A/N: This story was definitely inspired by a song called 'The Coolest' by Lupe Fiasco. This is my first time writing a songfic (I think that's what this would be considered) Also in other news, 'The Life and Times of WHS' is going to be update really soon as well as 'The Return of The Killer Kung Fu Wolf Bitch'...well I hope you all enjoy…
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE BOONDOCKS, I ONLY OWN CARMELA TIFFANY RODRIQUEZ.
The Coolest
By T. MIKE aka Operation Doomsday
It was a dark and stormy night and all of the inhabitants of Woodcrest were either sound asleep or sheltering themselves from the bizarre blizzard terrifying the city in the middle of May. Riley Freeman was doing neither, he was doing his daily routine: crime. He had on his normal attire which consisted of a black ski mask, black body armor, black cargo pants and all black Timberland boots. However, today he wasn't packing his normal 9mm, he had an AK-47.
"Empty the draws, bitch!" Riley yelled as he shoved the rifle right into the heart of the cashier.
"Take it all!" she cried as she threw the money at him. "Just don't hurt me!"
"Oh I won't hurt you, but I will…" he was interrupted by the sound of someone sucking their teeth. It was no one than his long time partner, Carmela Tiffany Rodriquez.
The red hot latina was totally dressed different from her significant other. She had on a very small, rather revealing red dress with red heels on. Her hair was styled into a messy bun that fit her mean and vicious face perfectly.
"Leave that ho alone and get money for us, nigga!"
"I'm workin on it!" Riley couldn't help but stare at his lover/crime partner. "And could ya put some damn clothes on?!"
The two collected the money until it was all gone. The cashier continue to cry but now her cries started to get loud, too loud for Carmela.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" she pistol whipped the young cashier. A small trail of blood fell from the corner of her mouth and hit the ground in a small splatter.
She appeared to only be in her twenties and she looked to be a couple of months pregnant.
"My baby…" she winced in pain as blood flowed from her lip.
"Eff your baby!" Carmela then shot her in the stomach. Blood spattered onto Carmela's face and she laughed as the young girl began to slowly lose her life. Her body was getting cold and her eyes were shut tight.
"What the hell Mela! She didn't do nothin to us!" Riley yelled shaking Carmela's shoulders.
"You can be next." she said pointing the pistol in between his eyes. "Now I shot this heffer because back in high school she cheated off of me and made us both fail." she then kicked the cashier. "Isn't that right, Latoya?!"
"…" was all that came from her mouth. She was dying slowly and Carmela laughed like a hyena. She must of thought it was cool, cool to see a young black woman die while carrying a baby. Riley looked on in disgust even though he was use to seeing this.
The coolest nigga, what? The
coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The
coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The
coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The
coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The coolest
nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The coolest nigga, what?
The
coolest nigga, what? The coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga,
what? The coolest nigga, what?
Lord please have sympathy
And
forgive my cool young history (Michael Young History)
As...
The coolest nigga,
what? The coolest nigga, what?
The coolest nigga, what? The
coolest nigga, what?
The modern day Bonnie and Clyde left the gas station with duffle bags full of cash. Back when he was eight, he always thought doing something this would be cool. Now that it is an everyday struggle, he truly realizes its not THAT cool.
"Carmela, why the hell did you have to shoot that gurl?" Riley asked while placing the bags into the trunk of their 2006 pearl white Nissan Skyline GT-R.
"She ruined my GPA that year! Then I never got to go to the college I wanted to go!"
"Mela…you dropped out in 12th grade. Shut that shit up!" Riley roared. "Now we gonna have extra heat on us tonight!"
"You got that right, but lucky for me I got us a safe house back up in Woodcrest Hills."
Riley wrinkled his nose. He hated that place, since it was the homelands to his number one enemies, The Preps. As they drove up to the safe house, Riley began to wish that he stayed in school and graduated like his brother. Right now he would have been a junior in college but instead he was glorifying the gangsta lifestyle to the fullest.
'Man why did I have to dropout?' he asked himself in his mind.
Flashback…
A sixteen year old Riley was sitting in his room doing extra credit homework for US History. Riley was in the 11th grade and he was struggling with his grades. He had an F in every class except for Drawing. He had an 95 in that. The pressure was starting to get to him. Even though Huey tried to tutor him it only made things worst. Huey was very harsh while tutoring Riley, often making him feel useless. With all these thoughts flying through his young mind he didn't even notice someone throwing a rock at his window.
