hoping to run into Alice, so she could try and talk to her. It had been so long since she had, had a conversation with someone other than Mike or her dad; it felt good talking with another female.

It was late September, and the temperature was slightly cool, there was a nice breeze blowing. Bella sat on the steps out front of the art building working on a sketch of some lilies intertwined with vines. She was so engrossed in her work; she jumped a little when she felt the pixie's arms wrapped around her in a hug.

"Bella I wasn't sure you would come back. I am so sorry, I scared you. I am so used to being around my brother and his friends and all the tattoos and piercings, so nothing freaks me out, any more."

"Alice, it was all me. There are things you don't understand, things that are hard for me to explain. Let's put it this way I have a few issues."

Bella was so nervous, but she wanted to share this with Alice, no she needed to share it.

"Alice can we go somewhere after class and talk?

"Sure, that would be cool!"

Class was uneventful. Bella's mind kept going over and over about what exactly she was going to say to Alice.

"OK! Bella I'm ready. I'll ride with you; we can go to the coffee shop across from the tattoo shop. You can drop me off there after we talk; I'm going to hang out for awhile Edward can bring me back to my car."

Edward, Bella hadn't thought much about him until now. He was a beautiful specimen of a man. Who definitely wouldn't be interested in her plain, ugly, damaged Bella, I don't even deserve my name. Bella should be given to someone with beauty either inside or out and right now both her insides and outsides felt pretty ugly.

Alice and Bella sat at a table in the back of the coffee house sipping lattes, Bella began to tell Alice her story:

I have always been smart, but I have never felt like I was much to look at. I have always been able to draw and write but have never had much encouragement from anyone. My dad is police chief and always busy with his work, my mom didn't like to be tied down, so she left when I was little. She died several years ago in a car accident.. Mike sort of latched on to me in high school, I was shy and introverted. But we didn't really date until I started working at his parents' store.

My dad forced me to get a job after 6 months of shutting myself down and basically hoping I would disappear.

You see in high school I wasn't social I had a couple of girl friends, went on a couple dates. The summer after I graduated, I was so excited I was going off to the University of Seattle, I had a full 4 year scholarship because of my art and my GPA. I was partying with some friends down at the Indian reservation, near La Push. My dad's best friends son was there Jacob, we practically grew up together. He had always had a thing for me but I was adamant about just remaining friends. Jake's friends were there, Quil and Embry as well as some girls from school, we were all having fun. Then Jessica got sick so Angela drove her home and Jake assure them he would drop me off. The rest is kind of the night was a hazy blur; we were all squeezed into Jakes' truck, Quil and Embry kept rubbing my legs. We pulled over and I remember Jake throwing me over his shoulder, I had been drinking so I was exactly sure about my surroundings. Jake threw me in the grass, Quil held my legs and Embry held my arms, I was screaming and crying and trying to fight. I was a virgin, saving myself for someone special. Jake told me I was his and no one would want me after this, he ripped my clothes and I am sure they all took turns. I just tried to block everything out.

They left me there, I stumbled home bloody and sore, my clothes ripped and covered in dirt. Of course my dad was up when I walked through the door and took me to the ER. When I tried to explain to my father what happened, he was convinced that I was protecting someone and using Jake and his friends as scape goats. He thought maybe I had, had too much to drink and things went too far with some guy I really liked. The boys wore condoms so there was no DNA evidence, and I had been around them all night I slipped and I grabbed on to Jakes' arm so there would have been skin under my nails, nothing could be proven except I had "rough" intercourse recently. My father acted like I had done something to provoke the attack, like I wanted this to happen.

After that I shut down, I mean completely! I didn't talk to my dad, I didn't talk to anyone. I decided not to go to college, I was afraid to be alone, afraid of the dark. Mike started to come around and he seemed gentle and believed in me, so after 2 years of being friends we moved in together. That is when things changed, he knew about the rape, but forced himself on me constantly, even if I begged and cried, he would tell me it was my responsibility, to take care of him in every way. It was like I was his possession, he would tell me what to think, wear, say; life was easier if I didn't fight. I tried to be numb to everything, drink as much as I could and block all emotion from my mind, except when I draw or write then all of the emotions bubble to the surface, it's hard to keep them pushed down. Then about a month ago I looked in the mirror and realized I was no longer Isabella Marie Swan, I was just Mike's girlfriend. I felt sick. I was tired of being miserable and still alone and in the dark. So, I decided I wanted to find myself. It is so hard, I have been doing this for so long; I'm scared I'll fail, I'm scared I'm not strong enough, or good enough, or pretty enough. What if I don't know what to do, I have no one, I'm all alone. I worry that love doesn't exist and if it does will I ever find love? Anyway, who would want plain, broken, Bella?

