Metal half god

Disclaimer: Percy belongs to Rick Riordian

Okay. This was going to freak my mom out. But she has to be told. I can't go own like this. Every gene in my body screamed for it. My mom was sitting across from me, ready to hear my so called "announcement." She and Mr. Blowfish.

"Okay, this may sound odd, but mom, I forged your signature and used some of your personal information to disown myself." I said. Yeah, break it gently.

Mr Blowfish spat out his tea, the ungrateful bastard. " Percy, why did you do that?" asked my mom, looking confused. 'How did you do that?"

"it was easy. After all that blowing up and coincidental destruction that follows me around, including me going in and threatening one of the damn government receptionists I managed to convince them I'm a danger to myself and the entire country. They really were quite understanding." I said nodding.

"You threatened a receptionist?" said my mom with a gasp. " Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she got over it and we have a date on Saturday." I said, waving my hands to show this was not important. "Anyway, some people will be coming to arrest me in about five minutes so we should make our goodbyes quick."

"Percy, you wait, what why?" began my mom, a little shocked and apparently a bit unsure about what was going on.

"Well, it's like this. I realized I'm a pawn for the Olympians and if I continue living with you, they can get me into some stupid war that'll be confusing and stuff. So, I decided to live a life a crime and infamy using my godly powers for these ends." I said.

"But you can't just do this!" said my mom. "You can't just leave!"

"Actually I can." I said. "You see, rules are just words, and they can't stop me. Or some other metaphorical question. The point is nothing really stops me, people just tell me I can't do it or it's not possible." I scratched my head. "It made so much more sense last night. Mom, do you have any vodka on you?"

"Percy!" said my mom, moving her eyes to indicate Blowfish. I understood her on a mother son level.

"You think Blowfish has some?" I asked.

"Percy, I know I have no authority over you." began Blowfish. "But I think you're really hurting your mother by doing this. And I think it's insane."

There was a frantic knocking at the door. "Hah! That'll be the law!" I said. " Bye every one!" Ignoring some other random cries I jumped out the window and hit the fire escape. Stupid fire escape.

Two people entered the room. "Hey guys what's going on?" said some people dressed like Mr. Blowfish parents who me and my mom were supposed to meet. Note I said dressed like. The government can't fool me.

Very well. It's time to fly! I jumped over the fire escape. Looking back, that might have been a mistake, us being on the thirteenth floor and all. But it was unexpected. It had style. I free fell with much grace securing my skateboard beneath my legs. And then I remembered. I neglected to ever practice skateboarding. For a lesser mortal, this would be quite hard.

"Percy!" came a voice from above. I looked up. And then down at the rapidly approaching ground. Wow. It sure takes a while to fall. I fell right into the garbage truck, and rode off to safety. Wait. garbage truck? Who to the garbage people work for? Ah yes. They really are very clever.

"Hey get off that garbage truck!" yelled someone. He was lucky, I was intending to do that anyway. I jumped off the truck and ran into an alley. If I'm right, the other part of my plan should have started working right about now.

In Sally Jackson apartments...

"So you're saying your son disowned himself and then, correct me if I'm wrong, jumped off the fires escape?" asked the police officer.

"Yes." said Sally, slightly teary eyed.

"I understand." said the officer. "Was his sex life healthy?"

"What?" asked Sally. "He..he wasn't active I think."

"Some people just don't make the effort." said the police officer, shaking his head.

"He was only 13!" said Sally angrily.

"Prude." said the man. "Okay, I believe I have enough-

"Sorry, we're late." said two police officer walking in through the door. "We had to chase some kid off a garbage truck. We believe you have a missing child Miss Jackson?" asked the latter of the two.

Sally turned to stare at the other police man. "You're not a real police man are you?" she asked.

"No, I'm just a pizza delivery man who's very lonely." he said, lowering his head.

"Rod, is that you?" asked one of the police man. "We told you if we caught you impersonating an officer again we'll have to arrest you!"

"It's okay." said Rod sadly. "I'll just cuff myself and wait till this is done." He said, cuffing himself to the chair.

"Okay, Miss Jackson we'll have to make this quick." said on of the officers. "Do you have a picture of your son?"

"Yes, I believe so." said Sally, and walked over to the edge of the room where she had a box full of picture of Percy. They were all gone. In their place was a note.

Dear mom,

I'm sorry but I can't be found that easily!!!!! I hid all the pictures in my room!

Love, Percy, your probably already disowned son.

"Sally." said Mr. Blowfish, walking out of Percy's room. "I found all these photos on Percy's desk."

Sally looked at the pictures. One every single one of them, Percy had drawn a large black moustache. On a few they weren't even drawn on his face. "Here you go officers." she said softly. "But he doesn't really have a moustache."

"Right maam." said the officer. "We'll call you if anything happens." They left, solemnly, with a lonely pizza delivery guy called Rod.

In front of the Subway...

They should be starting to chase me any minute now. And now my true brilliance will at last be revealed. My mom will tell them to search for someone without a moustache, but I'm going to grow one. I felt the skin above my lip. It was already kind of fuzzy. Perfect.