Disclaimer: I own nothing from the wonderful world of J.R.R. Tolkien. Nor do I own the jingle bells song. The second verse of which I have decided not to create here b/c the original version of the second verse is so entertaining in it's pervertedness itself.

Also, yes I know that "away" and "lace" do not rhyme. I don't care. Nobody said it was perfect.

(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Run you orcs, run you orcs,

run you orcs away

oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace

Run you orcs, run you orcs,

Run you orcs away

Oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace

Dashing through the fields

Wielding Leggy's shampoo

Trying to find a weak spot

To make them all frou frou

We love to torture orcs

They're ugly and they're mean

It also is quite funny

To watch the ghosties turn them green

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

Run you orcs, run you orcs,

run you orcs away

oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace

run you orcs, run you orcs,

run you orcs away

oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace

(big finish)