Alice's eyes were full of tears; she reached out and squeezed Bella's hand.

"Good Lord Bella you have been through a great deal. But I'm here for you. I can see the real you trying to break free and spread your wings like a beautiful butterfly. I will stand behind you and not judge you, you need to socialize more. You need to try and trust people, they aren't always bad."

Hearing those words from Alice scared Bella, but also gave her hope. She so desperately wanted a friend so she would no longer be alone in the world.

"Bella come hang out at the shop with me. You can meet Emmett and Rosalie and Edward, and Jasper my boyfriend, it will be fun."

Bella weakly replied that Mike would be home at 5pm and would freak if she wasn't home. But asked if she could get Alice's number because Mike was going away for the week-end. Alice clapped her hands and said sleep over Friday night then we can go out after we close the shop.

"Alice I've never "gone out" before. I don't even know what to do or wear."

"Leave it all to me Bella, Trust me! Text me when you are headed this way, ok?"

Bella, dropped her other class, she thought she should ease into this. After her talk with Alice she raced home to get dinner ready and pack a bag for Mike. He had said he wanted to get on the road early Friday morning; Tyler was picking him up around 5 a.m.

Chapter 5

Bella got home around 3 p.m., packed a bag for Mike. She took the lasagna out of the freezer; she made it Wednesday to keep her busy. She threw some crackers and snacks into a small box and placed it by the door next to the small cooler. Mike got home and looked pleased that Bella had got stuff together for his trip. They ate dinner quietly. Mike made the occasional comment about hoe great the weather was supposed to be and they were taking Tyler's' fishing boat with them so they could hit the lake and bring back tons of fish.

They sat on the couch together, not talking, each of them in their own separate world.

Bella was thinking about meeting up with Alice tomorrow night. And Mike was thinking how he could get a blow job out of Bella right now, while he finished watching Star Trek.

"Bella, baby I'll be gone for 3 days. I need you to take care of me; I think you should put your mouth on me. Bella, I am not asking!"

Bella felt sick, defeated. Her shoulders slumped she looked at the floor and went to kneel between Mike's legs. She slowly unzipped his pants, her stomach lurched. She took him into her mouth as silent tears escaped her eyes; she felt bile rise up her throat and fought to push it back down. Mike grabbed her hair tight and pushed her head down hard; she was gagging and trying to use her hands, but he grabbed and held them tight with one hand. He forced his length to bump into the back of her throat again and again until he came, spilling his seed down the back of her throat. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom to try and wash the smell and taste of him from her. Mike's head was back his mouth was open and he was snoring. Bella went over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed the Grey Goose and took to big gulps and went to take a scalding hot shower to try and wash all the dirt off her and from her hair where Mike's hands had been.

She got into the bed, after setting Mike's alarm because if she forgot he would be pissed at her. Her sleep was restless. She had the same nightmare as usual, she's in the woods, Jake is kneeling between her legs ripping at her jeans, and she's screaming; but then someone takes her hand and pulls her away from the boys and they are running fast, she can't see his face, just his back. She wakes up at 6 a.m., Mike is gone, no note, no nothing.

She laid there and contemplated just blowing Alice off, but she looked so excited, when she had agreed to meet her. Oh and hell, she needed to get away after last night she was feeling lower than low. Maybe being somewhere else would ease the pain. Her wrists were sore this morning she looked down to see finger prints were Mike had held her hands, just great she thought. She stretched and got up and took her sketch pad to the table to work on something and pump some caffeine into her. She couldn't concentrate on drawing, so she wrote:

The heart searches and falls.

Can' t you see I'm closed in by these 4 walls?

Your eyes could melt the stone,

Yet, I would still be alone.

Your hand is my rope.

Your smile is my hope.

The 4 letter word is running through my head,

I remember every word you said.

A heart on the mend is a funny thing.

Some hearts can sing.

Eyes are windows to the soul,

Pain tends to take it's toll.

Safety in your arms,

Away from all the harm.

The tears come from time to time.

I don't know if I can make all the words rhyme.

What's to gain,

When tears fall like rain?

