The Three Nerdy Pigs
There were once three nerdy pigs who built houses in the woods to protect themselves from the wolf who tried to eat them. Bullet, the big, bad gangster wolf, was walking through the woods one day when he saw Porky's, the youngest of the three pigs, house, which was made of paper.
"Let me in, let me in, dawg!" Bullet yelled. "I wanna eat you, son!"
"Not by the plastic tape on the nose of my glasses!" Porky shouted back.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house up!" Bullet pulled out a bomb.
"Oh snap!"
Bullet threw the bomb into the paper house, but porky managed to escape before it went off. Well, it shouldn't have been hard, since it was a paper house.
Porky ran as fast as he could to Omelet's, the middle pigs, house, which was made out of rulers.
Bullet followed.
"Little piggies, little piggies, let me in, yo!" The wolf yelled.
"Not by the protractor in my left shirt pocket!" Omelet retorted.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house up!" Bullet pulled out another bomb.
Porky and Omelet barely managed to escape in time. Seriously, they're just rulers. Just run through them. They ran to Hamlet's, the oldest pigs, house. Hamlet's house was made of textbooks.
Bullet followed. Really? What are you, Bullet, a stalker?
"Let me in, sons. You got nowhere else to run." The wolf said.
"Not by the juicy, succulent ham on my perfectly flabby body!" Hamlet replied.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow-" Bullet broke off. "Man, out of bombs."
The nerdy pigs rejoiced.
But Bullet did not give up he climbed onto the roof and down the chimney. Okay, now I'm sure he's a stalker. The nerdy pigs got scared.
"You little piggies go nowhere else to run, dawgs. You might as well give up now, and die with dignity, homies." The very ticked off wolf said.
"Eat my protractor!" Omelet yelled before throwing his protractor at the ticked off stalker of a wolf. It cut his throat, and Bullet fell to the ground, life ebbing away.
"You just got owned! Nerd style!" Hamlet yelled in triumph.
The nerdy pigs then ate Bullet's lifeless corpse.
And they all lived happily ever after. Well, the three nerdy pigs did. I'm not so sure about Bullet…
