AN: Hey guys! This is just a quick oneshot based on Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know". It ended up a lot different than I expected it to when I started writing it, so please don't hate me! I promise I'll be updating Tattooed Soulmates soon, but I needed to get this out of my head! Reviews are welcome and as always: Enjoy!
Jane knocked on the front door of Maura's house, holding a bag of Chinese takeout and a six pack of her favorite beer. Jane stood there for several minutes but Maura didn't answer.
That's weird. Jane thought. Her car is here. The lights are on inside. She said she was going home right after work. Jane had noticed Maura was acting a little weird since she'd announced her engagement to Casey and decided that she should help cheer her friend up.
Jane was worried when Maura didn't answer the door so she let herself in using the key Maura had given her in case of an emergency.
"Maura?" Jane called out, walking into the kitchen. Noticing Maura wasn't in there, she dropped the food and beer off in the kitchen and made her way upstairs towards Maura's bedroom. She heard music coming from the slightly ajar door of her best friend's room and looked inside to see Maura dancing around to the opening notes of a song. She was about to reveal herself to her friend when Maura began singing over the lyrics of the song.
"Casey doesn't know, that Jane and me, do it in the morgue everyday! He thinks she's at work, but he doesn't know, I'm making her moan! Casey doesn't know! Oh, how I make her moan! So don't tell Casey! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! SO DON'T TELL CASEY!" Maura sang loudly.
What the fuck?! Jane thought. Why the fuck is Maura singing about us having sex and Casey not knowing about it?! Jane's thoughts were cut off as Maura continued singing.
"He may think we're out shopping, but I'm riding her and I'm not stopping! Cause Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! SO DON'T TELL CASEY! Casey doesn't know! SO DON'T TELL CASEY!"
Is this why Maura's been so distant after I accepted Casey's proposal? Is Maura attracted to me? Shit! Does my very female best friend have a crush on me?!
"It's funny how he's so trusting, when I'm deep inside her and thrusting! When Jane's got him on the phone, and she's trying not to moan, cause I'm going down on her, the whole time, whole time! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Casey doesn't know! So don't tell Casey! Cause Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! SO DON'T TELL CASEY! We're so loud when we moan and yet, no, Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Casey doesn't know!"
Maura has a crush on me! Maura wants to have sex with me! How did I not know this?! I'm a fucking detective, for Christ's sake!
"The parking lot, it's so hot, I love it when Jane's on top! I always watch her when she comes, she never does with him! Casey doesn't know! Casey doesn't know!"
Why didn't she ever tell me how she felt? She never gave any indication that she liked women. Did she? What do I say to her? Was she ever going to tell me?
"I did her when they got engaged!"
WHAT?!
"Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Don't tell Casey! Casey doesn't know! Casey will know! Casey has to know! Casey's gotta know! Gonna tell Casey! Gonna tell him myself! Casey has to know! How I make her moan! Casey has to, Casey has to, Casey has to go! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Don't tell Casey! Casey doesn't know! How I make her moan! Casey doesn't know! Casey's gotta, Casey's gotta, Casey's gotta go!" Maura finished loudly. She was breathing heavily from the simultaneous singing and jumping around.
Jane heard the end of the song and tried to slowly back away from the door. She couldn't let Maura know she'd just heard everything. She stepped back and stumbled, falling to the floor.
"Jane?" Maura called out, pulling her door open to see a sheepish looking Jane on the floor.
"Yeah, I just sorta, um, let myself in. I just got here and came to see where you were. Um, yeah, and I just sort of tripped. I'm so clumsy. Haha. Yeah, so um, Chinese?" she finished lamely.
"Jane, can you come in here?" Maura asked, gesturing to her open bedroom door.
All Jane could do was nod and pull herself off the floor. She followed Maura into the bedroom and sat next to her on the bed.
"Jane, how much of that did you hear?" Maura asked softly.
"Hear what? I didn't hear anything."
"This isn't going to be easier if you lie to me. Stop pretending you didn't hear anything and just tell me what you heard."
Jane sighed. "I heard the whole thing. The whole damn thing. When were you going to tell me?"
Now it was Maura's turn to sigh. "I wasn't going to tell you, Jane. You would never feel the same way. It would just ruin our friendship."
"So, what? Instead you sing crude songs about fucking me?! About making me cheat on my fiancé?!" Jane saw Maura flinch at the word fiancé, but just kept on going. She was mad now; mad that Maura had never told her. "How long have you felt this way about me?! How long have you been hiding your feelings under the title of 'best friend'?! Has everything in our friendship, every little touch or teasing, been about getting in my pants?!"
"No! And that's why I didn't want to tell you! I knew you'd call our entire friendship into question! It's not all about sex with you, either! It's not some silly crush! It won't go away! I'm in love with you, Jane! I love every little thing about you! And it kills me that I know you will never feel the same! That you've been with so many men who don't deserve you, including Casey! And then you come down to the crime lab, flaunting that stupid engagement ring in my face and you have the nerve to be angry at me for not telling you how I felt?!" Maura was sobbing now.
"You never even told me you were interested in women! The fact that you're a lesbian is a pretty big thing not to mention to your best friend!"
"I'm not a lesbian! I'm bisexual! Not that'd you care! And what would you have done if I had told you?! You would have backed away from our friendship! No more hugs, or little touches! No more sleepovers or late night drinks! I couldn't lose you as my friend! You and your family are like my family! If you had left, I'd have no one! Though, I guess it doesn't matter now! Now that you know you'll probably force your entire family to stop all contact with me! You'll go marry Casey and have children and a life and new friends and forget all about me! And where will that leave me?! With a broken heart and no one to turn to! I'll have no friends or family! I'll be all alone again!" Maura had to stop talking then. She was crying too hard. She just curled her knees to her chest and slowly rocked herself back and forth as she continued to sob.
"Hey, Maura. Listen, just calm down. I'm not mad, okay? I was just shocked. You're not alone. I wouldn't leave you. My family is your family. My mother thinks of you as a fourth child. You will never have to be alone again. I just wish you had told me you were bisexual. Yeah, maybe at first it would have been a little weird, but I wouldn't have left you. You are my best friend and who you're attracted to doesn't change that. But, I'm not gay, Maura. Or bi, or whatever. I'm straight. I'm sorry, I really am. But I'm just not attracted to you, or any other women. I wish you would have told me sooner."
"So I could face this rejection sooner?" Maura barely managed to get out before more sobs racked her body. She could literally feel her heart breaking.
"I'm sorry, Maura. I'll just go." Jane said, standing up from the bed.
Maura made no move to try and stop her and instead curled herself into a ball on her bed, crying even harder.
Jane felt her heart ache at the vision of her heart broken best friend. She didn't even cry this hard when Ian left. She called him the love of her life. So what does that make me? Jane couldn't handle the sight of Maura breaking down anymore. The image burned her soul in a way she never knew possible. She knew there was nothing she could do to comfort her friend because she was the cause of the pain. The thought of being the cause of Maura's pain made her even more upset. She had to get out of there. She slowly walked out of the room and into the hallway.
"Casey doesn't know. How I make her moan. So don't tell Casey." she heard Maura whisper hoarsely through sobs. And that was the last thing she heard before bolting out of the house.
