Standard Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Peacemaker Kurogane or the characters, I just like to try to get into their heads occasionally.
Author's Note: This was written as part of an application for a multifandom RPG, so it doesn't really go anywhere - it's just to show how I think of Ayumu. And I do love her dearly.
It had been quite clear to her what would have to happen, once she'd heard Susumu's report for herself. The mission had been compromised, and infiltrating Masuya was now both highly dangerous and absolutely imperative.
She'd let him know in no uncertain terms, of course, just what she thought of his failure and how it reflected on her as his trainer. He was too well-schooled by now to display exactly what he was thinking as he endured the lecture – and she couldn't help but feel a touch of pride at that, at how much he'd learned – but she could tell that he was taking it quite hard.
He was still just a boy in so many ways, still so young, even now. But she was well aware that those in her profession didn't exactly measure their lifespan in decades – not very many of them, at least. She was already defying odds by reaching her twentieth birthday, and there was still so much more for him to learn.
Even now, though, every one of his well-hidden flinches, the slight cant of one shoulder he got when he was trying not to look embarrassed, signs that couldn't be hidden from someone who'd known him from the day he was born – they all made her wince slightly inside, deep down where she'd never admit to it. I'm sorry, Susumu, she whispered in the silence of her heart each time, while her face displayed nothing. There's so little time, so much you have to do to be able to protect yourself. Someday you'll have to be strong enough for both of us, and I don't know of any other way to teach you.
She'd expected the message from Hijikata-san well before it arrived, and greeted its appearance with her usual calm. The assignment had been accepted, arrangements made for others to take over for what had been her duties up until now, and though she'd treated it as just another job she found each of her preparations came with a sense of finality. She somehow knew that this would be it. This would be the last time.
The Choushuu knew about Susumu, and they had to be suspicious of the woman lurking around Masuya. If she took up the role the chances were very high that she would be caught, and there was only one penalty for spying.
But if by that they thought the spy had been eliminated, it left Susumu clear. Safe. And able to continue his work and become who he should be.
All those thoughts drifted through her mind as she stood in the yard, eyes upon the clouds scudding across the half-moon above but not really seeing any of it. "You truly are a hypocrite, Ayumu," she murmured, too soft for the words to reach even her ears. "A ninja has no need of useless emotions. And what are you – "
She cut herself off at the soft scuff of foot on wood behind her, standing unmoving but alert, feeling the subtle press of hidden weaponry within her clothing, ready for her hand. And then... "Yamazaki!"
Ah. The puppy. Ayumu turned slightly toward the red-haired boy, burying her doubts and insecurities and fears deep within before offering him a small smile. "Tetsunosuke-kun..."
