I'm waiting.

Waiting, of course, is all I do.

I watch the green leaves turn red and fall.

It reminds me of my life, actually.

Isn't that sad?

What's more, I'm not alive.

Everything I see is so unreal it might as well be an illusion.

But it isn't.

Which is somehow worse.

I imagine people see me as some hero who died a heroic death.

It's ironic, really.

Sometimes I actually believe that if I had the chance to go back I would kill them all.

And then I immediately feel terrible about it.

I don't think I do.

I remember the days vividly.

We would sit outside and watch the stars on those crystal clear days without any worries.

It was perfect.

It was terrible.

Today, I think, I might go for a walk.

It will be through a woody area.

I will spend at the very least an hour.

Or two, or even three. I have indeed lost all sense of time.

No, I haven't. I just try to forget.