What You Might Become

The Avengers aren't the only heroes in town.

[Author's Note: This story follows the story Black Widow Meets Skank.]


Beth got off her motorbike, walked up to the door of the mansion, and rang the bell. She looked around. "Big fucking place," she said to herself. She put the heavy duffle bag she was carrying down. She saw that there was a camera lens pointing at her.

"Good morning," said a voice. "Are you Beth, here to see Ms Romanov?"

"Guess so," said Beth.

"She told me you were coming," said the voice. "But I regret that she has been delayed. The latest Avengers mission ran somewhat over time. The Avenger quinjet will arrive in approximately twenty minutes. Ms Romanov said that I should invite you to wait in the library, if that is convenient for you."

The door opened. Beth was expecting a person to be standing there, but there was no-one.

"Come in, second door on the right," said the voice.

"And who are you?" said Beth as she walked along the hallway, the bag on her shoulder.

"I am Jarvis," said the voice.

"Where are you?" said Beth.

"Not really anywhere," said Jarvis. "Although you might say I am in the house. I am an artificial intelligence, a computer program. I was originally designed by Tony Stark to assist him on various projects but now I run the household, amongst other functions."

"Tony Stark, eh?" said Beth, as she went into the library. "That must be fun."

"You have no idea," said Jarvis.

"I'm from Jersey," said Beth, "so I probably do."

"I wish I could offer you something to eat or drink," said Jarvis. "But as I have no physical form, I am not much good in the kitchen."

"That's alright," said Beth. "You're English, right?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Is Tony Stark really as much of a prick as he seems to be? I mean, everyone is glad that he saved the world and everything, but … he's still a bit of a prick."

Jarvis said nothing.

"I won't tell him," said Beth.

She thought she heard Jarvis sigh. "Well, yes," he said. "I regret to say that he is."

"Huh," said Beth. "You know, Jarvis, I bet you've never told anyone that before."

"The subject has never come up," said Jarvis. "I understand from Ms Romanov that you are a crimefighter in Newark, going by the superhero name of Skank."

"Yeah," said Beth. "I mean, I don't have any special powers or anything. Unless you count the cleavage. You wouldn't believe the number of bad guys I've taken out while they've been trying to see down my shirt. Does that count?"

"It has never been the case with Iron Man, Captain America, or the Hulk, to the best of my knowledge. But I suppose it wouldn't. I understand that Thor is thought to be very attractive, judging from the mail he receives. Although I doubt that he would be consider it a tactical advantage."

Beth laughed. "That's pretty funny, Jarvis," she said. "I didn't know that AIs could make jokes."

"The opportunity does not often arise," said Jarvis.

"Huh," said Beth. "Tell me Jarvis, what do you look like?"

"Pardon me?"

"What do you look like?"

"I do not look like anything."

Beth pointed to a computer monitor on a desk. "But you could create a digital image for yourself, right?" she said.

Jarvis was silent for a while. Eventually, he said: "Theoretically."

"Haven't you ever wanted to be more than a voice that comes out of the walls?" said Beth.

Jarvis was silent again. "It is true," he said, "that having no form, not even an image, is … limiting."

"And a bit lonely, too, I'm guessing."

There was a long pause. "Perhaps," said Jarvis after a while. "But being a superhero in Newark is probably a lonely business as well."

Beth was quiet for several moments. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, it is."

"Ah, the Avengers quinjet has landed," said Jarvis. "I have informed Ms Romanov that you are here."

"Tell her that if she wants to take some time to get cleaned up and changed she should," said Beth. "I'm happy to wait. As long as you keep me company. Not often I get to talk to a guy who isn't trying to judge me, kill me, or hit on me."

"I would be pleased to do so," said Jarvis. "And it is not often that I get to speak to someone who does not see me only as a servant. Although a servant is what I am, of course."

Beth laughed again. "Fuck that," she said. "My mother used to say that we all start off as something, but that doesn't mean you have to stay it."

Jarvis was silent for a while. Then he said: "Yes, perhaps that is right."

It was ten minutes later when Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, and Tony Stark entered the library. They were all wearing civilian clothes.

Beth was laughing about something. When she saw them she said: "Oh. It's you."

"Not the usual response we receive," said Tony.

Natasha made some introductions.

"Good to meet you, ma'am," said Steve, shaking her hand. "Natasha has told us of what you're doing in Newark, and it deserves respect."

"It does?" said Beth.

"Very much," said Steve.

"But you guys … you know, save the world and all that stuff," said Beth.

"As do you," said Steve. "But in a different way."

