Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to Joss Whedon and Tim Burton.

Author's Note: After seeing Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland I was inspired. I started wondering what things would be like if time passed differently between worlds and Alice wasn't around to slay the Jabberwocky, so they took the next best thing. Enjoy Buffy in Wonderland.

"Alice! You're back!"

***

When Buffy finally came to her senses she was overwhelmed by the dull ache in her bones and the sight of her surroundings. Judging by the pain and the beauty that engulfed her, it seemed she had once again ended up somewhere she shouldn't be.

Where ever she was it certainly wasn't Sunnydale. Unless Sunnydale had recently sprouted a giant mushroom forest, which Buffy thought was unlikely. She tried to shift her weight to stand up but her muscles groaned in protest.

"Okay, no standing," she muttered. "I can do that." She looked up from her spot on the ground and could see all manner of strange creatures. Either she was dreaming, or she had a concussion. Either scenario was better than facing reality – Buffy Summers had once again entered another world.

Squeezing her eyes shut Buffy tried to remember what had taken place during the past twenty-four hours. Unfortunately all that came to mind was absolute nonsense. It was becoming increasingly likely that she had a concussion. Her last conscious thoughts were of chasing a white rabbit in a waistcoat down its rabbit hole. Which made no sense.

***

When Buffy finally awoke she found herself in the company of the same white rabbit which had led her astray. Also watching her were two fat, bald boys, a dodo bird, a dormouse and a caterpillar. Curioser and Curioser. This is a just a dream, she told herself.

"Anyone wanna tell me what's going on here?" she asked, finally glad to have control of her muscles again. She sat up and brushed the dust off her jeans.

"See! I told you it's the wrong Alice!" shouted the mouse. "Our Alice would never talk like that! Or wear clothes like that! She's a fake!"

"I'm more real than you mouse boy. You're just part of a dream," she told him.

Completely ignoring the dormouse the caterpillar turned to her. "Who are you?" it asked.

"How 'bout you tell me first?" Buffy countered.

The caterpillar sighed. "I am Absolem. And who are you?"

Buffy paused testing out the strange name in her mind. Definitely a dream. "Buffy Summers."

"But who are you?"

"I told you, Buffy Summers."

"You're hardly Alice," it drawled.

"Well that's a relief. I'd hate to have been going by the wrong name all these years," she snapped. "Listen, if we're done with this little moment here, can someone just point me in the right direction on how to get out of here. Or maybe pinch me so I can wake up?"

"Would you like me to stab you?" the dormouse asked.

"That would be quite helpful actually," she replied.

The dormouse raised its sword and plunged it into Buffy's foot. It didn't wake her up but the jolt of pain certainly helped to clear her mind. "I don't suppose one of you will tell me where I am?" she finally asked.

"Why you're in Underland of course," said the dodo.

"You called it Wonderland when you were last here," the white rabbit added.

"I'm sorry but I've never been here before. I think mouse boy is right. I'm the wrong girl."

The caterpillar exhaled, releasing a plume of smoke. "I said you were hardly Alice, but you are absolutely right."

"And in some language that's English?" Buffy huffed.

"How can she be the right girl but not Alice?! We need Alice to slay the Jabberwocky."

Buffy's ear perked up. "Slay? Now you're talking my language."

The white rabbit scurried forward and brought out a long scroll. It unrolled it until it Buffy saw a girl in armour about to slay a massive dragon.

"You want me to slay that?" she asked. It didn't look like that big a deal. She'd taken down bigger baddies on the Hellmouth. And maybe, if she took down the Jabber-whatever she could go home. She had people who needed her.

"No, no, no!" shouted the mouse. "We need Alice to slay that. Alice Kingsley. Not Buffy Summers."

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "You're gonna have a slight problem with that scenario then."

"Why?" they asked in unison.

"Alice Kingsley has been dead for over a hundred years. She was my great-great grandmother."

***

Sorry it's short. The chapters that follow will be longer!