"So what's this one about, D?" Russel sitting next to his bandmate. They were in the home theater at Kong Studios, and it was movie night. Usually Murdoc and Noodle would be joining them, but tonight's concert ran later. That meant Noodle was off to bed and Murdoc was still at the after party.
Russel was frankly surprised that 2D wasn't at the after party too, he was a bit of a pretty boy and tended to "hang out" with women after shows. Russel didn't really do that. He talked with plenty of fans backstage, sure, but he didn't party hard and pop pills and had sex with tons of women. Granted that was probably because he was gay, but that wasn't the point. The point was the biggest playboy of the year had a great show and now was watching a movie with him instead of partying like a rockstar.
"Oh it's great, it's a Zombie film about these two guys, yeah? Well they try an' find the cure for zombies and...well...let's just watch it. Don't wanna spoil anythin' for ya, Russ." He said excitedly.
Russel smiled at his enthusiasm. "That sounds great, let's get to it." Russel played the movie and sat back as the film began to play. He looked at 2D, smiling at the screen and waiting for it to start. He turned to Russel and Russel's eyes darted back to the screen.
2D did that when he showed him movies he had already watched, checking to see if he was reacting to it the same way he did. He thought it was cute. However, he thought most things about 2D were cute. He definitely had a crush on him at any rate, not that he say that to anyone (except maybe Del, who said he should 'lock him down while he still could'. )
"I really quite like this part, you see the guy and his mate are real close, yeah? This Lamar character is always risking his life for his friend, even if it's probably a stupid decision. He's loyal to the end. Wish I had a friend like that." 2D said. "But I guess who doesn't."
Russel smiled. "Well if means anything, if zombies were eating ya face, I'd beat them up." Russel said.
"Really? Even if they'd eat your face off too?" 2D said.
"Oh yeah. If you're losing your face? I'm losing my face too." Russel said giggling. "Plus you'd probably make not having a face a trend."
"Good thing we don't know any zombies." 2D said. "I quite like your face."
Russel didn't know how to react to that statement. It almost sounded like 2D was...flirting. He had to keep talking to avoid something awkward so he said, "Yeah we do."
"What? A zombie? What zombie do we know?" 2D said, thoroughly confused.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me Murdoc is not a zombie." Russel said.
2D laughed, "You're probably right, eh? Glad I got someone to protect me from him."
Russel liked it when 2D laughed. For a famous star that women fawned after, he was sure shy. He wasn't very confident and stuttered in interviews. It was rare to see him just laugh and be happy and relaxed. He feared sometimes that all this band stuff and popularity was getting to him. He was afraid that maybe one day his drugs and anxiety would kill him. Sometimes he just doesn't come home and he fears one day it will be because he's dead in some for now he was happy and safe which was enough.
"I really like how the red is all bright and the rest of the colors aren't as dominant. I fink it's something symbolic but I don't really know." 2D said. "I feel like I can only get step one, yeah? Like I notice things but I'm too dumb to understand it."
"That's not true. You're a genius with lyrics and you're a lot smarter than you giver yourself credit for." Russel said. "I didn't even notice that. Sometimes it's not about anything, anyway. Sometimes things just look cool."
2D nodded. "I guess that's true, yeah."
"And besides," Russel continued. "Art is in the eye of the beholder ya know? It's about what it means to you and how you interpret it that matters."
"Wow..." 2D said, "that's good." He said turning to Russel.
Russel smiled, "not just a drummer, am I?"
2D was quiet for a while before speaking up again. "Maybe it's because red is life and death, yeah? Red is blood and gore but it's also anger, passion..." he turned away from the movie to meet Russel's eyes "Love"
Russel stumbled for a second, trying to push out words. It's was hard to while looking at the intensity of 2D's dark eyes. "Y-yeah, Yeah, I get that. Red can signify death, but without it your a zombie. Very uh...deep." 2D may seem a little dull at first, but Russel knew that there's a great mind in there. He's just better at things he's passionate about.
"Yeah, I guess it is." 2D said proud of his words. "Also red is a good color"
Russel giggled and tousled 2D's hair playfully, "What you don't like blue?"
"Well I mean I didn't decide for it to be blue" he said smiling.
"What do you mean? You saying this is ya natural hair color?" Russel said in disbelief.
"Oh, guess I never told you. Yeah when I was real young I fell out of a tree and banged my head. My hair fell out and grew back blue." 2D said.
"That doesn't sound right, but you aren't really the type of guy to make shit up." Russel said. "Its not the craziest thing to happen, I mean have a rap group in my head."
"That's right...sometimes I forget that that happened to you."2D said. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that"
He sighed. "There's nothing to be sorry about." Russel said solemnly. "But thank you"
They watched the movie saying nothing for a bit, too afraid of the subject to speak.
"What's it like?" 2D said.
"What's what like?" Russel said.
"What's it like having other people in your head?" He said quietly.
