Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or Bread and Jam for Frances. I write mainly for own amusement.

AN: Bread and Jam for Frances is my favorite children's book, as are the rest of the Frances books, but Bread and Jam remains my favorite. The books are by Russell Hoban. I am sure you can figure out the tune little Elsa's songs are set to.

Bread and Gravlaks for Elsa

by

Ninja Elsa

It was breakfast time for the Royal Family of Arendelle,
and everyone was at the table.
The King was eating his pickled herring.
The Queen was eating her pickled herring.
Anna was sitting in her high chair and eating her pickled herring too.
"What delicious herring!" said the King.
"If there is one thing I am fond of for breakfast,
is pickled herring and sweet cheese."
"Yes," said the Queen, using a fork holding up a piece of herring for the younger princess.
"Just the thing to start the morning off right."
"Ah!" said Anna, and ate up her herring."
Elsa did not eat her herring.
She sang a little song to it.

She sang very softly:

Swim away, another day
Won't let even get in your way
Not on bread, not as spread,
I will eat my gravlaks instead.

"What did you say, Elsa?" asked the King.
"Nothing." said Elsa,
piling gravlaks onto another slice of bread.
"Why do you keep eating gravlaks," asked the King,
"when you have some lovely pickled herring?"
"One of the reasons I like gravlaks," said Elsa,
"is that it does not taste slimy or smell of vinegar."
"Well, of course," said the King,
"not everyone is fond of pickled herring in vinegar.
But there is other types of pickled herring.
There is herring in tomato sauce and herring with onions and lemon."
"Yes," said Elsa. "But tomatoes are red. And it makes the fish look like its bleeding. And lemons are too sour."
"What about herring with sour cream and apple?" said the King.
"The slimy fish swimming in the white sauce with crunch bits of apple doesn't look very appetizing." said Elsa.
"I think it's time for you to go to you tutor now." said the Queen.

Elsa picked up her books and her packed lunch. Then she kissed the Queen and King good-bye and and headed to the library to wait.

While she waited for her tutor to arrive she made a little ice patch in the hall and skated in figure eights and sang:

Gravlaks on toast
and gravlaks on bread!
Gravlaks is what I love the most.
Dill and salt never bothered me anyway.

That evening for dinner Royal family sat in the dining hall for dinner. The cooks had prepared meat cakes, potatoes and boiled carrots.
"Ah!" said the King. "What is there handsomer on a plate
and tastier to eat than meat cakes and potatoes!"
"It is a nice dish, isn't it?" said the Queen.
"Eat up the carrot, Anna."
"Oh!" said Anna, and ate it up.
She had already eaten her dinner of strained beef and sweet potatoes but liked to practice with a carrot when she could.

"Where do meat cakes come from?" asked Elsa.
"And why do we always have to have potatoes?"
"We can talk about that another time." said the King.
"Now is the time to eat our dinner."

Elsa looked at her plate and sang:

The meat is mushed up with heaven knows inside
Is it boiled or is it fried? Couldn't guess if I tried.

Then she piled some gravlaks onto a piece of crisp bread and took a bite.
"She won't try anything new," said the Queen to the King.
"She just eats bread and gravlaks."
"How do you know what you'll like
if you won't even try anything?" the King asked.
"Well," said Elsa,
"there are many different things to eat,
and they taste many different ways.
But when I have bread and gravlaks
I always know what I am getting, and I am always pleased."
"You try new things in your lunches." said the Queen.
"The cook said she packed you a goat cheese sandwich."
"There now!" said the King to Elsa. "Wasn't it good?"
"Well," said Elsa, "I traded with my tutor."
"For what?" said the King.
"Bread and gravlaks." said Elsa.

The next morning at breakfast the King sat down and said,
"Now I call that a pretty sight!
Fresh orange juice and a salmon egg omelet with sliced tomatoes on the side.
There's a proper breakfast for you!"
"I will make it a point to thank the cook." said the Queen.
"Sliced tomatoes do have a cheery look , I think."

Elsa began to sing a sliced tomato song:

Tomato! Tomato!
Vegetable or fruit
I don't care
which one you are
let the debate rage on!
You're delicious, yes either way.

Then she looked down and saw
that she did not have any tomatoes.

"I have no tomatoes." said Elsa.
"I have nothing but orange juice."
"I know." said the Queen.
"Why is that?" said Elsa.
"Everybody else has sliced tomatoes.
Even Anna has sliced tomatoes and she is nothing but a baby."
"But you do not like tomatoes," said the Queen,
"and that is why I asked the cook not to give you any.
Have some bread and gravlaks if you are hungry."
So Elsa ate bread and gravlaks and went to the library to meet her tutor.