"What the?" he ran to the window and smiled. It was no other than his next door neighbor, Thugnificent.
"What's good Young Reezy?!"
"Nothin…just tryin to get my grades up!" Riley sighed.
"Man fuck school, that's what I say." Thugnificent folded his arms. "All that reading, I just ain't into it."
"Yea that's what I'm sayin!"
"Exactly, do what I did, kid. Drop out and start working in the streets. You'll get mad paper that way…"
"Really?" Riley asked in a rather high pitch voice.
"Yep you best to believe."
A couple of hours later at Ed Wuncler's Manor…
"So lemme get this straight…" Ed the III took a quick swig of his malt liquor. "You want to borrow my nine, so you can rob the jewelry store?"
"Yea and I'm gonna tell the bitch to make me a grill!"
"Man that would be cool, if you wasn't Riley Freeman. Ya know the Riley Freeman that shot my ass out of a second story window with a shotgun?" Ed got into Riley's face.
"Damn nigga let it go…"
"I did, but I just can't." Ed hiccupped. "I don't want your grandpa to blow my ass off with sawed off again…"
A little while later…
Riley walked outside of the Wuncler Manor in rage. He couldn't believe his long time friend wouldn't loan him any heat so he could start making a name in the streets. The young thug walked around aimlessly until he passed a familiar house. Smiling from ear to ear he ran to the door and rang the doorbell.
"Hola Riley!" Carmela greeted her boyfriend with a big kiss. His other half had on a red tank top and faded blue jeans. She also had on a gun holster, for some odd reason. She always claim she had it on for protection.
"Hey babe…" Riley said, not so excited.
"What's wrong, love?"
"I dunno man, I just feel useless." Riley dug his head into her shoulder. "I wanna do somethin wit my life and school ain't workin."
"That's the same way I use to feel until Huey told me there was other things I could do."
A/N: Now this part of the story interacts with a part of my other story: The Life and Times Of Wuncler High School, but let's just say this one-shot is an alternate universe.
"Man Huey can eat a dick." Riley growled. "That nigga just says stuff like that to get on people's good side."
"Oh?" Carmela looked down at the ground. "He told me that I could be successful without violence."
"You can but why stop somethin' you're so good at?"
"Because…"
"Mela, I need a gun."
"For what?"
"I gotta get my street cred up!"
"Street cred my ass, I won't be givin you-" she was interrupted by Riley pressing his lips against hers. The two became tangled in each other's love or so it seemed. While Riley was sticking his tongue down Carmela's throat he grabbed Carmela's prized pink chrome pistol from her holster and stuck in his back pocket. After achieving his objective he broke the kiss.
"Well I gotta go, thanks babe!" Riley smiled. He then did a quick spin on his heels and began running towards the direction of downtown.
"Bye!" Carmela said dreamily. She then closed the door and sat on her couch and started to daydream about Riley. She hugged her sides pretending it was him until she noticed something was missing from her hip.
At the jewelry store…
It was near close and Joseph, the owner of Joe's Jiggy Jewelry was calling it a night. He was counting the money in his registers until an unexpected costumer came into the store.
"Sorry sir, we're close." Joseph said without looking up.
"Actually I think you're about to re-open." the voice said, cocking his gun.
Joseph quickly looked up to see a young man with a ski mask, a 3XL black tee and navy blue Enyce jeans on.
"Okay, I'm open!" Joseph replied in a shaky voice.
"Alright now put some doe into this bag!" the masked man threw a bag at Joseph. Suddenly Carmela came running through the door and tackled the masked man.
"Riley what the hell you doin wit my gun?"
"I told you man!" Riley unmasked himself. "I'm tryin to make a name for myself. It wasn't like I was gonna shoot the old geezer."
That's then when Riley realized that Joseph seemed to have disappeared.
"Where'd he go?"
Meanwhile in a closet…
Joseph pulled out a cell phone and quickly dialed 911.
"911." the female operator said from her side of the line.
"Yes, I'd like to report a robbery. There are these two kids in here and one of them has a pink gun!"
Back in the store…
"I think I here him…" Carmela whispered as she pressed her ear against the closet door. She listened closely as she heard Joseph tell the story to the person on the phone. "Oh shit, Riley! He snitchin! If we get caught we goin to the BIG HOUSE!"
"What do we do?"