LOVE is a 4 letter word,

She got up cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, ran the vacuum, did 3 loads of laundry and had a sandwich, it was 2:30. She jumped in the shower and then sent a text to Alice;

On my way, should be about 1 hour – B

Great, I'm so excited! Everyone can't wait to meet U. I'm at the shop, do u remember how 2 get here? – A

Yes, see u soon. – B

Bella drove to Port Angeles, she was very nervous. She hadn't been around people in a social setting in a long time. Alice reassured her everyone was really cool. Bella parked the jeep on the side of the building and walked around to the door of Twilight's Breaking Dawn tattoo studio, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Edward was standing at the counter, their eyes met and she felt immediately hot all over, she felt the heat wash over her face and quickly looked down. Alice bounced out of the back and hugged Bella tight, whispering in her ear that she was ok, we are all friends, deep breathes. Alice could tell Bella had been holding her breathe.

"Bella, this is Edward my brother he does most of the tattooing here, he likes to draw like you. The big guy over there is Emmett; he is Edward's best friend. I think you sort of met them the other day. They own the shop together. Emmett also owns a club 2 blocks over with Jasper, my boyfriend. The bar is called Eclipse, that's where we are headed later. Jasper is there working, and Emmett's girlfriend, Rosalie will meet us there."

Edward kept glancing at Bella while she doodled in her sketch pad, and Alice rambled on about clothes, make-up, and hair. Bella couldn't figure out why Edward continued to glance at her with this constipated look on his face.

Bella leaned over and whispered to Alice that she didn't think Edward liked her, "whenever he looks at me he looks pissed." Alice laughed and told her that was just Edward trying to play "the bad boy" don't pay him any attention.

Chapter 6

EPOV

Alice brings this girl into the shop, she's sexy but doesn't realize it. She has these large chocolate brown eyes which reflect fear, just below the surface and something else deeper. She's nervous; she walks around with her tail tucked between her legs, like an abused puppy. I saw the hand prints on her wrists, which meant someone was being rough with her. I wondered if she liked that or not. She looked fragile; she was about 5'4" and maybe 105lbs. She had the most beautiful porcelain skin, it made me salivate, I wanted a chance at that blank canvas. She had small perky breast, great legs, and a hot heart shaped ass. She was slightly clumsy almost tripping over her own feet. You could tell she had no self confidence and I couldn't help but wonder how someone could take this beauty and make her believe she was something less. My stomach turned at the thought of someone mistreating her. I couldn't believe I was feeling like this about someone I didn't even know. I was not that type of guy, I don't catch feelings. For some reason I felt something pulling me towards this girl, I wanted to get closer and learn about her.


Alice dragged Bella into the piercing room. Alice was bouncing around like a fairy on Red Bull and Pixie Sticks. She was so excited about "making over" Bella, as she called it. Alice asked Bella if she wanted a piercing. Bella chuckled and said "baby steps, Alice, I just agreed to go out, after not being around people for years". Alice smiled and said under her breath "you'll let me later".

Alice began to pull out several outfits for Bella to try on; one was black skinny jeans and a red tank top and black knee high boots, the next thing was a tiny silver dress, that barely covered anything, the last ensemble was fitted leather pants, a navy blue top that barely covered Bella's breast, you couldn't wear a bra, there were tiny straps that went across the back that held it in place, and gorgeous black peep toe heels with a navy bow on the heel. Alice and Bella both agreed that the leather pants were the way to go, the navy top caused her skin to appear almost translucent. The pants hugged her tiny body, so she had to go commando and braless, she was feeling very naked this evening. Alice swept her hair into a loose twist and gave her some long silver dangle earrings and a few black bracelets on her right arm. Alice then brushed a hint of pink over her cheeks, and a dab of mascara on her lashes, and pink strawberry lip gloss. Alice looked at her and hugged her tight and said perfection.

Bella looked at herself in the mirror and thought she looked like someone else, someone almost pretty and for tonight she would try to be someone else someone confident and fun. Alice quickly got ready; she ran some styling product through her black short spiky hair. She lined her sparkling blue eyes with black eyeliner and finished with black mascara, she smoothed some bright red lipsticks across her lips. She put large pink hoop earrings in her bottom holes; she had about 10 small silver hoops lining the shells of both ears. She had on black leggings, a black tank top with the word Bitchin pink glitter across her chest, she completed the look with a hot pint flouncy skirt and black stilettos. She glanced at herself in the mirror and simply stated wonderful as always.

It was 8:30 p.m. when were emerged from the piercing room. Emmett was standing by the counter with a tall thin blonde man with shaggy hair and blue eyes. Alice's eyes lit up and Bella knew this must be Jasper. Emmett stated that Rose would meet them there, but they had to wait for Edward he ran home to change.

