6th story in the Gabriel's Recovery fic. This one has bigger paragraphs than normal for me, ad quite a lot of repeated words and sometimes parts of sentences. From Gabriel and Jack expect this. Don't expect it from Mary. Jack and Gabe both talk about things that have hurt them deeply. They're just trying to tell the other their story.
Family Time
He had forgotten that there were so many people in the bunker now.
Only having gotten in 2 hours worth of sleep, Gabriel felt tired, frustrated and angry at himself. He rubbed at his eyes as he had made his way up from the bedroom halls and into the main area of the bunker and froze at the gathering of people there.
Most were in small groups in the library or war room chatting to each other, but it was a lot of people jammed into a relatively small amount of space. He had been fine with all these people in the camp while in the alternate world, because it was mainly open space. Here, it felt crowded and it boxed him in.
He suddenly felt like he had to pull his wings in to make room for them to fit. Which was a weird thing to think, since humans couldn't see let lone interact with his wings. He slowly made his way around a group of human females talking about the women's products available in this world with smiles on their faces and was reminded of much earlier times in human history.
He made it to the kitchen to find it relatively empty, except for a sad Jack. Now, that won't do at all.
"Hey, kiddo. How old are you, anyway?" he asked, because with how old he looks Lucifer couldn't possibly have fathered him still in the cage. So, some aging up must have happened somewhere.
Jack looked at him with a frown. "6 months old. My mother didn't think the world would be safe for me as a baby."
Gabriel nodded at that, before sighing loudly. "I wanted to apologise to you about my attitude while in the other universe. I've got nothing against you, Jack, it's your father I have trouble with."
Jack growled under his breath and lightly punched the table. "Everyone keeps saying that. But he hasn't done anything to prove it yet."
Gabriel nodded. "Of course not. He's trying to win you over. If he does bad things around you, he knows you'll take our words to heart. But here's the thing, that bad past with him he refused to let me say to you while passing it off as being happy families and nothing was wrong? He killed me, Jack. His own brother. He stabbed me with his blade and killed me dead. Well, it was a copy of me when I still had the power to actually make copies. Point is, that's your father. If it doesn't fit in to what he thinks he needs or wants, it is something to be discarded, and that includes family. It will include you too."
Jack leaned forward to lay his head against his hands. "Maybe he knew it was a copy he killed?"
Gabriel shook his head and patted that adorable fledgling head in front of him. "Nope, he was shocked half out of his mind when I showed back up in his life. He really thought me dead."
To his horror, Jack started crying. Sighing, Gabriel walked around the table to the boy's side and sat down next to him. He began rubbing a hand up and down his nephew's back. "Aww, kid, you're nothing like him. You genuinely care about others and their feelings. You have such huge capacity for love and affection and you're clearly very empathetic towards others. People hate your father because he is none of those things. But don't worry about him. You're loved by my little bro, Castiel and by Sam. I don't know about Dean so much, but he is at least looking out for you."
Jack shook his head. "Dean wants me dead. He only cares so long as he thinks he has to..."
Gabriel blinked at that. "I very much doubt that. Maybe that was true in the beginning, but it isn't now. When he was talking of rescuing his mother, he always added you in too. You're now part of his family. Dean is crazy protective of family."
"But I keep hurting people! I don't mean to, but it still keeps happening."
Gabriel closed his eyes and let out his breath in a rush. "Did you mean to hurt these people, or was it an accident?"
Jack shifted to lean against his side and Gabriel used an arm to tuck him closer to his body. The boy let out a whine, before speaking again. "The person I killed here on Earth was an accident. The ones in the other world, they were led into a trap by me. I was too overconfident and a trap was laid and I led them straight into it. I got them all killed. If that hadn't happened there would be like 5 other people here. 8 including the three who died before getting through the portal."
Frowning, Gabriel let his hands once again set up their pattern of comforting circles. "All of them likely would have died when Michael arrived, like the three at the portal did. As many as got trough would have gotten through, Jack. That's not on you. You got overconfident and people died. As much as it hurts to hear, it happens. It doesn't mean you killed them. Whoever set the trap killed them."
"But they were my responsibility!" Jack stated, shrugging out of his grip and glaring at him as he rubbed at red, irritated eyes.
Gabriel shook his head. "Jack, you're not even a year old. You may not look it, but you're still a baby in ways of the world. You're so new to everything. You were never in charge of those people. If they followed you, they did it of their own will power and were responsible for their own lives. Their deaths are not your fault."
Jack shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the table, going quiet on him. It was clear to see the kid didn't believe him. But, hey, he understood that a traumatising event that would have been for Jack. He also now had the knowledge to understand what that sort of trauma can do to a person. He was suffering from trauma himself.
It made his mind up for telling Jack what had happened. As much as he could spit it out anyway. He still wasn't able to get all the words out of what happened to him, but he could talk about what led up to it.
He heard someone else enter the room. He turned around and found it to be Mary. Gabriel relaxed slightly. Might as well get this over with the once.
"Hey, I want to tell you a story, okay? It's something that happened to me. You see, I had this friend who I trusted and he got me into hiding a long time ago when I wanted to hide from my family, because I had run away from home. Lucifer and Michael's fighting had hurt me a lot and the changes in both of them due to it were too much for me and I left. But this friend knew how I could hide myself and I took him up on it and hid myself until 7 or 8 years ago."
He took a deep breath, went to the fridge and got a can of soda. Soon, he reached in and grabbed another 2. He rejoined Jack at the table, now with the addition of Mamma Winchester.
