Chapter 1 - Mental trouble and time travel

Me: It was a random time after the events of Star Ocean The Second story. The party was random too, mostly because Noel was in it. And somehow, some unique events from both Claude's and Rena's scenarios had happened. Some said it was the Power of Gameshark, some said that a wizard did it. I believe that it was the wizard, since in this fanfiction Expel is already a developed planet. Well, actually it's just meand my inability to create logical stories. And my English sucks somewhat too. By the way, Star Ocean The Second Story belongs to tri-Ace and SquareEnix. And oh, Chrono Trigger belongs to SquareEnix too. Wonder why I mentioned that... Anyway, to the story! Oh, one thing to say: If I make fun of your favourite character and you get offended, I couldn't care less. And I also can't handle Frog's grammar. It's just so stupid! I'm sorry, but it is!

Ashton's luck was bound to change. He closed his eyes and waited and waited...

Woman in the TV: And the last number is... three!

Ashton took a look at his ticket and started to scream like a little girl.

Ashton: I won the lottery! Can you believe it? I won!

Rena: Oh yeah. You won. Go and get your prize.

Ashton: Of course!

As Ashton left, the others started to giggle.

Rena: I bet he gets hit by a car.

Claude: No, the yaoi fangirls will kidnap him before that.

Celine: Claude dearest, that's so harsh! I think he'll just meet up with an old friend.

Rena: What's so terrible about that?

Celine: That old friend might be XINE...

Claude and Rena: Oh...

So anyway, Ashton was walking down the streets of Cross when he saw Dias coming by.

Ashton: Hi Dias! I won the lottery!

Dias: That's great! How are you going to use your the money?

Ashton: Well, I'm going to buy a spaceship, new helmets for Gyoro and Ururun, a wedding ring...

Dias: Gyoro and Ururun? Who are those?

Ashton: The dragons on my back. That should be obvious.

Dias: Yeah... ummm... Hey Ashton, I have to call a really good friend of mine now. Just stay there.

Ashton: Okay.

Dias went behind a nearby tree and started to whisper something to his phone. He looked pretty nervous. Ashton wondered what was going on. After something like five minutes Dias shutted up his phone and went back to Ashton.

Dias: So Ashton, what do you think of the weather today?

Ashton: Eh, it's great. I really need to go now.

Dias: Not yet, let's talk about that tree over there. It's so beautiful, isn't it. Oh, the nature...

Ashton: Have you been smoking or did Noel do something to you?

Dias: Ehehehee... Let's talk about Claude, then.

Ashton: Dias, are you trying to tell me something? Are you...?

Ashton couldn't finish his sentence as some guys in white coats crabbed him.

Ashton: What is this?

Dias: Ashton, I'm so sorry, but you need this. First the barrel thing, then the dragons.

Ashton: The dragons do exist!

Dias: Oh, do they? Why can't anyone else see them?

Ashton: Rena can, she named them! And Claude and Celine can see them too! And Precis! Everyone else can see them but you! You're the crazy one!

Dias: Hey doctor, can you see any dragons?

Doctor: No, I can't. This boy is mentally ill.

Dias: There! Admit it, Ashton, you need help. And this doctor here helped me too when I still had suicidal thoughts.

Ashton was locked up to the back of the white car and all he could think of was burning Dias to a crisp.

Ashton was alone. In a room with white walls. Everything was white. WHITE WHITE WHITE.

Ashton: Gyoro, Ururun... you do exist, right?

Gyoro: Aw, awrk!

Ururun: Awroo, awroo!

Ashton: I always wished that you wouldn't exist but now when that might be the truth...

Gyoro: Awrk?

Ashton: Please, Tria give me a sign, any sign...

Ashton's praying was interrupted by a loud bleebing sound and a sudden flash of light. When he opened his eyes, he noticed a blonde girl with light blue harem pants and a bow looking at him.

Girl: Oh, you're awake! Now, let me name those cute guys sticking out of your back.

Ashton: Wait a minute...

Girl: This one with popping out eyes, he can be Poppy!

Gyoro: AWRK?

