Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of the tenth squad was not one to trust people easily. He counted on others as little as possible, barely depending on even those who were considered close to him. He didn't speak or move before thinking and always found himself wondering if he could believe what his friends said. His feelings and memories were closed off to everyone but himself, and his thoughts were little easier to pry. His heart had frozen long ago, losing its faith in others and closing him off. He might as well have been alone in an endless snowstorm.
"Hey! Captain Hitsugaya!"
Toshiro looked up from the work on his desk wearily. He knew that voice; the substitute soul reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki. Something about that voice sent a tiny shiver up his spine.
"What is it?" he called. Ichigo appeared in the doorway, a grin on his face.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing," he said.
Toshiro's eyes narrowed. He could feel the walls of ice already rising up, blocking him off from Ichigo's questions. "Why?"
Leaning against the doorway, Ichigo answered, "Because you're my friend; why shouldn't I wonder how you're doing?" Toshiro just frowned and looked back down at his work, muttering something about people always interrupting him. Ichigo watched, wondering if he should say something.
"Why are you still here?" Toshiro asked without looking up.
Ichigo blinked. Why was Toshiro always so difficult? "What, you just expect me to leave?"
"Yes."
Ichigo sighed, exasperated. "Toshiro, why can't you just rely on your friends?"
Toshiro's eye twitched. "Captain Hitsugaya."
Ichigo sighed again. "Yeah..." He waited a little longer, but Toshiro was ignoring him. "Well, I'll see you later, I guess," he mumbled. Toshiro didn't move. Feeling unaccomplished, Ichigo left.
Standing in the hall was Rangiku. She looked over her shoulder, recognizing the bright orange hair. She waved, calling, "Ichigo!" Ichigo looked up, forcing a smile.
"Hey, Rangiku," he said. She ran up to him, frowning.
"What's wrong?" she asked. Ichigo let his smile drop.
"It's Toshiro," he admitted quietly. "He's always just so..." He paused, searching for the right word. "Cold," he finally said. Rangiku nodded sympathetically.
"He doesn't like to tell people what he's thinking," she said, smiling sadly. "He keeps things to himself. I think he believes that if it's his problem, he has to deal with it himself. He doesn't want to burden anybody else."
"Well that's stupid!" Ichigo burst out angrily. "If he has to do everything by himself, then what the hell are wefor?"
Looking him in the eyes, Rangiku said, "He doesn't see it that way." She shook her head. "Well, I've got some work to do."
"Right, see you."
Rangiku turned to leave, but she paused. "Ichigo," she said slowly, "could you... Help him?"
"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, confused.
"He doesn't show it, but I think he cares about you," she said hesitantly. "Do you think you could get him to open up?"
"Why not you? You've known him for a lot longer than I have."
"That's true, but..." Rangiku gave him a mischievous look. "All we'll ever be is friends. You have the potential to be so much more to him. Good-bye, Ichigo! Good luck." With that, she left, leaving Ichigo alone.
He scratched his head, wondering what she meant. Maybe I'll figure out what she meant later, he thought. For now, I'd better start working on cracking that cold shell of Toshiro's.
Toshiro stood outside the squad ten barracks, feeling the cold chill of the wind on his face. He liked to be alone, without anyone bothering him. He shivered. Winter was coming, his favorite season. Days covered in pure, white snow and silence. That was one of his favorite things about snow; it could muffle all sound, hiding everything beneath the ice.
He stared up at the dark, overcast sky, watching as his breath floated up in small clouds. He wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to be completely enveloped in snow. To be completely obscured and alone.
A hand on his shoulder made him tense and whip around, startled. The flash of brightly colored hair, like fire, was the first thing he saw. Ichigo.
"What do you want?" Toshiro asked blandly.
"You were out here alone, and you looked kind of lonely," Ichigo said, a small smile on his face. Toshiro just stared back at him blankly.
"I wasn't lonely," he said, a bit defensive. "I like to be by myself, and I would appreciate it if you left."
"Is that really true?" Ichigo challenged.
Toshiro did his best to hide his anger from his answer. "Yes," he said curtly. "Now go away." Ichigo shook his head.
"I don't believe it," he declared. "There isn't a single person who likes to be alone, not really."
Toshiro gaped. "And how, may I ask, do you figure that?"
Shrugging, Ichigo replied simply, "Because it's true. People are drawn to each other naturally." He gave Toshiro a cautious look. "I could see it in your face. You hate being alone, but you're too scared you'll be hurt by other people."
Toshiro's eyes flashed dangerously. "You don't know anything about me," he growled.
"You're right, I don't," Ichigo retorted. "Nobody does! You won't let anyone in, and it's really starting to get on my nerves."
"Maybe I don't want people to know what I'm thinking!" Toshiro shouted, unable to stop himself from raising his voice. "Maybe I am scared, or maybe I'm not; what does it matter? Why do you care at all? They're my feelings for me to handle alone!"