Russel was surprised by the question. He sighed before answering, "Sometimes, like now, I can control it. I don't hear any voices, except Del and he gives me privacy...but other times..." Russel stopped. He took a breath before he continued, "It's like a sea of voices in my head, ideas, beats, screams for help, pleads to be let out or put to rest. Yes I get get ideas for songs or come up with the right beat, but it's downright painful. I hallucinate sometimes and I have nightmares almost every night. I watch my friends die and all the people I've hurt on accident suffer every night. I-I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but I have. I've caused pain and I-I feel so guilty. It is so overwhelming that I just-"
Russel was stopped by 2D grabbing his hand. Russel realized he was crying and he wiped away his tears. They kept holding hands, but neither mentioned it as they continued to watch the movie.
They watched the movie silently for a while, but something was still bugging Russel.
"D why aren't you at the after party?" He said, voice still a little shaky.
"Cause it it's movie night. " he said.
"I mean, yeah but...you're the party boy, the big shot. You're supposed to be out there getting girls and shit." Russel said.
"Well Why aren't you at the after party?" He said back.
Russel found it hard to respond, "Come on, D...you know why."
2D just stared at him questioningly. Russel said, "I mean...I'm not like you D, I'm not a fan favorite or pretty. I don't get the girls...or the guys for that matter! I'm just...the drummer." Russel deflated in his chair. "You have looks, you have talent and everyone just loves you instantly. I...I just faded into the background with my drum kit."
"I didn't know...I didn't know that you felt that way Russel." He said. Russel felt his hand grasp a little tighter.
"It's okay. I'm...fine. I'm fine." Russel said, trying to cool down.
"You have talent too, ya know?" 2D said. "You're the best drummer I've ever heard, yeah? And you do so much more than drums, you help with lyrics and you're a great sound editor." 2D was getting worked up. He almost sounded mad. "You do a lot of the remixes and synthetic noises."
"Thanks D" he said softly.
"An' you do have looks, okay? You're not ugly." 2D said.
Russel was very quite. What would he say to that? "Really?"
"Russel..." 2D said, looking very distraught. "You...y-your eyes. They're mesmerizing, they glow, but they're also soft and reassuring."
Russel tried to hide how much those words effected him. "Aw come on D...you don't have to-"
"No! No, I'm not done, okay? You have strong features, and you're the most comfortable person to be around." 2D said.
"Do you- "
"Yes I mean it." 2D said looking straight at him. He laid back in his chair.
Russel tried to just watch the movie, to just be silent and pretend that none of that happened, but it did.
"You never said why you weren't at the party." Russel said.
"Is it really that hard to believe that I just wanted to spend time with you?" 2D said.
He thought about it for a second. "A little, yeah." Russel said.
2D just sighed. "When I first watched this movie, I thought for sure that Lamar was the main character, yeah? He's strong, loyal, and is even funny despite his circumstances. But then ya get to the end and he dies. He's buried by his friend, and he doesn't get his happy ending, his feelings aren't addressed, he's just gone. He's so clearly the better character but he's thrown under the bus. He didn't get what he deserved."
"I thought you said you weren't gonna spoil it." He said.
2D put his hand on Russel's shoulder, they were face to face. "Russel...do you get what I'm saying?"
"Not really..." he said, trying to void eye contact.
"You're like Lamar. You're really under appreciated and it gets to you. Don't think I haven't seen it. You deserve to know that you're great." 2D said.
"...So you stayed back out of pity." Russel said pushing his hand off his shoulder.
"No. No, it's not pity. I just...AAH why is it so hard to explain!" 2D said. "I'm not at the party because I like hanging out with you. I want to make sure you're happy, and quite honestly that 'playboy rockstar life' isn't really that great." He put his hand back on his shoulder "I like hanging out with you, Russel. I like ...you."
"Why?" Russel said softly.
2D's hand moved to Russel's face. "Why not?"
He leaned in and their lips met. Russel was surprised and hesitated to kiss back, but soon got comfortable and leaned in. He put his hand on 2D's leg. After a few seconds, 2D was the one to pull away.
They looked at each other for a moment breathing hard. Then Russel began to laugh and his mouth curled into a smile. 2D smiled back. "Get it now?" He said.
Russel just shook his head playfully and went in to kiss him again. Russel felt the grin on 2Ds face through the the kiss and couldn't help but smile too. The kiss became more intense as 2D's hand slipped up Russel's back and under his shirt. It wasn't long before 2D was entirely on Russel's lap.
2D pulled away and whispered into Russel's ear. "Do ya wanna go to my room?"
"ummm nah. You're room is nasty. Let's go to my room." He teased.
They got up and fumbled down the halls giggling and touching each other softly. When they got to his room they walked in and 2D stopped. He was looking around Russel's room.
"Ha ha every time I walk in your room I feel like I can tell so much about you." He said wrapping his arms around Russel.
Russel reciprocated and leaned in closer. "That's a good thing?"
2D was right at his ear, "absolutely." He said, sending a shiver down his spine. From there he began kissing Russel's neck as he moved them backward to his bed.
2D took off Russel's shirt as well as his. He wrapped himself around Russel, just taking things slow and admiring his body.
"So is this better than the rockstar after parties?" Russel said.
"Way better." 2D said.