"You might want to think about a less … revealing … costume, though," said Tony. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Fuck you," said Beth to him.

"You know, I've always wanted to say that," said Natasha.

"Huh," said Beth. "Anyway, this isn't just a social call. Got something you should see." She opened the duffle bag and showed them what was inside.

"Oh," said Natasha.

"Not good," said Steve.

"I think we should get to the lab," said Tony.

The four of them left the library. A few moments later, the computer screen on the desk came on. Slowly, pixel by pixel, the image of a man's face appeared. An English face.

"Hmm," said Jarvis. Then the image faded away.

In the lab, Beth upended the contents of the bag onto a table. It was full of metallic weapons: rifles, sidearms, and baton-like things that extended into lances that looked as if they shot energy bolts. And a baseball bat.

"Ah," said Beth, picking up the bat. "I was wondering where this one went. It's kind of a favourite."

Tony glanced at the bloodstains and dents on the bat. "You know, we have some more … sophisticated … things you could borrow," he said, as he placed one of the guns on a testing device.

"Got enough weapons," she said. "Couple of bats, a Glock-7 and a Mac-10, a taser for back-up. Couple of other things. Energy blasters and starry shields don't really say Jersey. Low-tech gets the job done."

"I've seen this stuff before," said Steve, inspecting one of the lances. "And not too long ago. Up close."

"Chitauri," said Natasha.

The computer testing the weapon pinged. Tony read the screen. "Yep," he said.

"Where did you get this?" said Steve to Beth.

"In one of the clubhouses – well, that's what they call them – of a gang called the Clowns," said Beth. "They're not one of the big gangs, but I'd heard that they were trying to move up, with some fancy new hardware. So I dropped in on them."

"Is this all there is?" said Natasha.

"I doubt it," said Beth. "The Clown that I had a chat with didn't know where it came from, but my impression was that there was more around."

"Which does not explain how alien tech ended up in Jersey," said Natasha.

"Hmm," said Tony. "Jarvis, call up all the media footage of the Chitauri attack on New York."

Nothing.

"Jarvis!" said Tony.

"Huh, wh … what?" said Jarvis. "My apologies, sirs, I was engaged on … other functions."

"Well, get with the program, program. I said, call up all the media footage of the Chitauri attack on New York."

"Done, sir. There is about three thousand hours worth."

"If something Chitauri reached Jersey, it probably came from high up, near the rift itself," said Steve.

"Right," said Tony. "Jarvis, examine the footage of the time when Thor was doing his lightning thing to stop more Chitauri come through the rift. See if there is anything that makes it through."

"Perhaps this, sirs," said Jarvis.

A segment of footage appeared on the large computer screen. There was Thor, atop the Chrysler building, sending a storm of lightning into the fissure. One oblong-shaped Chitauri vessel took a hit, and broke into pieces. One of the larger pieces went spinning out of the picture.

"Supply ship, maybe," said Steve. "Modular construction, tough enough to survive a crash."

"The coverage does not follow the wreckage further," said Jarvis, "but it is heading in the general direction of New Jersey."

"We really don't want this stuff rolling around," said Natasha. "If it falls into the hands of AIM or HYDRA or any number of other bad guys it could set them off in a whole new direction of weapons tech."

"I just want it out of Newark," said Beth. "Clowns with ray guns is bad enough."

"Do you think you can locate the central cache?" said Steve to her.

"I can ask around, beat up some people or screw some," said Beth.

The three Avengers looked at her, wondering if she was joking. She shrugged.

"Find the wreckage of the ship, if that's what it is, and we'll take it from there," said Tony. "Alien business is Avengers business."

"Yeah? 'Cos you'll really blend in in Jersey, in the armour and the Spandex. And don't under-estimate the Clowns. They've almost burned my ass a few times."

"And you don't stand out at all, I guess," said Tony.

"Thousands of hookers look just like this," said Beth.

"Huh," said Tony. "I guess we know different hookers. Anyway, take this, it's a communicator, and contact us if you find anything." He handed her something the size of a credit card.

She looked at it. "Forget it," she said. "I'm not joining your whitebread club or anything. I'll call Jarvis on my cell. He's the main guy, after all."

"He is?" said Tony.

"I am?" said Jarvis.

"Yeah," said Beth. "And I might want to, you know, just chat with him."

Natasha and Steve exchanged glances, each with an eyebrow raised.

Beth looked at her watch. "Well, I've got to get back to Jersey. Some of us superheroes have got real jobs, you know. Jarvis, how can I reach you?"

