I never really see any stories mainly about Joshua so I decided to make a humor fic for him! Hope you all like it! Also, I'm in the story as a tactician. I hate the fact that FE8 didn't have tacticians. Refer to Diary of Lute to explain how I got into the FE8 plot. Please review on the way out!
Joshua was walking around Random Inn in Magvel No.17. The unlucky man was doing his usual walk around gambling with his fellow army mates. Well, he got bored after losing for what seems like the millionth time he's lost gambling in his life. Joshua went up to their tactician, Paul looking like he had a question. The swordmaster went up to Paul and asked his question.
Chapter 1: Plot Holes and +1!
"Paul, I want you to send us to the real world."
Paul looked up from his book, "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and answered, "Why?"
Joshua crossed his hands and rubbed his chin with his right hand. He thought for a moment and then replied, "I dunno, plot hole…"
Paul closed his book, put his hand to his head and said, "Oh my god, don't you know the horror of plot holes?"
"…..That they leave holes in the plot?" said Joshua raising his eyebrow.
"Exactly! It makes no sense why you want to go to the real world! Plus readers will complain about the plot holes! And why are you asking me?" Paul asked questioningly.
Joshua went into his thinking pose. The one he did about ten seconds ago. "Well, you're from the real world. So who else would I ask? It's not like anyone else knows how to get to the real world."
"But that STILL doesn't explain why you want to go to the real world!"
"Well, if I go to the real world, I'd be real then! And then some fan wouldn't be writing about my every thought and action!"
"You mean like how I'm controlling your every thought and action right now by writing what you say cause I'm the author? And how other people, some a little obsessive, also write about stories where they control your every thought and action like your some sort of cosmic chess piece that was put on this imaginary world just for the entertainment and laugher of us real folk?"
"Exactly my point!" said the annoyed Joshua. "Oh, and use periods. It saves you from suffocating." Pointed out Joshua
Paul started weezing. "Yeah, those run-on sentances are a real breath-takers."
"So, will you consider sending me and everyone to the real world?"
Paul copied Joshua's thinking pose. The same one a few sentances up. "Hmm, I guess your right. Meet me back here in five minutes."
After five minutes…
Joshua looked around the room in awe. "Woah! It's only been four seconds and the scene suddenly changed! How'd we get to this scene so fast?"
Paul went into the Joshua thinking pose. "I dunno, plot hole I guess," shrugged Paul.
"AGAIN with the plot holes." sighed Joshua.
"Hey YOU started it by making the FIRST plot hole!" exclaimed the tactician.
"Just tell me how you're going to get us to the real world…"
"Well…" Paul reached into his pocket and pulled out a glowing staff with a clock on it. "We shall use THE CHROME STAFF OF DIMENSIONS!" said Paul with an ominous voice.
Colm popped out from behind a couch and yelled, "+1!" Then he ducked and the scene continued.
Joshua raised his eyebrow wondering how the staff could fit in Paul's pocket and how long Colm had been there. "Woah where'd he come from!"
Paul went into the Joshua thinking pose and said, "I dunno, another plot hole I guess."
"We really need to get someone to fill in the holes. With quick dry cement. Before someone trips into one."
"I'm on it!" Paul was about to run off to hire some random overweight construction worker with no life that gets a very low salary and spends it on liquor, which explains why he lives in a boxcar and gets raped by hobos that think raccoons are pretty everyday. Okay that was off topic. And it was also another run-on sentance.
"Wait! We still didn't finish this scene! All you did was add a point-less run on sentance!"
Paul turned around. "Oh yeah! Right!…………...What were we doing again?" Paul asked.
Joshua sighed and said, "You going to use THE CHROME STAFF OF DIMENSIONS-"
Colm popped out of a large flower pot and yelled, "+1!" The thief then ducked back into the flower pot.
Joshua raised his eyebrow and continued, "Right… anyways how does it work?"
"Well, whenever I use it I can go to the real world, Magvel, or a place called Elibe. Or basically any place I want."
Joshua nodded. "Right. That makes sense."
Paul took out a book and handed it to Joshua. "Oh yeah, and this is a book on everything you need to know about the American culture."
Joshua took the book from Paul's hand. "Wow, all I have to do is read this and I'll be an expert in "Makin some scrilla and hanging with my homies?"
Paul nodded. "Basically, yes. And it's "ma homayz." Paul did a gangster pose.
"Woot, Woot! We're going to the real world!" Joshua cheered.
"Don't say "Woot, Woot again…" Paul said slightly disturbed.
"Right."
"Isn't there supposed to be a sentence after your dialogue that describes what your doing? It's a little thing called sentance variety." said Paul raising his eyebrow.
"There doesn't have to be sentance variety."
"There you go doing it again!" sighed Paul.
"Just send us to the real world now!" said Joshua finally putting a sentence after his dialogue. Which was the one right before this sentence.
Paul raised the staff. "Okay Joshua it's time for you to see the power of THE CHROME STAFF OF DIMENSIONS!"
Colm popped out from the side of the screen and yelled, "+1!" and then went off screen again.
Suddenly, Joshua, Paul, and the rest of the army, who pretty much didn't no what was happening, were being sent to the real world!…But where were they sent?……...……Well, Paul's house obviously. I should've ended this as a cliffhanger.
Sorry, it was short. I promise to improve on the next chapter!