Edward walked through the door wear tight dark jeans that accented everything! He had on worn black Docs and a fitted white Sex Pistols t-shirt, it clung to his abs and arms you could see the ink on his arms and neck. Bella couldn't help but think he looked hot as hell, looking couldn't hurt she was bold Bella tonight. But then all those feelings came rushing back to her, she's not pretty enough, he wouldn't look at her twice.

EPOV

Good Lord what had Alice put on this girl. She was standing there with skin tight leather, painted on her shapely legs, her ass looked almost edible, and for the love of God, she wasn't wearing any panties. As my eyes scanned up her body she had this shiny blue tiny piece of fabric covering her breast, held on by two tiny strings across her back, and yep, no bra! Her hair was up exposing the pale creamy flesh of her neck, I wanted to run my tongue across it! Was Alice trying to kill me, I felt my pants become a bit tighter! I must have been standing the ogling her with my mouth open, because I realized Alice had been trying to say something to me.

"Edward, doesn't Bella look great! She's hot, huh?"

All I could manage to get out was "Uh huh!" The girl had me at a lost for words, which never happens. I am usually the one who dazzles the ladies.

Emmett decided to drive his Hummer; of course Jasper yelled shot gun so I was stuck in the back with the ladies. Alice made Bella sit in the middle, and occasionally her leather clad thigh would brush against mine; I could feel sparks shoot from where the contact was and my jeans became uncomfortably tight, I tried to shift and relieve some of the pressure. But nothing helped, I was starting to panic and feel closed in. Bella's tiny nervous voice asked me if I was ok, all I could do was nod yes while starring into her eyes. She seemed to calm me. There deep in her eyes, I could see it, the fear, the sadness, and defeat she looked so lost and alone. I realized she must be out of her comfort zone and scared to death. I vowed to try and not be my usual asshole self.

BPOV

Why was Edward so fidgety? My God when our eyes meet it was like he was looking at my soul and reading my thoughts, like he knew my fears. It was scary. But when his leg brushed against mine it felt like electricity running through my veins, shooting to all my girly parts. She wanted to flirt and smile and have fun but she didn't even know how. She almost felt safe around him, like there was something pulling her to him.

Alice was jumping around yelling we are here, she was so damned excited. Bella slipped getting out of the Hummer and Edward caught her around the waist and steadied her on her feet.

"Careful, you ok?"

Bella looked up with crimson staining her cheeks and told Edward how sorry she was and immediately looked down at her feet. She acted as if someone was going to yell at her or make fun of her.

"Anytime" Bella swore she heard him mumble something about beautiful and a damned shame as a frown creased his brow.

Bella glanced at him out the corner of her eye watching him walk through the bar, she was sure the corner of his mouth curled up in a crooked sexy smirk.

Chapter 7

Bella was thinking some liquid courage would help her feel more at ease. She went up to the bar and slammed 2 shots of Grey Goose. She was having fun even though she was feeling very nervous and slightly frightened. Slightly frightened because she had really enjoyed the way Edwards' arms felt around her, she almost felt giddy, she hadn't felt that way since she was a young girl.

Alice shouted to Bella, "What's your poison?"

Bella replied "Cosmo". Bella was feeling more relaxed now after several shots and several cosmopolitans.

Emmett decided to get lemon drop shots for everyone. Bella watched Emmett curiously, he licked the side of Rose's neck and sprinkled some sugar along the trail his tongue had left and placed the lemon wedge between Rose's teeth. Emmett then licked the trail of sugar slowly from Rose's neck, slammed the shot and fished the lemon wedge from between Rose's lips, running his tongue over her bottom lip before pulling away. Bella was thinking how hot and fun that looked.

Alice gave Bella a worried look, then realized everyone was waiting for Bella to go next. Bella started to shake a little because she wanted to lick Edward's neck, but she wasn't ready for that yet, but she did decide to be a little bold and wild. She grabbed Edward's wrist and ran her tongue along the dark ink there, sprinkled a little sugar on the spot she licked and handed Edward the lemon wedge to hold between his fingers. Bella licked the sugar, threw back the shot, and sucked the lemon wedge from his fingers, sucking lightly on his finger tips before pulling away.

She couldn't look at him, she was so nervous; she was worried he was upset. But Edward brushed the strands of hair that were lying on her neck to the side and ran his tongue from her collar bone up to behind her ear and whispered "that was hot but now I'm taking my shot."