Girl: And this one with weepy eyes, he can be Weepy!

Ururun: AWROO?

Girl: And you can be Gloomy!

Ashton: WHAT?!

Girl: Nice to meet you, Gloomy, Poppy and Weepy! I'm Marle!

Ashton: Nice to meet you, Marle. What is this place?

Marle: This is the Guardia Forest! It protects the Guardia Castle! That's where I live!

Ashton: So you're a princess?

Marle: Oh Gloomy, I didn't mean to deceive you. I am princess Nadia. My father is King Guardia XXXIII.

Ashton: Oh, what a suprise.

Marle: That's right! I have to introduce you to my friends! It'll be so fun!

Ashton: Tria, I didn't mean this kind of a sign!

Marle: Hi Crono!

Crono: ...

Marle: I want you to meet my new friends! This is Gloomy, this is Poppy and this is Weepy!

Crono: ...

Marle: Did you hear that, Gloomy? He said nice to meet you!

Ashton: I sure heard that.

Ashton thought that maybe Tria was punishing him for something by sending him to these two retards. Maybe he should help them or something. At least it couldn't get any worse. Or that's what he thought before some woman came to him.

Woman: So you're Crono's new friend. He seems to have lots of weird friends.

Ashton: And you are...?

Woman: I'm Crono's mom. Nice to meet you.

Ashton: Sure...

Ashton decided to run for it. He had just gotten out of the door when he bumped into Her. She was so unique, so strange and her glasses were so perfect for her. She was everything Ashton could ever dream of.

Marle: Hi Lucca! So you already met Gloomy, Poppy and Weepy?

Lucca: Huh?

Ashton: Hahahahaa. She's funny. My name is Ashton, the red one is Gyoro and the blue one is Ururun.

Marle: What? Why didn't you tell me?

Ashton: Because you're annoying.

Marle: If you can call me Annoying, I can still call you Gloomy!

Ashton: All right, Annoying. Anyway, Lucca, tell me about yourself!

Lucca: I'm an inventor and my mom is crippled.

Ashton: Great!

Lucca: What?

Ashton: It's great that you're an inventor! But I'm very sorry about your mom's legs. Seriously.

Lucca: What's so great about me being an inventor?

Ashton: One girl I know is an inventor. She's called Precis. You should meet her.

Lucca: Why? Because you have a inventor girl fetish and you are dying to see two inventor girls together?

Ashton: No, no. It's not that...

Lucca: Oh, then, what is it? I'm very interested...

Gyoro: Awawawawrk!

Ururun: Awawawawroo!

Ashton: Stop laughing, you guys! It's just that... well... I admit that I like smart girls, but... I already have a fetish.

Lucca: And that fetish is...?

Ashton: Barrels.

Ashton already regretted telling Lucca about his barrel fetish. She was sure that Gyoro and Ururun affected his brain in a negative way. She also wanted to prove it.

Lucca: Ashton, don't move or it will hurt like hell.

Ashton: Thanks.

Lucca: You're welcome.

Lucca pulled a lever and a massive electric shock went through Ashton's body.

Ashton: It hurts!

Gyoro: AWRK!

Lucca: I told you not to move.

Ashton: You'll pay for this, foolish woman.

Lucca: Huh... Your voice... it's different...

Ashton stood up and glared at Lucca.

Ashton: Humans... Seems like we were wrong about them.

Lucca: You're so messed up.

Ashton: Silence! Now, fight against me to prove you're worthy of living!

Lucca: If you insist.

BATTLE STARTS

Music: Mighty Blow

Lucca VS Ashton

HP 999 HP 9999

MP 99 MP 999

Lucca: Oh crap.

Ashton: I will win.

Lucca: That sounded so cheesy!

Ashton: Be quiet. I'll let you start.

Lucca: Okay.

Lucca stands still.

Ashton: Why aren't you doing anything?

Lucca: I'll have to wait until my ATB meter goes up.

Ashton: Well I don't, and I'm getting bored. I'll start!

Ashton runs fastly towards Lucca.