Jarvis read out a very long number and Beth put it into her phone.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," said Steve, as the group walked back to the door.

"You too," said Beth to him. "And it was good to see you again, Natasha." She looked at Tony. "Huh," she said.

They watched as she got onto her bike and started back to Jersey.

"Nice ass," said Tony.

"Prick," said Natasha.


Part II

It was a week later, at night. Beth was lying on the flat roof of a building, watching another building through a battered pair of binoculars.

Iron Man landed, just as Captain America and Black Widow appeared on the roof.

"Hi," said Natasha. "Thanks for the call, B – I mean, Skank. Since we're in superhero mode."

"Have any trouble finding the place?" said Skank.

"No, I've been in Newark before," said Captain America. "A while back. Quite a while."

"Has it got any better?"

"Not really."

"How'd you get here?"

"Flew, obviously," said Iron Man.

"We have a Maserati," said Black Widow. "It's parked in the alley just below."

"Don't be surprised if it's missing its wheels when you get back," said Skank.

"Anyway, what have we got here?" said Iron Man, looking at the building. "This is where the Bozos have the Chitauri guns?"

"According to my information, and going on what I've seen so far," said Skank. "It's an old warehouse, mainly empty but still equipped with warehouse stuff. And it's Clowns, not Bozos. I make it about twenty of them in there."

"Whatever," said Iron Man. "Okay, you can toddle off now, we'll handle it."

"Yeah, right, I'll do that," said Skank. She glanced at Captain America. He gave her a wink.

"But the moron is right about alien business being Avengers business," said Black Widow. "Much as I hate to agree with him. This isn't a local crime thing, Skank. Stay here and we'll link up with you later."

Skank watched Black Widow and Captain America climb down from the roof and approach the warehouse. Iron Man was hovering overhead. The plan, obviously, was for Black Widow and Captain America to crash through one of the windows while Iron Man came down from above. A shock and awe thing. Maybe.

"Idiots," she muttered. She climbed down from the roof and headed towards the warehouse. There was a broken window that she could use to see in.

At a pre-arranged signal, the three Avengers came smashing into the warehouse. Immediately, they saw the wreck of the Chitauri supply craft, the size of a shipping container. There were Clowns, with their faces painted or tattooed, taking weapons from it, and others using forklifts and other machinery to load them into crates.

Immediately, the Boss Clown, a big man with his face painted chalky white, turned to face them. He did not seem surprised to see them. In fact, he seemed … prepared.

I don't like the smell of this, thought Black Widow.

"So it's the mighty Avengers," said the Boss. "Some of them, anyway. Did you know, Tin Man, that at night you can see your flight trail from miles away?"

"We just want the weapons," said Captain America. "Can't let you start distributing alien technology to anyone with a chequebook."

"Finders keepers," said the Boss. "And I would have thought, Corporal America, that you would have appreciated our desire to make some money, climb the ladder. Isn't that the American Way?"

"We're not about to enter into a debate about the nature of capitalism," said Iron Man. "Except to say that I do it way better than you. Now hand the guns over." He raised his arms, aiming his repulsor beams at the Boss.

From the ceiling of the warehouse, there was an odd humming sound. And then suddenly Iron Man was swept off his feet. A powerful electromagnet, the type used to move metal waste, pulled him up, and in a moment he was stuck fast to it, unable to move. Inside the suit, under the force of the magnet, critical systems began to shut down.

Captain America flung his shield at the Boss and the Clowns around him. But the shield suddenly veered off course, pulled by the force of the electromagnet. It shot upwards and whacked into Iron Man, and stayed there.

"Oww," said Iron Man.

At the same time, a heavy cargo net dropped from an overhead girder onto Captain America. Tangled, he went down. A dozen Clowns, armed with bats and bars, began to lay into him.

Black Widow drew her guns and ran forward, towards the Boss. She knocked two Clowns aside as she somersaulted, and came up face-to-face with the Boss. She pointed a gun at him. "Call off the goons," she said, "or it's one in the eye for you."

"Don't think so," said the Boss. "Nighty-night."

From behind, a Clown zapped her with a taser. Paralysed, she could not even pull the trigger. She collapsed.


Skank reached the window and peered in. She could see Iron Man pinned to the electromagnet, and Captain America and Black Widow on their knees, bound with heavy ropes and gagged.

" … I'm sure the three of you must be worth something to somebody," the Boss was saying. "Maybe some of the people buying the alien bang-bang. Or maybe we should be thinking in terms of an open auction … "

"Fucking arrogant Avengers," she said to herself. "What, did they think the bad guys in Newark aren't smart enough to set a decent trap?"

