Wrote this a while ago after a school camp. Don't get me wrong, camp was AWESOME! But this guy upset me a little (but now it's all cool, so yeah) Feel free to leave constructive crit :)
She wouldn't say yes.
Even if he asked her really romantic like.
No. No.
Because her vydran said she was too young at only at thirteen and that he didn't want her going out with some boy. Especially not him. Vydran said he still had a lot of growing to do, and until he'd grown up and become mature, he was not to be trusted. And since she was a good girl and knew she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of keeping that secret from her vydran, because she'd seen how much he'd hurt when sudran died, and she didn't want to hurt him anymore by keeping that secret from him, she had already made up in her mind that she wouldn't go out with anybody yet.
Especially not him.
But that didn't stop her talking to him. She would never say yes if he asked her. But she still wanted to be his best friend who was a girl, one he could confide in and ask for advice about other girls. And she kinda hoped that maybe he liked her, and even though she wouldn't say yes, she kinda wanted him to ask her anyway. Just so that she'd know that she was lovable, that she was a girl that guys liked, and that she had the willpower to say 'no', no matter how much she wanted to say yes. She knew he was just a scrawny, bratty fourteen year old kid, but he was nice and he made her laugh. She'd always had a soft spot for him, since they were very small.
And so when they went on a salvage operation, they really stuck. They were the youngest on the team by at least four years, and so they'd always talk together, especially since they weren't old enough to go underwater themselves. They were just apprentices. They liked making fun of the other members and talking about what was going on back Home and on the mainland.
"Don't you think Leanna and Brother should get together?" he joked, nodding at the gorgeous, tall Al Bhed girl hanging out her wetsuit on the line next to Brother.
"Ugh, but she's taller than him!" she cried, crinkling her nose in disgust. As if that was the only problem with that pairing! "The guy should always be taller than the girl, otherwise it looks funny."
He chuckled a little in response.
"Do you reckon Eiddam's taller than me?" he said quietly, with the ghost of a smile on his lips.
"I dunno," she replied, trying to remember. Eiddam was pretty tall and skinny, with dark blonde hair and a stunning smile. "Maybe. I've always thought of her as tall, but you've started to grow now. Maybe you are taller... "
She hesitated and stared at him curiously from the corner of her eye.
"...Why? Do you like her?" she asked slyly, so desperate to know the answer, but still dreading it all the same. She knew what his response would be.
"I'm not sure," he shrugged. "I guess I do."
"Oh. Ok."
They sat in silence for a moment. She didn't know what to say... everything she thought of was too prying or divulging of her own feelings. Everything seemed to slow down, while the warm sunshine and fresh salty air seemed to mock the sinking weight in her heart. She glanced sideways at him and wondered why she hadn't seen it before. What kind of 'best friend' was she?
"So not Yma, then?" she asked quietly, referring to the other girl's best friend. She wondered if Yma liked Gippal; she was always giggling and greeting him with giant hugs while Rikku watched from the sidelines, jealous of Eiddam and Yma's boldness. She had always been his friend, back when the other girls wouldn't give him a second glance and the other boys barely noticed him. But then Yma had suddenly skipped into the picture, toying with him even while she flirted with the other guys and bringing with her the pretty and graceful Eiddam who would eventually claim his heart and slowly but surely push Rikku out of her old friend's life.
He looked slightly surprised at her question... Why should he be surprised, she thought bitterly, he's not exactly discouraging the girl. But instead she nodded in understanding when he replied "No, not Yma."
There was an awkward pause as she wondered what to ask him next. It was one of their few moments completely alone, and she knew her chance to ask questions wouldn't last long.
"Are you going to ask her out?"
He shrugged, but she could see determination and disappointment in his eyes.
"I don't know. Maybe if she was on this salvage mission instead of B Team's... but I'm not sure."
Her heart sank further, if that was possible, as she realised that he didn't really like her at all and that he really wished that Eiddam was here instead of her.
She wanted to know how long he'd liked her, how long she'd hoped in vain, but then one of the other crew members called them to help reel in some of the scout machina, and the moment was lost.