When her tutor call for a break to have lunch. The servants brought some milk.
Elsa sat down at the lunch table across from her tutor.
"What do you have today?" Said Elsa.
"I have a cream cheese cucumber tomato sandwich
on rye bread," said the tutor. "And a pickle.
And a sliced egg.
And some grapes. And some rice pudding.
What do you have?"
Elsa opened her lunch. "Bread and gravlaks," she said.
"You're lucky," said the tutor. "That's just what you like.
You don't have to trade now."
"That's right." said Elsa. "And I had bread and gravlaks
for dinner last night and for breakfast this morning."
"You certainly are lucky," said the tutor.
"Yes," said Elsa. "I am a very lucky princess, I guess.
But I'll trade you if you want to."
"That's all right." said the tutor.
"I like cream cheese cucumbers and tomatoes on rye."

The tutor took two napkins from her lunch box.
She tucked one under her chin.
She spread the other one on the table like a table cloth.
She arranged her lunch neatly on the napkin.
She took a slice of the egg and placed it on her sandwich.
She poured some of the milk in her cup and poured some for Elsa.
Then she was ready to eat her lunch.
She took a bite of her sandwich, a bite of pickle,
a bite of sandwich without a slice of egg, and drank some milk.
The tutor made the sandwich, the pickle,
the egg slices and the milk come out even.
She then ate her grapes.
She set the cup of rice pudding in the middle of the napkin on the table.
She took up her spoon and ate up all the custard.
Then the tutor folded up the napkins and put them away.
She put away her spoon.
She put the cup on the tray with the pitcher that had the milk.
She set aside her box that held her lunch and sighed.
"I like to have a good lunch," said the tutor.
Elsa ate her bread and gravlaks and drank her milk.

Then she went to the grand ball room. She froze the floor and skated.
She did not skate as fast as she had skated in the morning,
and she sang:

It's funny how much eating gravlaks
makes everything seem so null
And all the different things on my plate
don't taste like them at all!

When Elsa finished her tutoring for the day she rushed to see her little sister.
The Queen smiled and said, "I know how you like to have a little snack
when you are finished your tutoring,
and I have one ready for you."
"I do like snacks!" said Elsa, dancing in a small circle in front of the Queen.
"Here it is," said the Queen. "A cup of milk
and some nice bread and gravlaks for you."
"Aren't you afraid I'm going to smell like fish
and all the handsome princes will hate me
from eating so much gravlaks?" asked Elsa.
"I don't think so. Everyone loves gravlaks,"
said the Queen. "So you eat it up and enjoy it."
Elsa ate up most of her bread and gravlaks,
but she did not eat all of it.

After her snack she went back to the grand ballroom to skate.
Elsa skated a little more slowly than she had skated
at noon, and sang:

Gravlaks for snacks, gravlaks for meals
I have so much I have no more feels!
No bread, no fish, no gravlaks for me!

That evening for dinner the cook prepared
lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes.
"I am glad to see that there will be enough for second helpings"
said the King.
"Because lutefisk with stewed green pea and steamed potatoes is one of my favorite dishes.
"Lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes is a favorite with everybody."
said the Queen. "Try a little lutefisk, Anna"
"Um," said Anna, and she tried the lutefisk.
Elsa looked down and her plate
and saw that there was no lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes on it.
There was a slice of bread and pile of gravlaks.
Elsa began to cry.
"My goodness!" said the Queen. "Elsa is crying!"
"What is the matter?" asked the King.
Elsa looked down at her plate and sang a little sad song.
She sang so softly that the Queen and the King could scarcely hear her:

Oh gravlaks, you look like rocks.

"I want lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes." said Elsa.
"May I have some, please?"
"I had no idea you liked lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes!"
said the Queen.
"How do you know what I'll like if you won't even try me?"
asked Elsa, wiping her eyes.
So the Queen gave Elsa lutefisk with stewed green peas and steamed potatoes,
and she ate it all up.

The next day when the tutor broke for lunch,
she asked pouring each of them a cup of milk, "What do you have today?"
"Well," said Elsa laying a laced doily on the table
and setting a small vase on her desk tied with a purple ribbon with a yellow tulip inside in the middle of it,
"let me see." She arranged her lunch on the doily.
"I have a wheat bread sandwich with headcheese, pickled beets and pickled cucumbers, and some carrots. A sliced apple so it's easy to eat. And chocolate pudding. I love chocolate."
"That's a good lunch" said the tutor.
"I think it's nice that there are all different kinds
of lunches and breakfasts and dinners and snacks.
I think eating is nice."
"So do I," said Elsa,
and she made the headcheese sandwich, carrots and apples come out even.

The End