This was supposed to be the start of a totally different story. But it spun out of control and I was having way too fun writing this to sidetrack.
"You ***hole!" The slightly wasted grunt yelled as he tackled the lithe male against the wall.
"Arceus, your breath stinks. What did ya have for dinner, Grimer sh-" The grin was wiped off his face as he felt the knee to his stomach.
"Hey, watch the merchandise! Unlike you, I actually care about my body!" The attacker rolled his eyes and kicked him in the shin.
"Geez, man up you flamboyant fa-" The thief gave him a blank look and the attacker paused.
"Not gay. Do homosexuals have girlfriends?" The lower ranked man growled and tried to punch him, Brodie caught his fist and sighed. Then he swiftly escaped the trap, making the drunken man almost stumble forward in surprise.
"I get it, I get it! Bisexual then?" The frustration in the man's voice made the young man laugh.
"Pansexual."
"What the f**k is the difference?!"
"Transsexuals don't creep me out? It's the whole gender identity thing. Anyway kind sir can ya please stop tryin' to murder me?" Brodie kneed him in the crotch, the grunt collapsed in pain.
"Haha... I can see Commander Homura bein' quite p***ed with ya. Ah well, it's your own damn fault." Mental note to self- Never let this guy have alcohol. He was incredibly lightweight. He looked the man over and muttered a curse. Damn it. He knocked him out. How to get him back to his room? Or in the dumpster...
"Huh? Uh... Brodie right?" The amber eyed male turned around to face a pretty shocked looking admin. Whoops. He grinned sheepishly and nodded.
"Uh yep that's me."
"Okay..." Admin Tabitha fidgeted as he eyed the unconscious man on the floor. "What the heck happened here? A fight?" A nervous smile appeared on the crossdresser's face as he rubbed his neck.
"Kinda, this guy got wasted and went delusional. Self defense." He suddenly fell to his knees and bowed his head.
"Please don't tell Rara! He'd be p***ed for sure!" The older man nearly jumped in surprise at the sudden behaviour change but recovered and grinned his famous grin.
"Hyaa, sure! He wouldn't be that angry if it was self defense though. Homura might want an explanation but he won't punish you." He glanced at the body.
"So uh... What are you going to do with the guy then?"
Brodie shrugged.
"Dunno, throw him to the pyroars?" He expected a lecture, Homura would normally if he said something stupid like that. Instead he heard a snicker then Tabitha erupted into laughter.
"Oh Arceus, if only we could! It'd be hilarious! Sadly we can't but that'll be great. How about instead we hang him upside down and cover him with Christmas decorations?" Looked like Brodie found a new friend. So relaxed and fun compared to their cousin. Brodie grinned.
"Hell yeah, that sounds great!"
So that was why when Homura left to do some fieldwork with his squad he and the grunts stared in shock at the upside down human Christmas Tree.
"What the hell is this?! Christmas is over as well!"
Round the corner Brodie and Tabitha snickered, high-fiving.
"That was brilliant." Brodie peeked at the shocked Commander and chuckled. "Tabitha, your cousin looks like a goldfish."
Tabitha glanced at Homura and tried not to erupt into laughter.
"You're right, he looks hilarious. Now let's go before he hears us." Brodie agreed and they turned to leave.
"It's a bit too late for that." A stern voice behind said. They jumped and exchanged glances. Glances that clearly said 'He's behind us, isn't he?'. They slowly turned around, meeting glaring violet eyes. Tabitha's red eyes widened then he grinned nervously.
"A-Ahya... Hi Homura..."
"Don't you 'hi Homura' me... I expected this from Brodie... But not from one of the strongest high ranked members of our team..." He muttered darkly, his tone suggesting he was considering hanging HIM upside down. His suspicions were confirmed when one of the grunts behind him revealed a spiral of rope with him.
"Ah-Ahyahya... Brodie?"
"Y-Yeah?"
"Run!" And they legged it, getting chased by the p***ed off Homura and his grunts.