Lucca: Even Lavos can't do that!

Ashton reaches Lucca and attacks.

Ashton: Take thi-

Ashton gets hit from behind.

Ashton: I'm sorry, everyone...

Ashton falls down.

Lucca wins.

6000 EXP

30 FOL

Lucca: What kind of money is this? And what's with the gigantic amount of EXP?

BATTLE ENDS

Lucca: Frog, you rock!

Frog: Thou art fine too.

Lucca: Eww, don't try to hit on me. Anyway, go and bring Marle here. I need her to heal this guy.

Frog: But...

Lucca: Go already.

Frog: If I must.

Marle: Wake up, Gloomy!

Ashton: No!

Marle: Why not?!

Ashton: I hate you!

Marle: WAKE UP OR I'LL SCREAM!

Ashton: Like I care!

Marle: Well, I did warn you...

The shriek was inhuman, it sounded like a dying crow, an angry bear and Indalecio at the same time. Ashton opened his eyes immediately and looked at the horrifying creature that had made the sound.

Ashton: What do you want?

Marle: Nothing, Lucca just told me to do that.

Lucca: I don't recall asking you to destroy my ear-drums!

Marle: What are ear-drums? Some kind of little drums you put in your ears?

Lucca: :facepalm:

Ashton: Shut up, Marle.

Lucca: Yeah, shut up. Anyway, Ashton, where are you from? You can't be from here.

Ashton: Why not?

Lucca: Your battle system. It's different.

Ashton: Oh, that's... Well, I'm from a planet called Expel. I was accidentally teleported here.

Marle: So you're an evil alien, just like Lavos! What do you plan to do with our planet?

Ashton: I don't really care about your planet.

Marle: That's what Lavos said before he started the destruction!

Lucca: What? Lavos said that to you?

Marle: Yeah, it was in 12,000 B.C. And then he said that he loved me so deeply and that he wanted to...

Lucca: Stop. Now.

Ashton: Yeah. Nobody wants to hear the rest.

Marle: Why not? I thought that Lavos was very sexy!

Lucca: It was a gigantic space bug!

Marle: Well, it's still not as bad as you liking robots!

Ashton: Ewww... You both...

Lucca: What about you? You like barrels!

Ashton: In a total non-sexual way!

Lucca and Marle: Yeah right...

Ashton: Seriously, it's platonic!

Lucca: Sure it is. And oh, there's another thing I wanted to ask you...

Ashton: What is it?

Lucca: Why did you attack me when I was doing that test to you? I thought you liked me.

Ashton: I do like you! But Gyoro and Ururun don't.

Lucca: What do you mean by that?

Ashton: They sometimes take over my body. It doesn't happen often but it's very nasty. Especially when they decide to read my mind. And sometimes I ACCIDENTALLY read their minds and they get really mad at me.

Lucca: Hmmm... very interesting...

Lucca took out her notebook and started to write something. Ashton thought that she was writing something like: "I luv Aston so so much" but she was actually writing: "Ashton is one strange freak. I wonder if everyone in his planet is like that." Marle was sitting around usefulness. Suddendly the door opened and a middle aged man came in.

Man: Lucca, what did I say about creating strange monsters?

Ashton: Hey!

Lucca: But dad, it's just so exciting! And I promise, I won't do it ever again.

Man: Alright, then. Now would you introduce me to your creation?

Lucca: Sure thing! Ashton, this man here is my father Taban. T-A-B-A-N. And father, this is Ashton. He's a new kind of creature.

Ashton: Hey Lucca, how come you still live with your parents even though you're already an adult? I can understand why Marle is still living in the castle, i mean, she's a princess and she's also too stupid to live alone. And Crono, he can't even talk! But you are so smart that you should be just fine.

Lucca: ...

Taban: Good work, Lucca. That thing is already smarter than you!

Taban left. Lucca took her gun and pointed Ashton with it.

Lucca: You'll die for making fun of me!

Ashton: It was the truth!

Lucca: That's the point!

Marle: Lucca! Stop it!

Ashton: Why are you on my side?