Bella's pulse quickened and she felt moisture pool between her legs. Edward sprinkled sugar along the long slick trail from her collar bone to behind her ear. He placed the shot in her cleavage and handed her the lemon wedge. He leaned and in a low husky voice asked her if she was ready. Bella nodded her head and Edward licked the sweet trail up her neck, and whispered in her ear that she tasted so sweet he didn't even need the sugar. Bella's knees felt weak, she had never felt like this before. Edward then leaned down sucked the shot glass from between her breast and plucked the lemon from her dainty fingers letting his tongue ring graze the tip of her thumb.

Bella's heart was pounding in her ears and her pants became soaked. Bella smiled shyly up at Edward and then quickly looked down at her hands as she wrung them nervously and chewed on her bottom lip.

EPOV

I don't know why but I couldn't stand it any longer; the fact that she felt undeserving of my attention, oozed off of her. The way she carried herself her shoulders slumped over, always looking down, never making eye contact. I put my finger under her chin, and tilted her face up, so she would look at me and I told her she was beautiful to which she replied no and looked down at the ground again. I tilted her chin up and I saw unshed tears pooling in her eyes, her beautiful plump lip was quivering. I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd until we were outside where it was quieter and less crowded. I wanted to take her pain away, I have never cared about anyone except for my family this was all new to me.

"Bella, I don't know you and believe me I am all fucked up myself, but I am always honest, so I am going to be honest with you. I have always been good at reading people and I know what you are doing. Sweetheart you are too beautiful and smart to give up and try to fade away into the back ground."

"You think I'm pretty?"

"No! I think you are beautiful and sexy as hell!"

The sobs started and she cried and cried, I didn't know what to do. I don't do relationships, someone is always judging me on what I do, or how I dress, it's best to avoid emotions. I closed myself off years ago. But this beautiful fragile girl was clinging to me and I wanted to help her, heal her, and make her see her potential

"Bella, do you want me to take you home?"

"I'm staying with Alice."

"I'll let everyone know I'm taking you to her place, I have a key."

I ran in and told Alice that I was taking Bella to her place, and I would stay until Alice came home. Alice warned me that Bella had a lot of issues and not to go there, she saw the way I was looking at her. I reassured her although I thought Bella was fuckhot, I would not be trying to get into her pants.

We jumped into my Aston Martin Vanquish and headed for Alice's condo. I helped Bella in, she was shaking with a glazed look in her eyes. I thought to myself someone did a number on this chick, I felt bad for her.

"So do you need anything?" I promised Alice I would stay until she came home.

"Thanks."She looked down and I could tell she was embarrassed. She went and put on some sweats and an old Ramones t-shirt, which made me smile, and when she saw me smile, I swear the corners of her mouth turned up.

"Edward I feel like I …."

"Bella if you don't want to talk we don't have to."

"I want to try and explain….I don't usually feel comfortable with men not even my boyfriend. But you….well you make me feel safe…"

She turned red and dropped her head. She had a boyfriend? That was strange, why would someone that had this beauty be away from her and why wouldn't they try to build her up?

"Well Bella most people don't feel safe or calm around me. Most people are scared because of how I look… Most people think I'm some sort of ex-convict. You know most people judge the book by it's' cover."

"I can understand Edward but I can see the pain behind your eyes. I know how it is to push it down deep and block out all of your emotions; so you become numb and you just crawl through life in the dark. I have been in the dark for so long, but here with you I feel like I can see a glimpse of light, even if it won't last. I was so numb to life until I met Alice and decided I had to change things because Bella is dying and I would just become Mike's wife, eventually, and disappear into the back ground. I don't even like Mike, yet I stay, my dad likes him, my dad frustrates me."

"Bella, you don't have to tell me…"

"I want to Edward, it feels so good just to say these things that are in mind."

"Why don't you leave him?"

"It's not that easy. He doesn't let me leave the house. I had to beg among other things so he wouldn't make me stay with my dad this week end. If he knew I was out and was taking a class, he would probably beat the shit out of me. I know how rough he can be if I don't…"

She looked down at her wrists with the finger prints still faintly visible and blushed.

"I am so sorry, Edward, I feel like I can tell you anything, like I've known you forever."

"It's ok…..does he hit you?"

Chapter 8

EPOV

I was praying to God that she said no because I think I would have to find Mike and kill him. I felt bad for this girl, something must have happened for her to have this "boyfriend" that she lets treat her this way.