They glared at each other, Toshiro panting slightly from his outburst. He wasn't used to expressing so much emotion at once and he mentally chastised himself for it. He pretended he didn't notice the tiny feeling of relief rising inside him,
Suddenly, Ichigo smiled and ruffled Toshiro's hair, taking the short captain by surprise. "That's more like it!" he said with a grin.
"What?" Toshiro blinked, wondering what he was missing.
"You finally let loose a little," Ichigo explained. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before. You're expression was terrifying."
Toshiro flushed and mumbled, "Shut up." This made Ichigo chuckle and ruffle his hair again. Toshiro pushed Ichigo's hand away and said, "And don't do that. It makes me feel short."
"But you are short," Ichigo said bluntly, his eyes innocent.
"Shut up!" Toshiro cried, his fists clenched. This just made Ichigo laugh more.
"Thanks for yelling at me," he murmured when he was done laughing.
"That's a stupid thing to thank me for," Toshiro muttered, crossing his arms.
"But I mean it." Ichigo bent down and uncrossed Toshiro's arms. "Don't cross your arms like that. It closes you off even more." He smiled softly and stood up. "See ya!" Then he was gone.
Toshiro stared after him, more emotions than he knew he had running around inside him. He put his hand to his heart, feeling it pulse wildly. Closing his eyes, he let out a shaky breath.
The ice was chipping.
"Hey! Hey!"
Toshiro opened his eyes slowly, yawning. Someone was shaking him awake. He look up sleepily to see Ichigo standing over him.
"Wha... What do you want?" he asked, his voice slurred from sleep. Ichigo's gaze was soft and warm.
"You fell asleep on your desk," he said. "It didn't look very comfortable." Toshiro looked down. So he had fallen asleep while working, had he? "Besides, I wanted to talk to you," Ichigo continued,
Stifling a yawn, Toshiro sat up. "Sorry, I have work to do. I can't talk right now." Ichigo put his hands on his hips and gave him a look that said, "Really?" For some reason, that look made the hair on the back of Toshiro's neck stand up.
He frowned, slightly disturbed by how easy it was for Ichigo to solicit emotions from him. It was frightening. He decided to get back to work to distract himself, but his eyelids were heavy and the words looked like just a bunch of black lines. He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of the mess of scribbles.
"You look exhausted," Ichigo commented. "You should really take a nap, Toshiro."
"It's Ca-" Toshiro started but was interrupted by a yawn.
"I rest my case."
He shot Ichigo a glare and said, "I'm a little tired, but I have a lot if work to do. I'll take a nap when I'm done."
Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "If you keep trying to work, you won't get anything done. If you take a nap now, then you'll be wide awake to finish later," he reasoned. Toshiro had to admit it made a lot of sense, but he was stubborn.
"I don't have much left to do," he lied. "I'll finish it quickly. Now could you please lea-" A yawn stopped him again. He rubbed his eyes, blinking furiously.
Suddenly, he found himself being lifted into the air. "Hey!" he yelled, struggling. "Put me down!" Ichigo chuckled and carried him to the couch. He set him down gently before sitting next to him.
"Here, you can lean on me," Ichigo said. Toshiro shook his head, but the taller male pulled him close. He was too tired to resist, so he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be cuddled.
Besides, Ichigo's embrace was really warm...
Ichigo looked down at the tiny body in his arms, feeling the need to hold him close. Toshiro's skin was pale and cold, and Ichigo did his best to warm him up. He stroked the captain's white hair, enjoying the way it felt between his fingers. Toshiro snuggled closer in response, startling Ichigo.
He must be asleep,he thought. Still, it was really cute. He kissed Toshiro's forehead softly, earning a small moan from the small male. He chuckled.
"You're too cute for your own good," he murmured, gazing at Toshiro fondly. He had no idea where this sudden rush of affection had come from, but he kind of liked it. Toshiro sighed happily, smiling in his sleep.
"Hey, what'cha dreaming about?" Ichigo asked. He hadn't expected an answer but Toshiro mumbled something in reply. "What was that?" He repeated it, and Ichigo could have sworn he heard his name.
"No way," he told himself. "Why would Toshiro be dreaming about me? Anyway, that's creepy." Yet, for some reason he wanted Toshiro to be dreaming about him.
He nuzzled the top of Toshiro's head affectionately, taking in the fresh scent of snow that seemed to surround him. Until he had met Toshiro, Ichigo hadn't realized snow had a smell, but somehow he kept finding himself paying close attention to little details like that. Come to think of it, why was he so fascinated by the icy captain?
Movement startled him out of his thoughts. He looked down and saw Toshiro was waking up. Smiling, he said, "Hey, sleepy-head. How was your nap?"
Toshiro stared up at him groggily, rubbing his eyes. "Mm... Ichigo...?" he whispered. He lay his head back on Ichigo's chest and closed his eyes as he began to drift off again. Suddenly, he tensed and jumped up, looking around wildly.
"No!" he shouted, panicked. "I-I slept too long! I have so much work to do, I won't be able to finish it in time!" He froze, remembering Ichigo's presence, and immediately his emotionless mask went back on.
"I apologize, Kurosaki," he said. "Now, I have a lot of work to do, so I would appreciate it if you left."