Marle: You've been very mean to me, but I can't hate you. I can only hate people who have slept with me.

Ashton: You'll never hate me then.

Lucca: Be quiet! This is not a game! I'll shoot both of you!

Ashton: Let's make a deal, OK? I'll wear a pink dress and sing Barbie girl if you let us go!

Lucca: I can make you do that when you're dead.

Ashton: You wouldn't dare!

Lucca: That's what you think. Bwahahahaa...

Lucca really would have killed two people if it weren't for one certain person. As soon as this person came to the room, Lucca hid her gun and Marle became angry. As for Ashton, he just had to give this person a big hug.

Ashton: Rena! It's really you! I thought I would never see you again! I love you so much!

Marle: Ummm, you know...

Ashton: Not now, bimbo! My friend has come to save me!

Lucca: Oh, so you already know Magus?

Ashton: What?

Magus: Get off me.

Ashton: I am very sorry, Sir! I just mistook you for someone else!

Magus: Get. Off. Me.

Ashton: Yes Sir!

Lucca: See, Ashton. This is the End of Time. Those are time portals. That bucket leads to the day of Lavos. Behind that door is Spekkio. That cool flying machine is Epoch.

Ashton: Okay, but who's that old guy?

Lucca: He's Gaspar. And I've got to warn you, he's been here alone for eternity. He'd do anything that moves.

Ashton: You didn't have to tell me that.

Lucca: And still I did. Anyway, the reason you're here is that in 65,000,000 B.C there's a mystical portal. It just might send you back to your planet.

Ashton: What if it doesn't?

Lucca: Like I cared. Now, choose a team mate. Just one team mate.

Crono - The silent protagonist who looks way too familiar

Marle - Mary Sue

Lucca - She's nuts

Frog - A talking frog, seriously!

Robo - A robot with feelings (who the hell came up with these characters?!)

Magus - He will kill you

Ashton: I'll pick... Frog.

Lucca: Frog? Why?

Ashton: Because he understands me the best.

Lucca: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying.

Ashton: That's what I meant.

Lucca: Oh. Now I must tell you that when you get to 65,000,000 B.C, you must go to Ioka village and find a woman called Ayla. She will help you. Goodbye, Ashton. I hope you'll never come back.

Ashton: Goodbye, Lucca.

Ashton and Frog jumped into Epoch. Frog pushed some buttons and so the flying timemachine went away. After that, Robo went to Lucca.

Robo: Why was I ignored in this story, Lucca?

Lucca: Who said you were going to be ignored, Prometheus?

Robo: When I think about it carefully, no one said that, Madam Lucca...

Lucca: That's right, my dear...

Marle: I'm gonna throw up.

Crono: ...

Ashton: So, this is 65,000,000 B.C...

Frog: Very true, and this place be Mystic Mountains. Many strange things hath happenth here.

Ashton: Like what?

Frog: If I was thee, I would not ask such questions.

Ashton: OK, I won't.

Ashton started thinking about how pretty his shoes were and how his scarf mixed his accessories, including the dragons. And that's when Ashton realized it. He loved that damn scarf. He wore it all the time, even if he was going to dehydrate. What a lovely scarf it was... Eventually Ashton realized that his thoughts were rather embaressing and he should be thinking about something else.

Ashton: What kind of strange things happened here?

Frog: Magus and Marle hath their wedding.

Ashton: That's it? I've heard about stranger things. Like Rena almost getting married to Alen at the very same mine where I met Gyoro and Ururun for the first time. Something is fishy about that mine...

Ashton told Frog all kinds of stuff about his friends and their strange relationships. Frog tried to get him to STFU but that didn't work out since Ashton didn't understand the divine language of the interwebs.

Ashton: And also, Chris proposed to Celine after knowing her for ten minutes! He sure doesn't waste time! And that Claude, he thought that he owned Rena after he saved her from that monkey and denied her the right to like her good friend she had known for years. But Rena didn't care and liked Dias anyway. Because of that, Claude refused to eat cake with Rena. She would have had to eat alone if one handsome, serious-minded fighter wouldn't have been there. That fighter, was me.