She looks so broken and let down and alone. I just want to tell her I'll protect her. I for one know what it's like to be alone and not accepted, and crushed. Bella continued to go on about this asshole and then she started bringing up the "incident" and no one believed her, but the asshole. I wondered what the incident was, but didn't want to bring it up. It must have been bad, she just sat there looking at me tears running down her face. I felt so lost in those chocolate reflecting pools of her soul. I didn't know what I should do, we really didn't know each other; do I hug her, I wanted to kiss her, take away her pain. I was starting to panic, I don't know how to console someone, I don't know how to be close to anyone. I felt drawn to Bella, I wanted to get to know her and that was scaring the fuck out of me…

Bella began to tell Edward how sorry she was for going on and on it just had been keeping all of this in for so long. And she met Alice and she was so nice, and she was not used to people being nice to her. Then Alice dressed her up and she almost felt pretty, almost felt normal, it was all so overwhelming. She apologized that she made him leave the bar early.

Edward told her it was no big deal, he rarely went to bars he was more a drink alone type. He also told her how fucked up it was, that someone would treat her this way. He also told her, he thought she was beautiful, and he had thought that the first time he saw her. He also stated that he felt she should get away from her boyfriend before something bad happened.

Just then Alice and the rest of the gang came through the door with a case of Corona in hand as well as a bottle of Patron and some lemons. Alice simply stated they were bringing the party back to the house, so Bella and Edward didn't have to miss out. Secretly Alice was worried about leaving Bella alone with Edward for too long. Alice poured everyone a shot of Patron and toasted new friends, out of the corner of her eye she saw Edward smile at Bella, and Bella smiled back she was very curious as to what had went on between them. They did several rounds of shots and they all started to ask Bella questions about school and her family. Bella was buzzed, so she went into her story with everyone, Alice and Edward already had an idea. Emmett and Jasper offered to go and kick Mike's ass and Alice and Rosalie told her she had to get away from him because things would only get worse.

Edward didn't say much, he looked deep in thought. It was now 3am, Rose and Emmett said good night and headed down the hall, to their condo. They all had condo's in the same building; Jasper and Edward were on the top floor, and Rose, Emmett, and Alice were on the third floor, Alice and Rose used to live together, until Rose was spending so much time with Emmett she just moved in, she is a catalog model anyway so she is always out of town. Jasper and Edward headed out shortly after Rose and Emmett. Edward kissed Bella's cheek and told her that it had been a pleasure meeting her and talking to her. Alice again couldn't help but wonder what went on between these two.

Bella made herself at home in Alice's spare room and her mind kept going over all the things her new friends had said. They actually seemed concerned, which was a new experience for Bella. She felt so comfortable among them, like she belonged; she never thought she would ever feel that way anywhere. She drifted off into a deep sleep.

Bella was roused from her sleep from the bright sun shining through the blinds, she frowned at the brightness. Her head hurt and her throat was dry. Last night was kind of a blur; she remembered telling everyone about Mike and talking with Edward. Good grief she couldn't believe she had had this long conversation with Edward and he had said she was beautiful. She felt her heart start to pound in her ears, which made her head throb more. She wondered down the hall and found the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and decided to jump in the shower since she didn't hear Alice up, yet. She stood there for along time her mind racing, hating the fact she was going to have to go home soon. She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a huge fluffy pink towel and wrapped it around her and then realized she left her clothes back in her room. She grabbed her dirty clothes off the floor and flung the bathroom door open; she was looking down at her feet and ran right into Edward's hard chest. She turned a deep shade of red and apologized and shuffled off down the hall. Edward shouted down the hall it was no problem, "anytime" chuckling to himself.

Edward yelled down the hall to Alice, he was there to see if we wanted to go to breakfast. Alice mumbled something about the ass crack of dawn and her beauty sleep. The clock on the night stand said 8:30 a.m., it was early. Edward then came and knocked on the door to the room Bella was in.

"Bella, wanna go get breakfast or coffee or something?"

"I don't know maybe I should wait for Alice."

"Come on I won't bite and besides she'll be asleep for hours.

"Ok, I guess."

EPOV

She was so unsure of herself. She looked so hot, coming just out of the shower, her thin legs, her creamy shoulders, and the way her wet wavy hair clung to her face was so sexy. The water caused her skin to glisten and that beautiful blush crept up her chest and across her face. She had agreed to go with me for breakfast, I don't know why I'm so excited, she does have a boyfriend. She did admit to not liking him last night. I just met this girl and I can't help but want to spend more time with her. I want to show her what it's like to be appreciated…Wait..What in the hell am I talking about? I don't believe in love or happily ever after. But this girl for some odd reason gives me hope, and makes me want to be one of those people.

