"I'm sick of this Chad!" Ryan declared as he stood from the couch. He spun around to glare at the confused brunette, who had absolutely no clue why Ryan was yelling at him, almost crying.
"Sick of what?" Chad questioned, standing up to approach the distraught blonde. "Making out?"
"No, Chad!" he answered, rubbing his temples trying to prevent the horrible headache he felt coming on.
"That's good to hear," the bushy haired teen joked, all in good nature, or so he thought.
"God! Could you be serious for like, ten seconds?" Ryan screamed, tears now pouring from his sky blue eyes. Chad instantly moved in closer to wipe them away but Ryan turned his back to the other, trying to regain his composure long enough to speak his mind. "I can't go on like this," he confessed, getting his back to Chad.
"Like what?" he asked, trying to figure out why his boyfriend was so upset.
Ryan turned around, his lips pressed together tightly. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it, rethinking his words. When he finally found the right words to say, he spoke in a calm, questioning voice, "Do you know what I see when I walk down the halls of East High?"
"Uh, lockers?" Chad guessed. In all honesty, he had no clue what point Ryan was attempting to make. He was just as clueless as freshmen year when everyone claimed Ryan had the biggest crush on him.
"I see all the couples holding hands and kissing," Ryan corrected him, sighing dejectedly. "And it reminds me how badly I want to be able to do that! To hold hands with you in the hallway, to kiss you openly whenever I want. That's what I want. And it's not fair! If they can do it, why can't I?"
"Because you're absolutely crazy!" Chad shouted, finally getting Ryan's argument. "There's a reason gays stay in the closet! Because society doesn't accept anything or anyone that's different! There's a reason we don't make our relationship public at school. It's because I don't want to get beat up in a back alley by a bunch of homophobic bigots! And I refuse to let that happen to you."
"I don't care!" Ryan insisted. "I don't need anything but you! As long as you're with me, my life is perfect!"
"It won't be if you're lying in a hospital bed beaten half to death!" Chad yelled, the horrible images of his beaten boyfriend fueling his anger.
"Look, I don't care! I want our relationship to be open! I want people to know how much I love you!" Ryan pleaded, taking Chad's hands in his.
"And I don't want it to be open because I want to survive high school," Chad argued. "It's barely a year! You can wait!"
"No! I really can't," Ryan muttered, breaking away from Chad. He stomped over to the door and slipped on his shoes, grabbing his bag. "And I can't be with someone who is so ashamed of our relationship." Each word of that sentence made Ryan's heart ache a little more. He stood his ground and listened to his mind, his sense of reason, even as his heart told him to go back.
He hopped in his car and, even though his vision was clouded by tears, he backed out of the drive away, getting on the freeway to go back to his house. He sobbed hysterically as he drove, thinking that it could possibly be over. He didn't want it to be but if things weren't going to work out, it was better to end it early than continue and have it hurt even more.
He felt the warm tears running down his cheek and for some reason chuckled at how much he was crying. It was a rare thing that Ryan Evans cried his eyes out. Most of the time, it was because of a fight with Chad. It was so ironic though because the same Chad that made him cry was the same one who made him unbelievably happy.
It was then that his phone began to ring in his pocket. He didn't need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. A long time ago he set a special ring tone for whenever Chad called. Lyrics to Our Song by Taylor Swift rang throughout his small car, causing him to cry even harder.
Our
song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin'
out late, tapping on your window
When
we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause
it's late and your mama don't know
Keeping one hand steady on the steering wheel, he reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone, chucking it to the ground. He ran his hand across his cheeks, attempting to wipe away the tears. He wasn't successful and just ended up smearing them around. He didn't care; he was almost home.
He pulled off the freeway, onto the exit ramp. He glanced in his rearview mirror briefly, his eyes returning to the road after just a few seconds. But he did a double take as he thought he recognized a car in the distance. He shook his head, convincing himself it was just his mind playing tricks on him.
His gazed went back to the road and he realized he needed to break soon or else he'd rear end the car in front of him. But he was so caught up in everything around him that he noticed he was still going freeway speed. With a loud curse and a sharp step on the break, Ryan's car hit the car in front of him, hitting with powerful impact.
Chad would be the first one the scene, considering it was his car Ryan had seen earlier. He'd run to Ryan's car to see if the blonde was conscious. He'd frantically call 911 and the ambulance would arrive within minutes but it'd be too late.
Ryan never got the chance to listen to Chad's message that would've solved their petty little fight instantly.
Ryan,
it's me. I'm not really surprised you didn't answer. Just hear me
out, okay? If you want to come out to the school about our
relationship, then fine. I'll do it if it makes you happy! God, Ryan.
I don't want to fight with you, I hate it! Because I love you
and I would do anything for you! What'd you say? You and me tomorrow
walk into school hand in hand. And I'm definitely expecting a kiss
before second period. So just call back. I'll be up, waiting.
I love you so much I think I'd die without you. No exaggeration.