Without saying a word Carmela snitched the gun from Riley's hand and kicked the door in. Joseph let out a gasp as the door flew into him and hit him square in the head. The latina gritted her teeth at the old man and then pointed the tip of the pistol right in between his eyes.
"So you think you can snitch and get away with it?" a twisted smile crept across Carmela's face. "Snitches end up in DITCHES!"
Without saying another word Carmela launched three hollow tip bullets into Joseph's forehead. Blood flew all over the place and even small pieces of brain flew onto Riley and Carmela.
"Damn that felt good!" Carmela laughed. Riley could have swore he saw her eyes flash green with money signs in them, but he quickly slapped some sense into himself.
"Okay baby, we gotta go!" Carmela led the two to safety.
On Timid Deer Lane…
The two lovers were now nearing their houses and remained silent the whole trip back. Riley couldn't take it anymore and broke the silence.
"Why did you kill him?"
"Because if I didn't we would have got caught." Carmela simply replied. "Thanks to you, you reminded me about how good this life was to me."
"Word?"
"Word indeed. Living this lifestyle, me and you can become the king and queen of this white suburbia." she gave him a peck on the cheek.
End Flashback…
Riley slowly opened his eyes and noticed he was now inside of the safe house, on a mattress laying next to a almost nude Carmela. He couldn't help but smile, she looked like an angel while she slept. Too bad deep down he knew she was a heartless devil. Sometimes he even wondered if she cared about him like she use to. Riley stared up and the ceiling and began to reminisce on all the promises, good times, bad times and fiascos he's dealt with since being with Carmela.
I love the lord
But sometimes it's like that I love me
more
I love the peace, and I love the war
I love the seas, and
I love the shore
No love for no beach, baby that's law
But she
doesn't see, therefore I spoil
I trick, I fall, run up in raw
I
love her with all my heart
Every vein, every vessel, every bullet
lodged
With every flower that I ever took apart
She said, that
she would give me greatness, status, placement
Above the others,
my face with grace covers of the magazines
Of the hustlers, paper,
the likes of which
That I had never seen, her eyes glow green
With
the logo of our dreams, the purpose of our scene
A obscene
obsession for the bling
She would be my queen, I could be her
king, together
She would make me cool, and we would both rule,
forever
And I would never feel pain
And never be without
pleasure, ever, again
And if the rain stops, and everything's
dry
She would cry, just so I could drink the tears from her
eyes
She'd teach my how to fly, even cushion my fall
If my
engines ever stall, and I plummet from the sky
But she would keep
me high, and if I ever die
She would commission my image on her
bosom, to him
Or maybe she'd retire as well
A match made in
Heaven set the fires in Hell...
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he noticed his lover waking up.
"What's up, chico?" Carmela yawned.
"Not too much, my queen." he said rubbing her face with his thumb.
"Oh we haven't become that yet." She then sat up. "But once we take over Bif's manor, we will have complete control of Woodcrest."
"Bif?" Riley remembered all the times he fought the leader of the Preps. "That'll be an easy task."
"Yep, easy as pie." she said hopping out of the bed. "Let's get dressed."
5 minutes later…
The two were dressed for combat. Carmela had on a blue bulletproof vest with green camo capris and black Timberland boots. Riley had on a black fitted with a black bulletproof vest with a white tank top under it. He also had on gray Ecko sweatpants on with some all white Air Force Ones. The two of them both had AK-47s strapped to their backs and grenades on their belts.
"You ready?" Riley asked holding Carmela's hand.
"Ready to become Queen of Woodcrest." she said giving Riley a quick peck on the lips.
Twenty minutes later, The Main Entrance of Bif's Manor…
This was it. The final destination. After completing this job, Riley and Carmela would have finally finishing chasing The Cool. The two looked at the estate and noticed it was very well guarded.
"Luckily Ed lemme borrow us his bulletproof Hummer." Carmela said revving the engine.
"Yep you drive, I shoot…" Riley finished loading his clip. "I want you to ram through those gates, drive up the path and even bust through that nigga's front door! It's on!"
"Damn if we survive this…I'm going to give you the best slice of pie ever." she said with lust dripping from her tongue.