BPOV

I can't believe I ran right into Edward, wearing only a towel, I could have just died. He looked so gorgeous this morning, his hair tousselled about his head. He had on a gray t-shirt and black jeans and a old pair of black and white chucks. I chuckled because we kind of matched; I slipped on my dark skinny jeans, a wife beater, my grey hoodie with the pink Hello Kitty on the back and my pink chucks. I love being here, I felt calm, not the usual nervous energy coursing through my veins, and the pain seems almost nonexistent when I am around these people.

I want to leave Mike, I never thought I would ever want that, but I do. Being around these people, my new friends, I realize life isn't that scary if you have good people around you. Now, can I be brave enough to tell Mike? I better hurry up Edward is going to wonder what I'm doing in here; I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and went out to meet him.

Edward and Bella walked 3 blocks down to a little diner on the corner. Edward said they have the best pancakes. Edward got buttermilk pancakes and sausage and Bella ordered strawberry pancake covered with strawberries and whipped cream. Edward chuckled watching Bella eat, she had a dab of whipped cream on the tip of her nose and he couldn't resist the urge to swipe it off and pop his finer in his mouth. He commented on how delicious it was. Bella turned 3 shades of red and smiled up at him through her long dark lashes. She went back to concentrating on her food. Edward noticed a worried look cross her face and she looked deep in thought.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"Hmmm, What?"

"I was just wondering what you were so deep in thought about."

"I don't think things can go back to the way they were. I don't know what to do."

Edward saw the torment and pain in Bella's eyes and he wanted to take it away so badly. Edward quickly paid the check and they made their way to the car. Silent tears were now streaming down Bella's face. Edward felt helpless, he didn't know what to do, how to comfort someone. They headed back towards Alice's place.

"Edward just take me to my car, it's by the shop. I need to get home."

"Bella you can't leave, not like this. Come talk to Alice, talk with me but please don't just leave all confused and upset."

"Edward, I am so confused and worried about what Mike will do…."

Then a song came on the radio, low in the back ground, it was her song. Bella knew all the words, it was like it was conveying what she was feeling inside. She stared directly into Edward's eyes and began singing in a low angelic voice;

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

A few lonely tears escaped down her cheeks, Edward could no longer resist he reached up and swiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. There were so many unspoken words floating around between them in the car.

They sat there for the longest time just staring at each other. Bella was amazed that he didn't say anything mean, or make her want to look away like usual. Edward was amazed that Bella actually made eye contact and has held it, she was staring deep into his soul and they seemed to be communicating without words. Edwards' mind raced, what do they do now? He couldn't let her go back to Mike. He wanted her around him, she calmed the anger that he tried so desperately to keep bottled up.

"Edward, where do we, I mean I go from here? I feel like I belong here among you guys, I feel like I belong here among Alice and her friends. But Mike is all I have ever known and I don't even know what to do. I am so scared, but scared mostly because I don't want to leave here and never feel again the way I feel now."

"Let's go talk to Alice, we will figure something out. Please don't worry; I won't let him hurt you anymore."

"Edward, I'm not sure why you are being so nice to me, but I don't deserve it. There is so much you don't know about me."

"Bella, I want to know. I'm not going to lie to you; I have a hard time getting close to people. I was adopted at 12, and then my mother Esme died, Alice and her were the only two I ever let get close enough. I have always felt that I am undeserving. I don't deserve a chance with you but I want one anyway. I know all I can ask for is friendship for now. But Bella, you make the darkness lighter and the pain in my soul more dull. I feel protective of you. I want to get to know you, I feel drawn to you. I am not usually like this, I don't usually announce how I feel but I am afraid I'll never see you again."

A smile crossed Bella's face. She was feeling brave and safe. Bella looked up through her dark lashes and shyly asked, "And just how do you feel, Edward?" Bella began chewing nervously at her bottom lip, still looking at him with wide eyes. Edward choked a little. He stammered, and mumbled about 'wanting to be friends' and his cheeks turned a pale pink.

Bella began to laugh; it felt so good to just laugh. She hadn't found anything funny in such a long time. She knew Edward was attracted to her, even though she couldn't image why. But to see him try and explain his intentions and then get embarrassed by his thoughts was priceless.

"Ok, Edward let's go see if Alice can help me figure out what to do."

