Disease of the Mind

By: Nicole Lopez

Summary: My take on the new Degrassi characters before seeing the new season and … I'm adding a new Latino guy … just to mix it up a bit! One girl deals with feeling secure in her own skin, another covers up her hurt by surrounding herself with as many guys as possible, and the ugly duckling grows into a swan.

A/N: I do not own Degrassi or any characters that appear in this fiction from the actual show. Oh yeah, and cheers to me for writing a Degrassi story that's not focused on Hazel, Manny, or Alex!! And, I might add Craig's little sister Angie and other older background characters like Chester, Mohammed, Fareeza, or Sully, to the plot so stay tuned!! –NL


Chapter One: Eating All the Lies They've Fed

Alli Bhandari

"You're too dark." That statement had hit me harder than I thought it would especially since I'd watched the Tyra show like everyone else. I saw how those women hated themselves so much that they would go through anything just to be lighter. Even though I was dark, I never felt that way before … not really.

And now, with one statement, I was feeling the exact same way. It was tough being a girl like me, but I had always ignored it by being around people who wouldn't make me feel inferior because I wasn't fortunate enough to pass the paper bag test. I loved having friends that looked nothing like me.

Their blonde, red, and light brown hair intrigued me and so did their blue, green, and hazel eyes. At times I wish I'd inherited those features. But my brother Sav and I had inherited my father's dark skin. In fact, I was actually darker than Sav.

Why was it that snow white pale girls killed themselves to get a tan and be darker, but I was darker and everyone was telling me that it was about time to do something about it? I knew I should've never joined this group this, Indian Exchange group. I didn't even really consider myself as Indian. I was Muslim, but everyone just thought that I was Indian so I accepted that. I was much easier being known as the Indian girl than the Muslim girl.

Now, I was told that I couldn't go to the convention and represent our Indian Cultural Exchange group because of it. How stupid was that? But how stupid was I being sitting on the bathroom floor and bawling my eyes out? And even stupider was the fact that I was starting to believe they were right. Lighter Indian girls always got the best of everything and I wanted the best. Maybe there was only one way out of this…


Leia Bai

I heard some girl having a tear bath next to me and it was normally just like me not to care about anyone else unless it was some hot guy that I was into. I didn't mess around with girls because they always turned on me, but this girl was really making me change my mind about everything.

I knocked on the door slightly; a little insecure and nervous about what she was going to say. What if she said she didn't want help from a slut or something like that? Degrassi was a new school for me but I could feel the stares coming from everyone as I walked down the hallway. But, if the slut thing got started here … I swear I was going to kill the next person who called me that, but seriously … why did I care anyway?

If I saw a cute guy and he was giving me the look and I wanted him, I took him and I couldn't help it. I'd tried having a steady boyfriend before, but that ended in disaster. He told me I was too needy and embarrassed me in front of everyone. So, I had sex with his best friend for retaliation.

And with that, I found a clear sense of control and obvious pleasure. I could do what I wanted with whomever, or no one and no one could stop me from doing it.

The only bad thing about this freedom was that it really hurt my sister to see me like this. I can tell she's always watching what I wear and wondering if I'm going to be locked up in some room with a guy that night or not.

But that was back at ballet school. Going to Degrassi was a "new start for me", in the eyes of my sister and my recently divorced mother. But for me, it just meant more possibilities to meet cute boys.

I just couldn't be like my sister even though that's what everyone wanted. She was the stereotypical Asian. Smart, conservative, quiet, and most of all boring. She even has people call her by her Chinese name, Kai-ying but there was no way in hell I was going to go by Bai Liqiu. Leia Bai was much better. It added to my persona as this prima ballerina in the making.

And let me just say that telling guys that I'm a dancer is the best pick up line ever. You can see the wheels turning in their heads and it's hilarious. But girls don't think it's too cool when your body can bend in every possible and impossible way ever.

So you see, I was already called a slut before I actually did anything with anybody. Since when did doing a split become grounds to be the most feared girl in the school? I rolled my eyes just thinking about it.

"Excuse me." The bathroom door that I had just been knocking on flung open, hitting me right on the arm. I really had to work on spacing off so much.

"Umm… sorry to pry but, are you okay?"

"Sure why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I heard crying." I responded. "Have your first few weeks here been that bad?" I wondered, hoping that it wasn't too obvious that I was still grasping for friends. The only one that I had here besides the obligated by birth Kai-ying and my older brother who pretended like I didn't exist, was Danny, who knew all about my adventures as a ballet dancer.

"Must've been someone else." She shrugged me off and started reapplying her make-up.

"We're the only two in here." I continued. "Look, I wouldn't want to admit it either … are you okay though?"

"I'm fine." The girl sighed, angrily. "It's nothing you would get anyway."

"I can't get anything if you don't tell me what's up but … it doesn't matter … I'm Leia by the way." I introduced myself as she turned and gave me a small smile.

"Alli Bhandari. And Degrassi is stressing me out already!" She exclaimed with a small chuckle.

"So … you're a freshman too then?" I asked as she nodded and I started playing around with my hair so I wouldn't just be there watching her re-do her makeup. "Do you know anyone here yet?"

"Unfortunately, I have a brother that goes here." Alli explained. "He's a real loser."

"I have one of those too. He pretends like he doesn't know me." I explained a little sadly. "And my sister is always studying in the library, preparing for her career as Dr. Bai." I laughed.

"Wow, she sounds just like Sav." Alli responded. "What was your name again … Leia? Nice to meet you." Alli zipped up her bag, looking as though the crying spree never even happened. "See you around." She gave me a quick wave as I leaned against the bathroom sink in awe. I was so proud of myself for what I'd just done.


Armando Felix Gutierrez Martinez-Hassan

I wasn't a freshman; I was a senior and tired of everyone asking me how I ended up at Degrassi. They acted like I had never been here before. I had lived here until I was eight and then my mom got remarried, and thus began my life as a military brat. Now, I was back and no one even recognized me.

I was starting to feel really stupid waving and smiling at people who I remembered who didn't even recognize my name. My face was a lot different now than it was back then. Let's just say that I've gotten a little ... big, well more like chubby.

It's an advantage when it comes to wrestling and football, but the big disadvantage comes with the girls. No girl, no matter how "deep" they are, wants to be seen dating or even talking to someone who looks like me.

So the whole 'Latin Lover' card doesn't work in my favor. My Spanish accent sounds thick and clumsy, just like the loud steps I take in the hallway. At least football try-outs for new students are happening this afternoon.

Then, I can finally stop feeling like such a spaz and serve a purpose here. I guess tutoring people in Spanish is a "purpose" but it's just this thing I'm doing for a scholarship. I'd have to say the worst part about Degrassi is that they're making me take two foreign languages. My old school didn't care that I was a native Spanish speaker and that I was in Spanish 101.

Degrassi did, and they required their students to take two years of two different foreign languages or four years of one. I had talked the principal, Ms. H, into letting me double up on classes so that I still had the possibility of graduating this year.

The only catch was that I'd have to take a competency exam in both Chinese and Italian. But I could totally pull it off and this year … I was going to get rid of this baby fat once and for all. No matter what it took.


(A/N: I know what you're thinking ... WHY IS SHE STARTING ANOTHER NEW STORY? I just saw the previews for the new Degrassi characters and I had play around with them before the actual show airs here. Plus, once I get on top of everything, This is My Reality, Fool of Me, False Self, and Double Standard will be done in 1-2 chapters each! I'm trying to make Disease of the Mind have shorter chapters and I want it have less chapters than I normally write too. Please review and let me know what you think!! I've already written the first four chapters of this one so tune in next week for a new part!! --NL)