I'm waiting.
Waiting, of course, is all I do.
I watch the green leaves turn red and fall.
It reminds me of my life, actually.
Isn't that sad?
What's more, I'm not alive.
Everything I see is so unreal it might as well be an illusion.
But it isn't.
Which is somehow worse.
I imagine people see me as some hero who died a heroic death.
It's ironic, really.
Sometimes I actually believe that if I had the chance to go back I would kill them all.
And then I immediately feel terrible about it.
I don't think I do.
I remember the days vividly.
We would sit outside and watch the stars on those crystal clear days without any worries.
It was perfect.
It was terrible.
Today, I think, I might go for a walk.
It will be through a woody area.
I will spend at the very least an hour.
Or two, or even three. I have indeed lost all sense of time.
No, I haven't. I just try to forget.
