Disclaimer: Star Wars and its characters are property of George Lucas and Disney, not mine.
Notes: Slight (like minimum) Reylo. If you're not a fan of the ship and you're here just to flame this, return and never come back.
THE LADY SEA AND THE CONFIDENT SAILOR
Sometimes, when he remembers her, he wonders what she had done to him.
All of his life as Kylo Ren— no, his whole life, he had been in control. He had been the one who make the decisions, the one who ended the circle, he had been the one being able to take everything he wanted.
He had everything.
So of course, when he heard about a girl (a scavenger, nonetheless. And not just a simple one, no, that damned girl in Jakku of all people) that took the droid he thought of it almost as a joke. It would be simple, he had thought; he couldn't even take the droid and perhaps, he could end her, and everything he had been in the past.
Nothing would ever told him that, when he looked at her he fealt something that he hadn't felt in those years. Something he thought was buried along with the foolish Ben Solo, and that— that had been compassion.
But of course, he wouldn't admit that. Of course someone would felt pity for a girl in her position, of course some weak minded fool would feel the need to protect her, so he pushed those thoughts out, of his head, his body, and everything he was. He wasn't weak, Ben Solo had been weak and that boy had been long gone killed and from his rests, something much efficient was born. That being didn't have time for such things as compassion, less for a filthy scavenger.
But he had undermined her, he thought she was the same, defenseless little girl abandoned in the dessert that just tried to pull a fighter façade. She wasn't the first one, he had thought, and she wouldn't been the last. Ren almost wanted to smirk when he saw the face she pulled when he took off his mask.
He questions her about the droid, he doesn't even need to use force on her (yet) to get what he wants, it had worked in the past and if this time it doesn't, he would had to change to… more drastic measures. And of course, it doesn't. Perhaps, she likes to fight, and well, he wouldn't be the one to deny her that.
He invades her space, and it's not long before he finally uses the force to obtain what he needs from her. He see things, he had seen many but of all of them, he sees a big, wide ocean. He sees a man leaving his child, he sees a man that would rather run away than facing the prospect of being responsible and he stops right there because he had realized he's not seeing just her memories, but those of a child with dreams about saving the galaxy and a family that had been broken. He stops because he knows he might regret it.
Ren didn't hesitate in using it against her, he even mocks her as he mocks in the nigh the memories of that boy. He uses it because, in some ways, he wants her to go with her. He wants to know that the boy isn't alone, he doesn't want to be alone. He wants company, and a part of him knew she want it to. He wanted her to give in, he needed it.
But she didn't, the damned girl didn't.
So he finally used it, all he got on her and not only it didn't work, but backfired in all the ways possible. Not only he didn't got the map, but rather saw a boy who give up, a boy who had to find out the galaxy wasn't a place for foolish weaklings who dreamed to be heroes all on his own, and a boy who did everything to leave that behind. She had not only defeated him in his own game, but humiliated as well.
Snoke wasn't happy, of course he wasn't and so was Hux. Is then when Ren knows what he has to do, and for the first time, he isn't quite sure he wants to. In the end that doesn't even matter, and when he realizes, he's destroying the same chair that trapped Rey in a fit of rage. The scariest thing? He doesn't know if it's because is a way to drain the rage from Snoke scolding, or… or because he was alone all again.
Of course, he doesn't expect what comes next.
He almost wants to laugh at how Solo plays him, trying to appeal at the foolish boy that had been his son. Doesn't he know? Ben Solo was dead, not only Kylo Ren killed him but his own father helped in the process. At the end, he does what he has to do, and when the man he used to call father is falling down and the pain of the shot the Wookie gives him, he knows it's already too late.
After all, he finds her, and the brief pain that her departure had given her is now replaced with betrayal and rage. Not only she had left, not only she had humiliated him but now she had to be with him? The traitor? He simply doesn't know, he doesn't know why she and the trooper would chose a life on the run when they could have everything they have. And when he sees the saber in the traitor's hand, he just loses it.
It's almost ironical, how everything turned out for him. When the man finally lies on the cold snow, he almost knows the saber would fly at him. It's his destiny, after all, to finish what his grandfather started. But of course, the destiny had other plans, and he knew when he saw the saber in her hands.
She's just like him, he wanted to think. She thinks he's the enemy, and he can't help but think about how wrong she is. So an idea crosses her mind, and just as Snoke had guided him he would do the same to her. He would help her master it, he would help her left that girl crying in the dessert in the past. He could show her, if only she would let her.
She just doesn't know that, perhaps, he just doesn't want the boy to be alone.
But he had wronged her. He had bruised her, undermined her and hurt her in ways that, perhaps, he wouldn't be able now to understand— and now will never be. She was just like the sea she would often dream about, unforgiving to those who had doubted and played her for a fool, and he was like a sailor that in his confidence had insulted her name, and now, had to pay the price.
And as the sea, she fights back. She doesn't back off and charges at him with all she's got, and by his grandfather he knows is perhaps too much for him… or perhaps, that the boy just doesn't want to hurt her.
He now lies on his new chambers, looking at the scar that now crosses her face— the scar she left him. Snoke said is a reminder of how his weakness got the best of him. He wants to thin he's right, that the next time he won't let the boy got the best of him, but he knows himself just enough to not undermine her again. She had shown him what she's capable of, and he likes to think he would do the same the next time he sees her again.
Because he knows what she had done to him, and he needs to be ready, so the next time, he can defend himself.
So… guess who's reylo's trash now?
I sooo wanted to write something about Star Wars since I first saw TFA (a kylo ren sinign your love will kill me to rey needs to be done, I swear!), and hey, it's nice to do some crackships rather than my oc/canon ships.
So yeah, if you liked this, a review would be nice! ^.^
