Chapter 1
Sammy once had a glowing dick. It was beautiful and glowed so bright you had to wear glasses in order to see it. He tended to ejaculate glitter instead of regular boring semen. It was also very big in size. Like the Chrysler building that Cas likes to compare his "true form" to.
It was truly a beautiful sight. Women would often faint when they saw it. Similarly, Sam would mutter "boobies boobies boobies".
On the night that Dean had died for the millionth time, Sam's special penis had been growing in size. Every hour, it would grow another foot, ripping his pants apart as it grew. He had trouble dragging his brother's corpse into the bunker because his penis would be rubbing up against everything, even Dean himself. Once Dean was settled in his bed, Sam left because he couldn't bare to look at his dear brother's lifeless body. Dean's last words kept playing over and over in his head. I'm proud of us. Tears started to form in his eyes. He'd lost his brother before, but this was different. Sam had a chance to forgive him for what he'd done. This had been the first time Sam had held him in his arms as he'd died while his penis was ripping his pants under Dean's limp body. Dean's half drunk beer was sitting on the table when Sam entered the study. He did what Dean would've done in this situation, he drank his pain away. Not just the pain inside, but also the pain in his penis. It was starting to throb, to the point where Sam wanted to rip it off. In a fit of rage and pain, Sam mindlessly went off to summon the demon responsible, Crowley.
It's hard to walk with a penis that goes all the way down to your feet. And very uncomfortable. Poor Sam was waddling. He also had trouble drawing the sigils because his penis kept erasing the chalk. After many tries and a chalk-covered penis, he finally was able to get everything together to summon the demon.
That bastard Crowley didn't show up immediately. Sam started to wonder if he'd even show up. He'd have to though, Sam summoned him.
"Well hello Moose." Crowley says as he finally shows up. He can't help but stare at Sam's penis shaped hole in his pants
"Crowley, you got Dean started on this path and now he's lying dead on his bed. Bring him back, bring him back NOW!"
"Sorry, can't do that"
"WHY NOT?"
"His soul is a little preoccupied at the moment"
Sam stares blankly at Crowley. "What do you mean by "preoccupied?""
"I'm afraid that's classified information. Sorry moose, but I have a meeting to go to. Hell ain't gonna rule itself."
"Crowley wait-!" Sam tackled Crowley and pinned him on the ground. Before Sam could say anything, he started to ejaculate glitter all over Crowley's fancy suit. He smacked him with his penis a few times, till Crowley yelled, "Alright!" Sam let him go from his grip and Crowley got up, dusting the glitter off of him. He was winded from the beating he had just gotten from Sam's penis. "Okay Crowley. Now tell me what happened to Dean." Sam said. Crowley gave in. What else could he do? He didn't want to get another beating from Sam's dick. It hurt like hell the first time.
