(A/N: Here we go again...)
As usual, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were walking home from the bus stop together after school. Kenny was rambling on about titties and vaginas, nothing new.
"Dude, we don't care," Stan finally said.
Cartman pointed at a figure on the other side of the road."Oh my God, you guys, look. It's Wendy Testaburger. HEY, BITCHFACE MCGEE!"
Wendy turned to glare at him.
"HA-ha, you looked!" he laughed at her.
She just flipped him off and kept walking.
"I-I'll see you tomorrow, Wendy!" Stan called after her. When she didn't reply, he sighed heavily."Dammit, Cartman, why do you have to be such a dick to my girlfriend all the time?"
"Stan, I mean you absolutely no offense, but that girl is a hippie gay rights activist with a capital BITCH."
Kyle and Stan looked at each other and rolled their eyes in unison. Kyle didn't really give a crap about Wendy, but disagreeing with Cartman was sort of his thing.
"Besides," the fat boy continued."she's got black hair."
Kyle raised an eyebrow."Yeah, so?"
"SO, dumbass, everybody knows that people with black hair are part black."
"That...makes so little sense," Stan remarked.
Cartman, who was leading the group, stopped and turned around."It makes perfect sense! I mean, haven't you noticed that ALL black people have black hair? So, if you have black hair, you must have descended from black people, and that makes you...y'know. It's first grade, you guys."
Kyle squinted."Does logic even exist in your brain?"
"Yeah, that's completely stupid!" Stan cut in, removing his hat."I have black hair too, fatboy. I got it from my dad; I don't have black ancestors. And even if I did, that wouldn't be anything wrong with that."
Cartman took this in like it was new information. Or perhaps he just hadn't noticed before. The way that boy thought was a mystery to young and old.
"OH, GREAT!" He began gesturing to each of his friends."So I have a dumb blond, (Kenny muffled a "Hey!") a ginger jew rat (Kyle narrowed his eyes just a millimeter more.) and a...pussy black ASSHOLE in my inner circle of friends?! Why me, God?!"
"Now I'm a pussy black asshole?!" Stan seemed to take great offense to this, which was surprising considering he didn't like arguments."What the hell, Cartman!"
Cartman shrugged."I'm just stating the facts, man."
Stan glanced back at Kyle before going on."Yeah, the facts you pulled out of your ass."
"Are you doubting my integrituh?"
"Yes!" Stan shouted back."You are so full of crap!"
"No, YOU'RE full of crap!"
"No, YOU!"
"YOU!"
"YOU!"
"YOU, pussy!"
Without warning, Stan punched Cartman right in the kisser. He didn't really mean to do it...it just sort of happened.
"OWW!" Cartman reeled back and held his bleeding mouth."FUCK, Stan!"
"Oh my God! I-I'm sorry, are you okay?" Stan asked upon instinct. "Wait. Actually, no, I'm NOT sorry! Screw you, Cartman!"
With that, Stan turned and left. A shocked Kyle glanced back and forth between his retreating best friend and Cartman, who was still swearing as Kenny tried to console him. He finally decided to follow Stan.
"Dude!" he said when he caught up."What...was that?"
"I don't know!" Stan admitted."Something in me just...snapped! I think Cartman's ignorance may have pushed me to my limit!"
"So you punched him in the mouth?"
"Do you have a problem with that?"
Kyle paused. He didn't have a problem with that. After all, Cartman had that punch coming, didn't he?
"I don't have a problem with it," said Kyle. "It's just really unlike you." Yeah, that was it.
"Oh, well, from now on, I'm not putting up with any more of fatboy's bullcrap!"
"Great...also, dude."
"What?"
"You know your house is the other way, right?"
"Oh, yeah."
After that, Kyle went home, but by bedtime, something was still bugging him.
Geez! he thought angrily as he lay in bed. There was nothing wrong with what Stan did! Cartman deserved it after all the stupid stuff he said!
It just felt off to Kyle that he wasn't the one who punched him.
It doesn't matter!
...or did it?
(A/N: Yyyeah, so, uh, don't get your hopes up about me updating this that often. I was conflicted about the decision to make this a multi-chaptered story anyway, and like I said, I've got that blog to run...so, see ya next time, whenever that is)