Frog: Thou might be forgetting about thine tea party with Claude which took place before that incident.

Ashton: Who told you about it?!

Frog: The Entity did.

Ashton: What the hell is Entity?

Frog: I don't know.

Ashton: Great. Now let's just get out of here! We've been here for two hours!

Frog: It was thee who started rumouring about thine friends.

Ashton: IT DOESN'T MATTER! WE JUST CAN'T STAY HERE FOR ANY LONGER!

Frog: Sheesh, chill out dawg.

Ashton: What?

Frog: Oops, I meant... Worrying isn't a wise thing to do.

Ashton: Oh. But if you didn't notice, we're still here talking some random crap. Let's g-

Ashton's mouth was covered by a robot's hand.

Robot: I am Gato, Lucca created me, just because she's a bitch, and now I must be so supervillainy...

Frog: Programming issues, eh?

Gato: Shut up, you fatass frog, just go to update your angsty blog, that's the only thing you're worth of...

Frog: Well, atleast mine blog makes sense, unlike thine lyrics.

Gato: Hey, don't you mock me, or I'll cut you to pieces, and sell those in that netshop Ebay...

Ashton struggled out of Gato's hold and jumped next to Frog.

Ashton: Okay, I get it, you're a pink, singing cat robot made by Lucca that wants to be a villain. But why did you have to threat me like I was a Mary Sue?

Gato: Well, the matter is such, that you don't have any guts, and I'm not sure if you even have nuts...

Ashton: DRAGON BREATH!

Gato burned to a scrap iron and Ashton thanked his dragons for such a good timing. Frog wasn't happy, though.

Frog: He was one good fellow, that Gato, and thou murdered him!

Ashton: But didn't you just...?

Frog: I mocked him at the cause that he was malfuctioning and insulting him be the only way to make him function again.

Ashton: That's bullshit.

Frog: No, it isn't. And this time, I hath to success. I must avenge my friend Gato properly. This time, I shall not fail.

Ashton: Wait! You can't kill me! I'm the Mary Sue!

Frog: Thou art no Mary Sue! Thou art a cruel monster! Die!

Frog started jumping towards Ashton with his sword raised. Because Ashton remembered how Frog had beaten him before, he did the smart thing and ran like a chicken runs across the street, screaming like Zoidberg. Well, not really, but you get the idea, right? No? Too bad. The dragons were sleeping, and because of that Ashton felt sleepy too.

Ashton: Need... to... rest... No... I... must... resist... urge... to... sleep... Must... stay... awake... Huh... who... are... you?

It was a man with red eyes and very cool shoes. If Ashton wouldn't have been so tired, he would have certainly known who it was and freaked out like hell. The man killed Frog with a single blow and disappeared. Ashton wondered why that guy had just appeared and saved his life... And then he fell asleep and saw a dream about The Holy Barrel. When he woke up, he was in a nice little hut. A woman was looking at him in a strange way.

Woman: Oh, you awake? Good. Can Ayla eat snakes?

Ashton: Who are you? Who is Ayla? What snakes?

Woman: Me is Ayla. Those snakes, on your back, can Ayla eat?

Ashton: Oh. In that case, I'm Ashton Anchors. And no, you can't eat the snakes.

Ayla: Ayla don't like you anymore.

Ashton: Ashton don't like you either. By the way, are you Ayla of Ioka?

Ayla: Ayla live in Ioka, yes.

Ashton: That means, you are my guide to the non-time portal.

Ayla: If that so, Ayla guide Ashton to that place. But first, a party!

Ashton: That's nice! Maybe I like you after all...

Ayla: Great great. Come with Ayla, Ashton.

It was night, and the party at the Meeting site had just begun. The people were playing music, singing and dancing. Everyone seemed to be happy, except for one guy who looked very upset.

Ayla: Ayla and Ashton made nice party.

Ashton: Yeah. By the way, my teammate was, ummm... eaten by a bird at the mountain. How to replace him?

Ayla: Easy. Kino here now!

