He knows the instant he elbows his way through the semi-circle of hockey jocks surrounding the dumpster, that he's going to regret his decision. It's bound to put a target on his back, and with the current shift of power making its way through the halls of McKinley, he could very well end up being the next victim of a slushie facial. But as he steps between Karofsky and Kurt, it's a little too late to turn his back on the situation.

"Never took you for a fag hag, Puckerman." The hockey captain goads.

"At least the kid plays a real sport man. He's not just some glorified ice skater that carries a big stick."

Dave snorts, "On the ice, I eat guys like you for breakfast. It's a real contact sport."

"Slamming guys into a wall and then running away isn't a contact sport, you douche. It's an excuse to figure skate."

When Karofsky steps forward and shoves him, it sends both him and Hummel against the side of the dumpster. The smaller boy is pressed flush against Puck's backside and he's starting to question his own sexuality when Coach Tanaka steps inside the inner throng of onlookers.

"Is there a problem here, Puckerman?"

"No sir," he replies, stepping away from Kurt. He's going to have to fuck Santana extra hard just to reassert his badassness, maybe he can even talk her into letting Brittany join in on the sexcapades.

"Then I suggest you both get to class…Now!"

-0-0-

He skips football practice in order to pick up his kid sister from school. When he reaches his truck he's surprised to find Berry leaning against the side of it.

"What? You need a lift home or something?"

She shakes her head no, as a huge shit eating grin stretches across her face. "You stood up for Kurt today," she practically gushes, bouncing on the heels of her shoes.

"No I didn't."

She's eyeing him like he's a shiny statue she's in the running to win and it kind of freaks him out. "I didn't," he insists, stepping around her.

She reaches up, touching his arm, "It was very chivalrous of you, Noah."

"Jesus Christ," he mumbles, rolling his eyes. "Look, Berry, I didn't do it for queer eye okay. The dumpster dump is my move. I mastered it, perfected it. I handpicked the targets. I'll be damned if I'm going to let Karofsky screw it up the way he did the slushie facial. It's called creative licensing, look it up."

She's still smiling as he climbs into his truck and he thinks, maybe she'd be kind of hot, if you could get past all that crazy.