A/n: Short Bella/Edward drabble in Edward's POV. This is fairly horrible, but it was bouncing about my head so I had to free the poor thing. I've always wondered what was going through Edward's mind on the subject of him thinking he's bad for her soul, so this was interesting for me write. This is lightly set after Eclipse. They are going to tell Charlie about the engagement, and Edward got that ring on her. Finally (!!). My sister--who believes I'm a waste of closet space if I'm not doing anything Twilight centric--pushed me to post this medocracy. So if it kills too many brain cells, 'tis not my fault XD

Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership to Stephenie Meyer's fabulous characters. Just the power to write. Besides, if I owned Edward I wouldn't be wasting it by writing meaningless nothings.


It was always a sin.

Every time we were together. Every time we kissed. Every time she merely thought of me, was a sin. Her soul was endangered by my very existence.

Which was worse? I wondered. That she was sinning her spot into Hell, or that she did not care? That she knew with every second she spent with me she was probably damning her afterlife...but refused to do anything about it?

But I did not want her to do anything about it. Of that I was obscenely correct. I wanted her to stay with me, to kiss me, to think of me. Which made me a selfish monster. Always selfish, even when I was not killing innocent people. Even when I find the one thing that humans find more powerfully great than anything else—love—I find a way to covet what I shouldn't. To make a morally wrong mess of just about everything.

Anything my stone cold hands could caress, I could vitiate. And that included her. The person who mattered more then anything. Which is why I essentially wanted to leave. But even after trying to right what I had no authority to do, all still was not well.

But sitting with her near me now, things are not so clear. The strong aroma that made me loathe her in the very beginning was now not as persistent. Her blood still smelled to sweet, still called to me. But it did not matter, because I did not thirst for it anymore. It was her, only her, that mattered. It would always be that way.

She smiles at me, not having any idea exactly what she does to me. No idea whatsoever that she is the most important thing on the face of this whole wretched world.

She stands up suddenly. Her ring catches in the light, and I suddenly don't care about anything but her smile. I kiss her before she is even finished talking, hoping maybe she will understand how perfect she is.

"Ready to go face the wrath of Char—"

Another sin for her. Another sin by means of my eternally damned lips touching hers. But she doesn't care, and neither do I suddenly. Because I love her, and she loves me.

If you're already wet you might as well go swimming, right?