A/N: So this idea hit me a few days ago and I haven't been able to get rid of it sense then. For some reason I've been on a Sai x Sakura focus for a while now. Please let me know what you think.


If there was one thing she would never forget it was the fact that he died with a smile on his face, a real smile

If there was one thing she would never forget it was the fact that he died with a smile on his face, a real smile. Even as she stood in front of the memorial stone, her fingers tracing over his name, she couldn't believe that it was real. How could he be dead when he had just started to truly live? Her eyes were blinded by tears and her heat constricted as her hand ran over the familiar letters over and over again. His name was so short, hardly a testimony to everything he had achieved. Sai, just Sai. The more she looked at it the more she wished he had been allowed to grow like a normal human, he deserved a real name. But, this was a real of a name as he had ever had. As the raw winter air wrapped around her in a numbing hug the pain in her heart was all that reminded her that she was still alive. These were the mornings when she understood why Kakashi was always late.

"Sai…"

The memories were too much for to handle, most of the battles had been blocked out. But, she remembered him, she remembered the blood and she remembered the stench of death that hung stagnant in the air.

They had been fighting for days, Konoha outnumbered the enemy easily 3 to 1 and thus Rain had resorted to guerrilla warfare. The past few hours had been quiet; it should have been the first sign that something was wrong. But, all they had seen was a window of opportunity. Sai accompanied her to Konoha's outpost to the west where an Anbu captain had been dreadfully injured.

The journey there and healing the captain blurred in her mind, the memories were insignificant to in comparison to what happened next.

On the way back they were accompanied by 2 more shinobis who were due to return to base camp by next week. The captain insisted that they all leave together, believing that if they were attacked they'd have to rely on the old idea of strength in number. But, numbers could not save them from what was to come. They left in the morning when the first rays of the sun were touching the horizon. The four of them traveled in silence, embracing the fragile quiet that was so hard to find.

As the sun began to set they were roughly half way back to base and they called a break to rest for a few hours. They had slumped wearily onto the ground and each of them began to pull food out of their packs. The night progressed peacefully enough, as they took turns keeping watch. Before the sun had even begun to appear on the horizon they were preparing to leave again. A thick fog engulfed the area, making the tree limbs slippery and kept it increasingly difficult to see. Sakura sighed as her eyes narrowed in an attempt to better plot out the course back to camp when suddenly a black blur came at her from the corner of her eye. The individual pushed her to the ground. Looking up she found that Sai had been the one to knock her to the ground

"You should be more careful Hag," Sai whispered.

She looked up to see 3 kunai where she had been standing mere seconds before. Meeting Sai's eye she nodded and they slowly stood up. He withdrew his brush while Sakura removed a few senbon needles from her pouch. The two Anbu both withdrew their katanas silently. They scanned the fog covered forest trying to find the enemy, but it was as though the kunai had appeared out of thin air. An ear splitting scream pierced the air as the male Anbu fell to the ground cradling his head in his hands. Cursing under her breath Sakura ran to him, her hand glowing with green chakra.

"Sharingan," she hissed her gaze immediately falling to the ground.

Sai's eyes narrowed at the new piece of information and released a small army of mice to pinpoint the enemy. Next he brought four of his tigers forth to prowl the area around them.

It all happened so fast. The tigers were hit with shots of water and disappeared into a puddle of ink. Then the other Anbu fell to the ground, a senbon needle protruded from the back of her neck. Sai and Sakura stood back to back waiting for the enemy to make their appearance. Slowly Sakura began to fumble with the radio.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you, Sakura," a familiar voice murmured.

Her entire body stiffened as she slowly looked up to meet lifeless onyx eyes.

"Sasuke…"

She took a step backwards, every instinct screaming at her to run. But, was startled out of her fear when Sai's arm brushed up against her. Slowly others forms began to appear through the fog: a woman with choppy red hair, a man with a large sword strapped to his back and another man who had strange markings spreading across his face.

"Still annoying," he smirked.

"What do you want?" Sai asked.

Sasuke's eye flickered to him for a second before returning to Sakura.

"You're in the way," he said to her as if she had asked the question, "Its hard to destroy Konoha's fighting spirit when a medic is bringing comrades back from the brink of death daily."

"So the rumors are true. You really are trying to destroy Konoha," she looked at him with a new found determination. "You've become your brother."

A flash of anger crossed Sasuke's face before returning to its emotionless mask. "Do not speak of things you don't understand."

"So what now Sasuke? Are you going to kill me?" her voice was proud, almost daring him to do so.

"No. Konoha doesn't need a martyr," he let out a cold laugh and threw a kunai at her.

She stood their in shock, unable to move out of the way and once more Sai saved her. He fell to the ground, the kunai protruding from his shoulder.

"We'll see you soon Sakura," he said before turning and disappearing into the forest once more.

Sakura barely heard his words as she focused entirely on Sai's wounds.

"You're going to be fine," she whispered to him even as his blood rushed between her fingers.

He would have been fine, if the kunai hadn't hit that artery…if it hadn't been tipped in poison. Tears fell from her eyes in a constant stream as she pushed more and more of her chakra into the wound. She became lost in her misery until a cold shaking hand reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"You can't save everyone, Hag."

"Shut up! I told you, you're going to be fine."

A raspy laugh escaped his lips as he looked into her determined eyes, "This fits your explanation of what denial is."

As more and more of his blood rushed through her hands, Sakura found herself falling deeper and deeper into despair. She couldn't lose Sai, too many people had died in this pointless war. One more loss would kill her. He deserved a better life than what he had had and he certainly deserved a better death than the one he now faced.


Her hand reached up and felt the tears cascading down her face. Once more Sakura found herself in front of the memorial stone in a world where he was still dead. If only she could go back...if only she could change everything so he could have had the life he deserved. But, that was impossible now. She fell to her knees and let the grief consume her, thinking of the man she couldn't save.