A/N: So this is my first fanfiction on and its a depressing one shot. To torture yourselves further listen to
Sadness & Sorrow - Naruto OST while you read, it inspired this one shot. Plus, Neji holds a special place in my heart and I will never get over his death *sobs and crawls away* So I hope you do enjoy this and cry and listen to sad music like I did, I wrote this on a whim, be sure to review since it's my first one shot, I need criticism (constructive that is ^.^) I also wrote this at 2 am so feel free to correct my grammar.
Also this is somewhat implied NejiTen, but you can take it with a grain of salt and interpret as you wish,
enjoy! xoxo
The sky overhead was looming with grey clouds in the dark; it was another overcast night.
Two months. It's been two entire months. A slow, unrealistically grueling eight weeks where nothing seemed to move as fast anymore in Konoha, life was blurry. Ten Ten walked with her head down, down a secluded path where no one would look for her at this hour. This place was isolated from the rest of the village, in a peaceful place. As it should be a place to rest in peace. Ten Ten came slowly to the place she had been visiting nearly every night for the past two months.
His grave.
Quietly she sat cross legged in front of the engraved marble headstone, hidden in a tiny garden. In her arms she held a box of food,
"I brought your favorite," Ten Ten smiled weakly "Herring Soba, what you always ordered." She set the plate down in front of her, her hands shaking.
Ten Ten was trying to be as optimistic and as strong as she could possibly try to be. Her small grin had vanished. Some nights she brought her own dinner out here, and ate it, but she had no appetite. Whenever she tried to eat lately the lump in her throat would reject the meal. She had not cried when she thought about Neji, it had been two months and it was still not registering with her mind in full yet. A kunoichi had to be strong, and show that she was just as enduring as her male shinobi counterparts. Weakness couldn't be something she could let overflow into every part of her life…it would surely hurt her training, right?
"I've been training extra hard with Gai- sensei and Lee, you would be impressed,"
Ten Ten hugged her knees close to her body and rested her chin on her knees while she told Neji about her day.
"Sensei even said I should take a break from time to time lately, do you believe it? Gai- sensei giving me a break," she closed her eyes and smiled as her mind flashed to memories of their missions, when their sensei would suggest they go farther with no breaks, and how Lee would never deny a challenge.
Ten Ten's dark chocolate colored hair was down from its normal two buns. It hung down loosely over her shoulders and over her face, hiding her, like a protective shield. If anyone were to stumble into the cemetery tonight, they would hardly recognize her. She felt like the weight of the Earth was weighing on her entire being, and a rock lodged deep in her throat. The emotion was there, trapped underneath painfully pushing on her insides, longing to find some way out. Yet, it hadn't escaped just yet. Years on Team Gai made her determined to be strong, and not to show tears…or weakness.
"I promise not to cry, Neji." She smiled as her upper lip began to tremble, "I swear I will never let you down, no matter what." She squeezed her eyes and clenched her jaw shut as tight as possible to keep that bubbling, dark emotion from making its way out.
"Shinobi…" Ten Ten said through bared teeth "do not show tears" her lip trembled silently as she forced her eyes and mouth shut, remaining strong…
The instant she said it, a rain drop hit her nose. Then another one slid down her cheek, and before she knew it, rain was falling down from the obsidian sky, softly hitting her skin. Ten Ten opened her deep brown eyes and looked up, letting the rain drops stream down her face. The brown haired kunoichi's shaking lips formed a faint smile as a tear slid out from her eye.
"I guess it's not showing tears if you can't tell the rain drops from the tears, huh? You won't be able to tell at all…" Ten Ten said aloud, her stomach wrenching every time she spoke, and did not hear Neji's voice speaking back to her. With that painful revelation, tears began to flood out of her doe like eyes, like a dam had been broken that had been holding back her emotions from weeks. It broke suddenly and silently, as the sadness washed over like nothing she had ever wanted to feel in her life.
Small tears turned to body-wracking sobs, Ten Ten tried grit her teeth as rain water and tears flooded over her face. Her fists tightened into hard fists and she doubled over, choking out sobs and trying to even out her breathing.
'Damn it Ten Ten, don't lose it now...stop crying!' She thought to herself.
"I knew living a Shinobi life…involved loss, and sacrifice, but I told myself, it c-could never happen, if I was strong enough to protect those I held the dearest to my heart. Why was it you?!" Ten Ten hit the ground in anger, trying not to completely lose her composure, but it was too late. She wanted to reach out so desperately just to touch her team mate, but she couldn't and that was a fact she was struggling to wrap her mind around. Reality was sinking in, piece by piece since the day he died.
"I hope you can hear me, there's so much I need to say!" Ten Ten yelled. "So much...I never said..." She clutched her head like her brain would explode.
When the team would show up to train, and they would be start without Neji, it would sink in an ounce, when she wouldn't see him walking around the village, it would sink in another ounce, when they held the funeral, it had barely sunk in another ounce. But now, those ounces had been added up, and reality was not sinking in, it was taking full effect and burying itself into Ten Ten's mind. As she screamed out in anger and desperation,getting no response from her friend, her team mate, the one she loved, that is when she shattered.
Ten Ten collapsed next Neji's grave, lying on her side as if she was lying next to him. Heavy rain poured over her, soaking her loose dark locks so they were strewn all over the ground, and washing any evidence of tears from her face. All of her clothes completely
drenched. Her breathing was out of control and she shut her eyes tightly, picturing Neji, and Lee, and Gai- Sensei. Her team, her family.
"Y-y-you will a-lways be on our t-team N-neji, b-beside us like you n-never left at all," She stammered through short breaths, "besides you're the one who is free now, r-right?" Ten Ten smiled a shaky smile as she looked up at the sky, watching rain descend from the heavens, where she wondered if he could see her now.
Looking up, she said "W-wait for us, Neji. We will catch up with you, all of us. You just got a head start, like always, because you're so skilled, you've always been a step ahead of us, huh? Even though I could never catch up..." Ten Ten grinned widely, in nostalgia. "Wait for me, because…we will see each other once again, I'm sure of it, just wait for me…f-for all of us, ok-kay?"
Ten Ten shut her eyes and curled up into a ball, waves of exhaustion hitting her shaking frame.
"I love you,
goodnight Neji."