Ichigo stood up and stepped closer to the shorter male. "Toshiro-"
"Captain Hitsugaya!" Toshiro snapped, showing a brief flare of anger. He hid it quickly, but Ichigo had already seen. "Look, could you just leave me alone for now?" Ichigo looked at him silently for a moment, meeting those cold turquoise eyes.
Finally, he nodded. "Fine. I'll come back later."
He turned and was about to leave, when Toshiro mumbled, "Ah, Kurosaki... Th-Thank you... You were right about the nap..." Ichigo looked back at Toshiro, noticing the light blush dusting his face. Toshiro bit his lip and added hurriedly, "That's all! You are dismissed."
Ichigo grinned. "Right." He left without another word, silently chuckling.
Toshiro was sitting on the steps outside his building, watching the light snowfall. He narrowed his eyes when he spotted that orange hair yet again. "Kurosaki," he growled, "why are you bothering me... Again?"
Ichigo looked at him innocently. "I just wanted to check on you, Shiro!"
"Hitsugaya!"
He rolled his eyes. "Hitsugaya." He sat down on the steps next to Toshiro, watching him with those dark eyes of his. "If you stay out here too long, you're going to catch a cold."
Toshiro snorted. "Me? I don't think so."
"Still..." Ichigo moved his gaze to the barely snow covered ground. "You can't be too careful."
There were a few moments of silence before Toshiro asked, "Why do you care?"
"I don't want you getting sick!"
"Why does it matter?"
Another awkward pause.
"I can't help it," Ichigo finally said. "I can't help but care about you."
Toshiro shot him a quizzical look. "What does thatmean?"
"Well..." Ichigo started playing with his fingers, avoiding looking at the captain. "We're friends, aren't we?" he said, as if that explained everything. Toshiro sighed.
"That doesn't explain a thing," he muttered. "I want to know why."
"Why not?" Ichigo countered.
"That was childish," Toshiro commented.
Grinning mischievously, Ichigo asked, "I'm not allowed to be childish?"
Toshiro just looked away. "You idiot," he muttered. "Why can't you just leave me alone for once? Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want you around?"
Ichigo winced. "That was cold."
"It's who I am. Get used to it." Toshiro stood up and prepared to leave, but Ichigo pulled him back.
"Wait..." The redhead bit his lip nervously. "Listen, Toshiro-"
"Captain Hitsugaya!" Toshiro growled, his patience wearing thin. "What do you want now?"
Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Why do you always push me away?" he asked quietly, a hint of anger tracing his voice. As if to accent his words, Toshiro brushed his hand away and stepped back.
"S-Shut up," the captain said replied icily. His teal eyes were filled with conflicting emotions he was trying desperately to hide. "You don't understand."
"I understand perfectly!" Ichigo shouted as he stood, towering over the trembling captain. Whether he was shaking out of fear or anger, Toshiro didn't know. "You're just trying to deal with everything yourself! You won't let us help you or tell us what you're feeling. You think you can just hold it all inside! Have you ever thought about how that makes usfeel?"
Toshiro could feel Ichigo's spiritual pressure spiking as his rage rose. The short male stared up at him, unable to move. Finally, he found his voice.
"Th... That's not it!" he stammered. "Kurosaki-"
"That's exactly what it is," Ichigo said flatly, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Do you honestly believe we don't care about you? Don't you get it? When you keep everything to yourself, you're only hurting the rest of us!" He glared at Toshiro, his spiritual pressure pouring off him in waves. It was difficult to stand under such weight.
Toshiro opened his mouth to retaliate, but his voice refused to come out. He looked up at Ichigo, his expression helpless and confused. After a few tense moments, Ichigo's shoulders finally slumped and he gathered the tiny captain in his arms, holding him close.
"You're freezing, Toshiro," he murmured with a sigh. Toshiro couldn't speak, couldn't move. He simply stood there and accepted Ichigo's warm embrace.
Ichigo looked down at him, a small smile on his lips. "You can tell me anything," he assured. "You can cry if you want. Even Captain's cry sometimes. It's not a form of weakness, Toshiro; It's trust. And to trust..." His voice became even quieter. "... Is to love."
There was silence for a moment, quickly broken by a muffled sob. Toshiro threw his arms around Ichigo and hugged him tightly, crying harder than he ever had before.
"I-I'm sorry, Ichigo," he choked between sobs and gulps of air. "I just... I...!" Ichigo shushed him softly and caressed his hair.
"It's okay," he whispered. "I understand." Toshiro hid his face in the taller male's shihakusho and nodded, the tears running down his face hidden from view.
"I trust you, Ichigo," he mumbled. "I'm sorry I felt like I couldn't confide in you... Or anyone..." His body was shaking.
"It's okay," Ichigo repeated. "It's all okay."
Toshiro looked up, his cheeks red and glistening from the tears. "Th... Thank... You..." he whispered. Ichigo hugged him tighter in response.
And so the winter ice gave way to the sun.
Don't you just love this pairing? *trying to contain squeals*
Reviews are appreciated~!