"Right, so I went into hiding for a very long time, until Lucifer decided he wanted to destroy mankind with his apocalypse. I came out of hiding and fought on humanity's side. I couldn't stand with either of my brothers. Heaven or Hell, both were as bad as each other by that point."
He shook his head, opened his can and took a drink of coke. "Mmm, umm, yeah, so I came out of hiding, sided with humanity and because of Luci's great hate of humanity, he killed me. Well, the copy of me he thought was the real me anyway."
"Wait, your brother killed you?!" Mary said, sounding surprised.
Gabriel grinned at her. "You're surprised by that? You're the only person to ever hurt him and get away alive. Be proud."
She blinked at him, and took a sip from her own can. He turned back to Jack. "Yeah, so I knew I had to go into hiding again, so I went back to my very good friend and he hooked me up with another place to hide out until Lucifer was killed or back in his cage again. I was expecting something bad to happen for a few days but then I stupidly let my guard down, moved to Monte Carlo with three of my friends' sons and started living the life I wanted. For a few weeks, I still expected to be caught by Lucifer, but nothing happened. Soon after Lucifer was put in his cage again and the apocalypse was over and humanity was safe. I partied. Had this huge party with...well, a lot of people I liked. That night, while I was in bed asleep, a bag with symbols strong enough to even hold a fully powered archangel was thrown over my head and I was carried away from my safe haven."
He stopped to have another drink because this was when he met Asmodeus. He took a deep breath and moved on with his story. "I was knocked out at some point. I woke up with half my Grace gone to see Asmodeus looming over me. By that point he had thrown me in shackles that would hold a normal angel and I couldn't break them because I didn't have the power to."
He ran a hand through his hair. "Soon after that, he sewed my mouth shut so I couldn't talk and he broke my hands so I couldn't snap my fingers and he...well, he did other things that I am not telling you."
Jack nodded at him, his eyes looking huge in his head from how wide they were opened at hearing about his stolen Grace and his mouth being sewn shut.
"Turns out my very good friend had me sold to the Prince of Hell because I apparently went back on a word I made so long ago that I couldn't interfere with my family's fights ever again."
Jack's eyes got even wider than that and he heard Mary swear under her breath.
"You mean that your friend who you trusted sold you into slavery?" Jack asked, his voice showing just as much shock in its tone as his wide eyes did.
He nodded. "Yep. So, tell me Jack. Was it my fault? I had to step in to save Sam and Dean and my friends. Hell, I helped save the world, regardless of what the Winchester's may tell you, because this is the closest place to a home I have. But because I stepped in I voided my deal that I thought was void in that situation and it would have been if Odin hadn't been killed too."
"Your friends were Pagan Gods?" Mary asked.
Gabriel nodded. "Yeah, I disguised myself as one of them and lived in relative harmony for centuries. As soon as they knew what I was they turned on me. Except for my friend, Loki, he always knew. I saved him and he helped me become him."
Mary laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. He grinned at her.
"So, what was I supposed to do in that situation? Let myself be killed by my homicidal brother, or try to get away and help as best I could behind the scenes. What was the trap? When was it sprung? Was it my fault I wanted to live and went back to someone I trusted with my life and was betrayed? I...this whole mess is confusing and horrible and I'm still reeling from it. I understand what it feels like to blame yourself for things that aren't your fault, Jack. Believe me, I know what happened to me wasn't my fault. I was an idiot, but it wasn't my fault. But I still blame me for what happened anyway."
He hoped the message got through because he couldn't speak through the lump in his throat and he could feel tears on his cheeks but didn't remember when he had stated crying. Damn it, he hoped Sam wasn't right and he'd be crying every time he thought of this, because it was always on his mind nowadays.
"Aww, this isn't fair. I'm supposed to be the adult here looking after you," he stated, letting his head drop to his hands on the table. "Sorry kid, I'm a mess right now."
"You were tortured. I was too, by Michael."
Mary patted his shoulder. "If it helps so was I."
Gabriel managed to get control of his emotions enough to laugh wetly at that one. "Heh, is anyone in this family group of yours, not tortured?"
Mary hummed at him before replying. "No, I'm pretty sure all of us have been tortured at least once."
He sniffed and nodded his head looking up to see Jack staring at him. His eyes were still wide open. He turned to look at Mary and grinned at her. "Does that mean I can be part of your family too? I've lost both of mine now."
With that, Mary hugged him close. "I don't really think it's up to me, but I do think I have a tendency like my boys to take in homeless angels who are good and in need of it."
He hugged her back and held on for dear life. He knew she would die again pretty soon, either from hunting or old age, it didn't matter to him, but she still accepted him. He had begun thinking only Sam would.
It was that scene that the Winchester boys saw when they walked themselves into the kitchen for a late breakfast.
As if to lighten the mood, Sam smiled brightly at all of them, ignoring the tears on their faces. "Oh good, you're all up. I was thinking of taking the Impala and Castiel's truck downtown so we can do some shopping for the people here. We're going to need a lot of food. They're going to need their clothes cleaned and darned. And we need to get a whole wardrobe for you, Gabe."
Jack seemed to brighten at this. "Oh, can I go? I want to go shopping with Uncle Gabriel. I can show him the sweet shop!"
With that Gabriel stared at his nephew with a wider grin making its way on his face. "And those words, Kiddo, those words prove you are family."
A sweet tooth regardless of not needing to eat must run in the archangel line. It was the proudest he had been so far of Jack.
He hoped he had more pleasant surprises and less of the bad.
