"LARABEE'S LADY: WHISKEY AND LULLABIES"

CHAPTER ONE

Title: "Larabee's Lady: Whiskey and Lullabies"

Author: Michelle Heath

Rating: MA for adult language and situations

Summary: Part IIV of "Larabee's Lady" focuses on the silly, crazy, wacky, slapstick things that can happen in Four Corners sometimes.

Date Written: October 20, 2010

Disclaimer: Chris Larabee, Vin Tanner, J.D. Dunne, Buck Wilmington, Josiah Sanchez, Ezra Standish, Nathan Jackson, Casey Wells, Mary Travis, Nettie Wells, Inez, Louisa Perkins and The Magnificent Seven are the property of TM CBS, The Mirisch Group, MGM and Triology Entertainment. Other characters, i.e., Catherine Stewart, Jonathan Stewart, Eloise Stewart, Henrietta Wilkes, etc. are the sole property of the author. The author makes no profit from this work of fan fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first three stories in the "Larabee's Lady" series had some light moments, but also had a lot of angst, hurt, comfort, sadness, etc. This installment is meant to be more light-hearted and just plain silly! Hope you enjoy! Michelle

(Catherine Larabee sighs in her sleep and cuddles closer to the solid warmth of her husband's body. Chris shifts to place his arm around his wife, and he smiles sleepily as his hand rests on her slightly rounded abdomen where their baby is growing. Catherine is in her fourth, almost fifth, month of pregnancy and she's never looked more beautiful. Just as Chris starts to drift back to sleep, Catherine sits bolt upright in bed and nearly pushes him out of it.)

Catherine: "Oh my God, Chris, get up!"

Chris: "What? Is something wrong?

Catherine: "I'm fine, the baby's fine, but you're not going to be if you don't get up this instant! Did you forget we're hosting a barbecue this afternoon and the entire town is coming? We still have a lot to do before our guests get here so Get Up! NOW!

Chris: "It's just now sunup, Catherine. Nobody will be here until one o'clock at the earliest. We have plenty of time."

Catherine: (obviously counting to ten before speaking) No, we do not have plenty of time. Farley and the hands will need help getting everything set up and somebody has to make sure the pits are ready."

Chris: Damn it, Catherine, we've had three wedding receptions and at least three barbecues here, I think we know what we're doing by now!"

(Catherine's emerald green eyes well up with tears as she gets out of bed and walks to her dressing table. Picking up her hairbrush, she starts jerking it through her hair as she whirls around and glares at Chris.)

Catherine: "I get it. I'm fat and getting bigger every day, so you've lost interest in me as a woman!"

Chris: "Where the Hell did you . . (under his breath) God save me from pregnant women!"

Catherine: "What?"

(Chris has gotten out of bed and pulls Catherine into his arms although she is very stiff and there is a mutinous expression on her face.)

Chris: "Sweetheart, you are not fat; you're pregnant with our child and you've never looked more beautiful. I promise you that Mrs. Tyson and Farley have everything under control for the barbecue, and we have absolutely nothing to do right now but go back to bed."

Catherine: "Is that all you ever think about? Taking me to bed?"

Chris: (grinning in spite of himself) "Well, yeah."

Catherine: "So, as far as you're concerned, the only thing I'm good for is . . is a good time in the sack?"

(Chris is ready to growl in frustration because, in the space of less than thirty seconds, Catherine has gone from one extreme to the other. Looking heavenward, he takes a deep breath. Now he's the one looking for patience.)

Chris: "Catherine, I love you, you're my wife, of course I think about taking you to bed all the time. But you are a truly remarkable woman and I am truly thankful to have you in my life."

Catherine: "Oh, God, Chris, I love you so much! I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm acting like such an idiot."

Chris: "All pregnant women get a little . . out of sorts sometimes."

Catherine: "Out of sorts?"

Chris: (groaning) "Not again."