The unhappy guy started to walk towards them. So his name was Kino. Ashton was sure that in some old Earthling language kino was a word for cinema. And Kino did seem like a good actor for an angst movie.

Kino: Yes Ayla?

Ayla: Kino come to an adventure. Ashton there too. To glowing gate.

Kino: Kino no come.

Ayla: What Kino say?

Kino: Kino no come. Ayla like Ashton and no Kino.

Ashton: Oh come on, if she didn't like you, why would she ask you to come along?

Kino: Ayla like Kino?

Ayla: Ayla like Kino best!

The two prehistoric human beings hugged and Ashton decided that he should become a love expert when he gets back to Expel.

Kino: Kino come with Ayla and Ashton! Kino fight too!

Ashton: Great! So what will we do now?

Ayla: We go dance!

Ayla and Kino went dancing together and Ashton went to the soup bowl. He drinked some of the soup and turned green.

Ashton: What is this soup made of?!

Ayla: Is no soup, is Ayla's bathe. Already used.

Ashton collapsed.

Ayla: Adventure begin! Kino, Ashton, no more sleep!

Ashton: But I'm still sick...

Kino: Kino no come now, Kino see sweet dream...

Ayla: KINO, ASHTON, NO MORE SLEEP!

Kino got up as soon as Ayla yelled but Ashton didn't. Ayla decided to use a different kind of strategy.

Ayla: Kino, doubletech with Ayla!

Kino: Yes!

Ayla and Kino: TICKLE TICKLE!

Ashton: No, I get it, no more sleeping!

Ashton rose up and went along with Ayla and Kino.

Ashton: So, how are we going to get there?

Ayla: We fly Dactyl. We go Dactyl's nest first.

Ashton: How long it will take before we get to Dactyl's nest?

Ayla: No long.

They walked. And walked. And walked. Ashton thought that it was the most boring journey of his life until a blue creature came by.

Creature: I am a Nu, and I'm here to let you battle me so that you can get a item from me.

Ashton: I don't have the time for this...

Nu: Time can never run out. It's just an illusion.

Ashton: OK, I'll battle you.

BATTLE STARTS

Music: Battle 1

Ashton VS Nu

HP 9999 HP 1234

MP 999 MP ?

Ashton: Ready you two?

Ashton runs towards the Nu, which stands still just like Ayla and Kino.

Ashton: SWORD DANCE!

Nu trips down.

Ashton wins.

Ashton: That was good workout.

124 EXP

0 G

BATTLE ENDS

The Nu gave Ashton a shovel and ran away.

Ashton: Guess I'll throw this away...

Ayla: No! May be important later!

Kino: Valuable shovel! No lose!

Ashton: Okay, I'll keep it. By the way, I noticed that I don't really need you.

Ayla: Ashton not know where to go. Ayla must show. And company always good. Ashton like friends, right?

Ashton: You're right... Friends are a good thing to have... And you are the nicest people I've met so far in this stupid planet... By the way, how much we still have to walk?

Ayla: Not much, Dactyl over there!

Dactyls were brown, winged dinosaurs but if you didn't know that then you should really go and play Chrono Trigger instead of reading this stupid fic. Anyway, each one of the trio took a Dactyl and Ayla led the two guys.

Ashton: Why can't you have safe living airships, like Synards or something?

Ayla: Ashton no talk. We must be fast.

Ashton: Fine.

The party flew across the prehistorical lands and waters until they arrived to the small, small island where the portal was. Ashton jumped off his Dactyl.

Ashton: I guess this goodbye, then.

Ayla: Ashton go now and have good luck.

Ashton: Me? Good luck? That's ridiculous!

Kino: Kino wish Ashton happy life.

Ashton: Happy lifes to you guys too!

Ashton walked to the portal and disappeared from the world of Chrono Trigger.

Ayla: Ayla now punish Kino for being useless.

Kino: Ayla punish Kino every day.

Me: Next time on Ashton's crossover adventures: Ashton shall find himself in a melting pot and Gyoro and Ururun want to kill the pitiful wannabes. Until then!