She then focused on the path in front of her. It was do or die time and she planned on getting through this. She slammed her foot onto the pedal and drove full speed into the gate. The gates flew open instantly killing the four guards guarding the front. Alarms began to go off as Carmela continued to mow down the guards as Riley shot the guards who were on watch towers. The closer they got, the more gun fire began to hit the Hummer. The bullets ricocheted off of the car like rubber as the couple continued to get closer to their final destination. About three minutes and about one hundred dead guards later, they finally made it to the front door of Bif's manor. They looked behind them and noticed all the blood and guts from their killing spree they just had. Shaking the image off they kicked the front door in to be meet by two guards with shotguns. The guards fired at the couple as they both dodged the barrage of shotgun shells. Riley took cover behind a pillar, Carmela did the same at an adjacent one. Quickly thiking Carmela chucked one of her grenades over to where the guards were…
BOOM!
When Riley and Carmela peeked from over there hiding spots they couldn't help but notice the chunks of fresh smoking flesh scattered on the floor from the explosion of the grenade.
"It's a nasty job but someone's go to-" Carmela suddenly stopped her sentence and dropped to the floor holding her neck. He quickly ran up to her and noticed she was losing a lot of blood from that area. He cradled her into his arms and began to silently cry.
"Goodbye, my sexy love…I'll always lo-" once again her sentence was interrupted by a bullet blowing the back of her head off.
"What the?" Riley then looked up and noticed Bif holding a M40 Sniper Rifle.
"Uh oh it appears that my finger slipped!" Bif laughed. "Allow me to let it slip again and this time hit your HEAD!" he fired a shot at Riley but missed due to the boy's quickest. Something he gained from Huey, he ran up the stairs firing his AK as chased Bif. The last couple of shots hit the target, both of Bif's calves and caused him to hit the ground with a thud.
"Riley, it doesn't have to end like this." he begged with a mouth full of blood.
"You killed my love. The only thing in this world that made me feel COOL. Now I'm going to show you why I'm the coolest nigga!" Riley then picked Bif up over his head and threw him out of the second story window. Bif's body hit the concrete outside with a thud. However the guy seemed to still be alive because he had enough power to salute the bird to Riley. This only made Riley's blood boil more. Riley then grabbed his AK-47 and aimed down at Bif. He then pulled the trigger and let off his whole clip on Bif. He then reloaded and proceeded the process until he was totally out of ammo. Two hundred and thirty nine bullets found their way into Bif's body and left him a holy mess. Riley then fell to his knees and cried. He finally did it. He became the kingpin but he had no queen to rule with. His dreams of become the coolest finally were accomplished. But it caused him his true love. He stared up at the now starry sky and thought of how it would be if Carmela was with him right now.
And so began our reign
The trinity, her and I can
No
weather man could ever stand where her and I came
Hella hard,
umbrella whatever, put plywood over Pella panes
And pray to God
that the flood subside
'cause you're gonna need a sub 'til he does
reply
And not one of Jared's, you think it's all arid
And
everything's irie, another supply
That means another July inside
my endless summer
That was just the eye of the Unger
Felix,
'cause he is the cleanest amongst the younger
Outstanding
achieving up-and-comers
The ones that had dead-beat daddies, and
well-to-do mamas
But not well enough to keep 'em from us
The
ones that were, fighting in class, who might not pass
Rap record
pressured to laugh, at a life not fast
Can you feel it[echo,
that's what I got asked
Do I love her[echo, said I don't
know
Streets got my heart, game got my soul
One time missing
sunshine will never hurt your soul
Quote: To a crying dishonored
baby mama
Who's the mama to a daughter that I had fathered from
afar
My new lady gave me a Mercedes and a necklace
With a solid
gold key, like the starter of a car
The opener of a door or two
pounds of raw
You gave me a baby, but what about lately?
Then
ha-ha-ha-ha-haw'ed, right up in her face, G
There's more fish in
the sea, I'm on my mission to be…
"The coolest nigga, what?" Riley asked himself as he heard sirens approach. Having no energy to move, he decided to just lay down on the snowy ground and enjoy his last few seconds of cold fresh air.
"Lord please have sympathy and forgive my cool young history as 'The Coolest' nigga, what?" Riley spoke to the heavens above.
Come, these are the tales of The Cool
Guaranteed to go and
make you fail from your school
And seek unholy grails like a
fool
And hang with the players of the pool, fast talking on the
hustle
No Heaven up above you, no Hell underneath you
And
nowhere will receive thee, so
Shed no tear, when we're not
here
And keep your faith, as we chase
...The Cool
A/N: Well that's it...my first ever one-shot story. I didn't know I was capable of ending a story...but there it is. Hopefully you enjoyed that...so please read and review, BOONDOCKS FANFICTION UP ALL DAY!
T. MIKE
