Not so little Red Riding hood

Disclaimer: I don't know who owns the original story I just know it's not me, I own only Gabriel.

Authors' note: I came up with this walking home in the rain one day and have finally mustered the courage to submit this, my first fanfic. I'm dyslexic so the spelling is a real problem for me but I've done my best so be nice!

Scene one: MUM!

At RRH's (red riding hood) house

Mum: You are going to visit your grandma!

RRH: No, I'm not!

Mum: Don't take that tone with me, young lady! You've put off visiting long enough!

RRH: There's no way I'm visiting that old cow again this century!

Mum: How dare you talk about your own grandmother like; don't you have any respect for your elders?

RRH: No, not much to tell you the truth. [In an offhand indifferent voice]

Mum: You. Will. Visit. Your. Grandma. [In a low, quite, voice though gritted teeth]

RRH: I told you before and I'll tell you again: there's no way in hell I'll visit that old witch!

Mum: [with an evil smile and a would be reasonable voice] If you don't visit your grandma your mobile phone will just have to visit me for the next month.

RRH: Muuuuum [in a drawn out whinny voice] I neeeeed it!

Mum: No what you "neeeeed" is to visit your grandma!

RRH: [With an angry sigh] Fine I'll go! [Sulkily] Not that she will appreciate it.

Mum: That's not the point.

RRH stomps off stage.

Scene two: The Danger of a stranger

In the wood.

RRH walks across the stage from the right and is met in the middle by the vampire who comes from the other side.

A/N: The vampire represents the wolf in this version.

Vampire: well, well, well what have we here? A girl all alone in the woods! Where are you headed dear?

The vampire freezes and Gabriel enters the stage

A/N Only RRH can see Gabriel so the vampire freezes oblivious to the pair. By the way imagine Gabriel has an extremely camp voice.

Gabriel: Don't answer him! Haven't I taught you anything?

RRH: [causally] nothing as far I can remember. [Then aggressively] Besides what are you doing here, nothing can make a bad job worse than your pesky guardian angel showing up.

Gabriel: Honestly girl sometimes you make me feel so unwelcome!

RRH: You're not welcome!

Gabriel: Don't talk to him; I don't like his teeth, there too [pause] 'pointy' [pulls face].

RRH: Your can't talk you've got bloody wings for goodness sake.

Gabriel: humph, I am an angel after all. Anyway good girls don't talk to strangers!

RRH: In that case I won't talk to you, piss off.

Gabriel: Things like that make me think you don't love me anymore!

RRH: oh I don't, you've been telling me what to do my whole life, I'm getting pretty sick of it.

Gabriel: I'm supposed to tell you what to do as a guardian angel it's in the job description, you know giving guidance.

RRH: Can I sack you?

Gabriel: No you can't unfortunately, or I would have quit this job a long time ago.

RRH: [sighs] In that case; I appreciate your 'guidance' but I've decided not to listen to it, sorry. Now don't stay were your not wanted!

Gabriel: Your words have wounded me deep inside [sniffs dramatically]. Fine dig your own grave, see if I care!

Gabriel storms off and the vampire unfreezes

RRH: [With a warm smile] I'm off to visit my grandma.

Vampire: And you have to walk through the woods to get there. [Raises eyebrows questioningly with a charming smile]

RRH: Oh yes, just down this path in fact.

Vampire: she lives alone?

RRH: Well yes.

Vampire: What a comfort your visit be to her, do you not wore about her living alone?

RRH: [Snorts sceptically] Oh someone could come and eat her for all I care?

Vampire: [Laughs delicately] I don't suppose she'd taste nice?

RRH: If she tastes as sour as her personality then defiantly not! Well I must be off, it's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

She leaves though the opposite door to the one she came in though, the vampire presently follows her off stage back the way he came.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the play so far. I've already written the first draft play so if there's a market I'll type up the rest. So if you're interested please leave a review requesting the rest and I'll comply as fast as I can. I'd really appreciate feedback, constructive criticism welcome but please don't flame out of spite.