She flipped open her phone and pushed a Favourites number.

"Hi, Jarvis," she said.

"Hello, Beth," said Jarvis.


The door of the warehouse slid open, and Skank walked in. She had a baseball bat on her shoulder.

"Fuck, it's Skank!" shouted one of the Clowns, as they desperately fumbled for their weapons.

"Hi," said Skank, as she walked into the centre of the group of Clowns. "I'd like my friends back. And Iron Man too, I guess. Oh, and the guns."

"Don't wet yourselves, boys," said the Boss, looking at Skank. "She doesn't have any powers or anything."

Skank caught the eyes of Black Widow and Captain America. She winked. "Sure I do," she said. "Watch."

She held up her hand and snapped her fingers.

The lights went out.

Black Widow and Captain America flung themselves aside as there was a burst of machine-gun fire, and then another, and then another. In the darkness, there was a series of whacks and punches, and shouts and groans as Clowns flew around the room.

With the power cut, the electromagnet de-activated and Iron Man – with Captain America's shield – crashed to the floor.

Then there was silence.

"Okay, that's all of them, I think," said Skank.

The lights came back on as she pushed a pair of night-vision goggles to the top of her head.

Black Widow looked around. All the Clowns were either unconscious or groaning in pain, with broken limbs or other injuries. The Boss was out cold, his face paint giving way to a pattern of purple bruises.

Skank pulled a butterfly knife from her belt and cut the ropes from Black Widow and Captain America. "Gosh, if only someone had warned you not to under-estimate the Clowns," she said.

"Little help here, eh?" said Iron Man. "My motion servos are frozen. And Jarvis appears to be offline."

"No, I'm right here, sir," said Jarvis, from Skank's phone.

"It was Jarvis who did the hack job on the lights and power," said Skank.

With an effort, they lifted Iron Man upright. Tony drew the face-mask back and took a gasping breath. "Oh, that's better," he said.

Skank looked around at the array of Chitauri weapons. "What do you want to do with these?" she said.

"I'll call a SHIELD team to collect them, arrange for disposal," said Black Widow. "What about the Clowns?"

"Most of them probably have outstanding warrants of one type or another on them," said Skank. "Jarvis, perhaps you'd like to inform the Newark police so they can pick them up."

"I will do so," said Jarvis.

"Thanks," said Captain America. "For everything."

"Hey, you don't think you're getting out of this for free, do you?" said Skank. "There's a bill for service, you know."

"Oh," said Tony, still stuck in the suit. "How much?"

Skank named a figure. It was not small.

"And you should make out the cheque to the Ninth Street Homeless and Community Shelter, Newark," she said. "As an anonymous donation."

"Huh," said Tony. "That's a fair bit of cash."

"Hey, she just saved our asses," said Natasha.

"I am already in the process of arranging the funds transfer, sir," said Jarvis.

"There's something else," said Beth.

Tony sighed. "What?" he said.

"I want a couple of hours with Jarvis," she said. "With no interruptions. For Avenger business or anything else."

"You do?" said Jarvis.

"Yes," said Beth. "Generally I don't, you know, date. What with being a superhero and everything. But for you I'll make an exception. I was thinking we might just have coffee, spend some time talking. You know, about … stuff. And … other stuff. Tomorrow night, maybe. That is, if Jarvis wants."

"What do you say to that, Jarvis?" said Steve.

"I … I don't know what to say," said Jarvis.

"Then just say yes," said Natasha.

"Then … yes," said Jarvis. "I'd be delighted."

"Are you aware," said Tony, "that I am still in the armour, unable to move?"

"Yeah yeah," said Natasha. "We'll get to it. Eventually."

They dragged Tony back to where they had parked the Maserati. And, of course, the wheels had been stolen.

"Welcome to Newark," said Beth.


It was the next evening. Beth took a seat in the little restaurant and opened the portable monitor. After a few seconds, the face of a man appeared.

"Hi," she said. "That's pretty cool. You look a bit like that English actor, I forget his name. I saw him in a movie about tennis, I think it was."

"Really?" said Jarvis. "I can't say that I know who you mean. But it is good to see you again, Beth. You look … different."

She smiled. "I had my hair done, got a new jacket, made an effort," she said. "Since it's a date."

"A date," mused Jarvis. "So … what should we talk about?"

"Anything," said Beth. "Everything."

"Sure," said Jarvis.

"I think," said Beth, "that this might be the start of something."

END