Prologue
"Ink to the paper,
pen to the hand
writing words
to make her understand.
Words are danger
words prove a liar
words can be deadly
and set the world on fire.
I loved her
and she loved me
and because of my love
I set her free.
Sleep brings no peace
blood sates no thirst
anything that 'helps'
only makes it worse.
Treated like a prisoner
presented like a Queen -
what a horrifying
and saddening scene.
Only one way
to escape the kingdom.
Only one way
to gain my freedom."
Trying to push someone out of your heart is never an easy task. Trying to push someone out of your heart while someone else is forcing their way in is dangerous. Especially when the person pushing in has complete and utter control over you. You are a helpless prisoner and your mind can't help but wander to back before this happened. Things weren't easy, but they were great. You had a reason to wake up in the mornings, a reason to be the best you could be. You had a reason to fight.
I had lost my reason.
Losing Rachel had been like losing my soul and feeling my body split in half. I had had to keep the tears buried inside because the powers that be would make my existance an even more despicable one. She was already punishing me for several centuries of disobedience. 'Tough love' she called it. The house she had was more manor than house with its spacious rooms and acres of land. She had winding staircases and a kitchen that would make contestants on Hell's Kitchen weep. She had knocked down several walls to make a million dollar soundproof game room for that hellion of hers, and had plans to build a miniscule skate park.
I rarely got to see any of this. Because of my misbehaviour, my quarters were in the basement. Perhaps she expected Stockholm Syndrome to work on vampires because there were no windows, and every good kidnapper knows that if you withold vitamin D from your victim, their judgement gets clouded. The only things I had to go by were lights. To pass the time, I took up writing.
At first, I wrote letters to Rachel. I wrote hundreds of them explaining who I was, what happened between us, and why I did what I did. Then poetry became my escape. It was easy to empathize with the singers - or screamers, rather - of the music Serena was inclined to listen to. I wrote my heart out and felt proud of the things no other eyes could ever behold. The basement was made of stone, and I hid my work behind a few loose ones.
She visited me each night - at least, I assumed it was night time - and tried to get me to open up to her. She would kiss me, press her lips against my weak spots, and gauge my reaction. Sometimes, it was easy to pretend she was Rachel and respond to her touch. But then she would speak, and the illusion would be broken. She sometimes flew into a rage, throwing things and screaming at me and bursting into tears. I felt bad for her, honestly. My heart yearned to care for her. She couldn't open herself up to anyone else because she would always love me. It would be up to me to comfort her.
Sometimes, Serena would visit me. I was certain she was a spawn of the devil, sent straight from Hades himself. She was a new vampire, and due to all the human blood in her body, she was much stronger than I was. Her first night visiting me, she told me she hated me and wished she could kill me simply because of "all the pain you've caused my mother". In all my years, I've never seen a kid so fiercely devoted to their mother. I couldn't stop her when she attacked me, no matter how much it would please me to tear that head of pink hair from its body.
I miss Rachel, a lot. Awake or asleep, she constantly preoccupies my thoughts. But even though I don't know what she's doing with her life, I can assure you that it's great because she's Rachel Berry. And I love her.
And nothing could change that.
Tell me what you want, what you really really want.
• Some of you were saying before that Santana shouldn't actually be dead, and neither should Sebastian. Should I bring them back?
• Which Glee characters do you guys want in here that aren't present? So far, I know Blaine, Brittany, and Jake haven't been included yet.
• Who's this Ryder kid that I keep hearing about? (Because of the lightning strike, I have no tv at home, so I only know about Glee happenings when I read fanfics or get updates from friends.)
• Which character should get more screen time?
• I'm not too certain if I'll be adding any more OCs, because that would be one hell of a complicated storyline. But I do want to have you guys be way more involved in this one.
• And no, I won't be making a spin-off called "Letters to Rachel". Tempting, but I have no time.