EPOV

She wanted to know about my feelings, I could have pissed myself right there. I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling but I knew I didn't want it to be over. I also knew that I was attracted to her. This girl will be the death of me. I basically told her I would beat up her long time boyfriend, I have gone completely crazy.

When Bella and Edward arrived back at Alice's place was up fluttering about.

"I was wondering where you two went?" She gave an evil look to Edward.

Bella explained they went for breakfast and ended up talking for awhile. Bella was pacing back and forth in front of the window. Her anxiety level seemed to be up and down today.

Alice couldn't take it any longer, "Bella, SIT and try to relax! Edward, what did you do?"

"Alice it's not Edward, at least it's not what you are thinking.'

Alice nodded her head and waved Bella to go on.

"Alice I am so confused and kind of scared to go home now. I'm afraid he will know, and he will do something. I don't think I could handle people not believing me again. I feel so comfortable here among you all. I don't want to go back to my prison to fade away. You know, I used to want that until….."

Bella looked over to Edward and then quickly down at her hands, which she was wringing nervously. She could feel the heat wash over her face; she knew she was blushing as usual. She looked out the corner of her eye at Edward, who was red and shaking. She must have been lost in her own thoughts. She heard Alice telling him to calm down and relax, but she couldn't remember or understand what had him so upset.

Alice looked to Bella and asked her if she had told Edward about her, about all she had gone through and about her current situation. Bella quietly squeaked out, "not everything."

Bella started crying and shaking. Alice now had two situations to diffuse, Edwards' anger and Bella's' fear, who was she fucking Dr. Phil?

"Edward you need to calm down! Bella I'm not sure WHAT is going on with you and my brother but there are a few things you need to deal with. First of all you need to get rid of that piece of shit boyfriend… move out NOW! Second you need to tell Edward everything so he will understand why you react to certain things. You two are going to kill me with your up and down emotions. You both need to get your heads out of your asses, you are meant to be together, I can see that. So, you both need to get your shit together.

Edward and Bella stared at Alice with their mouths gaping.

Alice cleared her throat, "pick your jaws up off the floor. Ok, the first thing is to get Bella away from her evil ass boyfriend. Bella, didn't you say he was away until Sunday?"

"Yes he's away hunting and fishing."

"Perfect, I have a plan," Alice stated with and evil gleam in her eyes.

"Bella, we don't have a lot of time, we are going to get your things and you will stay her with me in the extra room. It's already 3:30 and it's about an hour drive to Forks. I'll call Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. This will work out perfectly I can just feel it."

"Alice, shouldn't I talk to Mike in person?"

"Bella from what you have told me about Mike, it's safer if you leave a note. He has your cell number, that way you won't have to face him alone, or talk to him rather. You'll have one of us around, one of your friends."

"I am so scared about this, I know Mike will find me and make me go back with him."

"Bella, none of us would let that happen."

Chapter 9

So Bella and her new friends drove to Forks to get her things and get her moved in with Alice. They spent the rest of Saturday moving her things and getting her settled into Alice's place. Bella didn't bring much, lots of books, photo albums, clothes, and some drawings and poetry she had written and that was it. She was going to make a fresh start.

Sunday around 2 in the afternoon Mike started calling Bella's cell phone. Finally after the 3rd time she answered it. Mike of course was demanding to know where she was and what she was doing. He warned that he was going to call her father because she was being crazy.

"Mike it's over! I can't do this anymore! I'm tired of the abuse and you forcing me ….."

"Bella, you are MINE, always. You can't leave me, I won't let you! No one else will ever want you, remember you are damaged goods! I felt sorry for you and took you under my wing. I promise you this when I find you and believe me I will find you, you will pray for death!"

Bella hung up the phone… She was trembling and tears cascaded down her cheeks. She just stood there staring out the window with a glazed over look in her eyes. Alice put her tiny arms around her shoulders and Bella began to sob. She kept chanting over and over that Mike was going to kill her. Alice couldn't help but think how frightened this girl must be.

Bella cried all night, and Alice sat with her holding her and rubbing her back. Bella couldn't help but think no one have ever cared before, not even her father. The sun illuminated the room, and it was like Bella broke through the water she was drowning in. She realized she couldn't allow Mike to scare her, or make her feel guilty for getting out and living her life. She deserved happiness. She loved Alice, she loved all these people, they barely knew her yet they took her in and took care of her. Then there was Edward. The way he looked at her, like she was special. He made her heart pound and her pulse race, it was new and exciting. She deserved it, she deserved love.

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