The next two weeks were absolutely awful for her. She fell more for him, even as he went further and further out of her reach. Maybe that was why. Maybe she was just sour grapes. They always said the heart wants what the heart can't have. But now what?
She knew that if she confessed her feelings or threw herself at him, he wouldn't want her... Heck, he didn't even think she was pretty, if one of their late night conversations with some of the other kids about hotness ratings was a clue. And the rest of the crew weren't helping either; they saw how especially close friends they were apart from the crew (something she realised now was simply because she was there, not because he particularly liked her) and were constantly teasing them about each other, or pushing her into him in an attempt to draw out some heroics on his part, or causing them to fall together in a tumbled heap. She wanted to yell at them to stop, to shout "No, no! He doesn't like me!" but she couldn't betray his trust like that; he hadn't specifically told her not to tell anyone yet, but their conversation had been cut short. She didn't want to lost what little faith in her he had, so she kept her mouth shut and bore it with gritted teach. She felt like crying every time Leanna asked her about him, saying they'd be a cute couple. Even when she said he liked some other girl and told her about the promise she'd made to herself and her vydran, the older girl ignored her and kept on teasing and prying and egging her on.
"You know, it'll just be a summer thing if you got with him, out here on the sea, apart from the rest of the world. Cid's kilometres away, back at Home... he wouldn't really mind if it was just a short thing, it'd be ok. Trust me," assured the older girl. At one point, Rikku even believed her and felt so traitorous; she didn't want to break her vydran's heart or lose his trust, but she wanted him so badly, it hurt. So she started flirting with him again, only to come to her senses when he rejected her apology hug for being such a 'meanie' to him with her joking insults. He didn't even want a simple friendly hug from her; she knew he could see how she felt, and the shame hit her like a rock. Eventually, he must have told the other guys who he really liked and soon all the taunts were only about Gippal and Eiddam. Rikku was mortified when Leanna told her of how she and Buddy were trying to get them together.
"I asked Buddy to ask him what he thought of you," she said casually as they were cleaning off the older girl's armour. "He said he didn't like you that way, and that he actually likes Eiddam... I'm sorry baby..." she mumbled apologetically as she pulled Rikku into a hug. Rikku wanted nothing less than to slap the other girl for completely disregarding her warnings not to do anything about Gippal. Especially when Gippal said quietly to her later "I was surprised you hadn't told Leanna yet." Like he didn't trust her at all; then she realised the only reason he'd confided in her was because she was there and relatively dependable. That he didn't really trust her to keep his secret to herself, that she was some blabbermouth, fair-weather friend. And she just wanted to swear at him with all the curse words she knew in Al Bhed and Spiran... but she was too meek for that, and too scared of losing what little friendship they had.
She was so relieved when they got back to land; now she could cry in peace and not have to be reminded of him every single moment of every day. But she didn't expect the anger he'd cause her; as soon as they got back, he completely ignored her and spoke instead to Eiddam. She wondered how she hadn't realised before when she saw the way he looked at her. He was taller than her, something he'd replied to curtly, "Of course," when she'd pointed this out to him, in an attempt to build talking relations with him again. But the cause was lost... the pycdynt wouldn't even talk to her, after all the pain he'd caused her and the tears she'd shed, after all the taunts she'd suffered to keep his secret and the moral anguish she'd felt in betraying her vydran. She just wished he knew the pain he'd caused her; then maybe he'd feel sorry and be friends with her again. But it was a lost cause, and she was glad now that she'd made that promise to herself and her vydran; without the knowledge that she would've said no anyway, she would've been much more hurt. It still hurt though, it still made her want to scream and cry and rage at him until he understood what he'd done to her. But instead, she kept the hurt to herself, until she was ready to let them go and tip them into the sea.
Constructive crit. anyone? It's kinda messy, eh? And probably confusing too (I'm just making assumptions here. I mean, I understand it, coz I wrote it!)
Btw, the Pyncdynct in the title is our very own Gippal. Just in case you were wondering (man, now it sounds like I'm doubting your intelligence...)
