DISCLAIMER: Dark Angel isn't mine, isn't affiliated with me, nor is making me any money.

A/N: I know, I know…ANOTHER CHAPTER FIC? Have I gone nuts? Probably. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, Speed Dial is almost over, so is Identical, so I figured, I'd start another one. I'm apparently a glutton for punishment. This is a response, that I promised sometime in…oh, JULY to Candy Centric, to her challenge as quoted below:

"Bunny 3 - crusin' the Caribbean - I was shocked, nay, horrified, to learn there has never been a story about Max & Alec being on a cruise together.

+ Points for

A) M/A going on the cruise for some sort of mission - An EO mission maybe? To meet a contact? It's up to you.

B )Not having M/A be a couple, at least not before they get on the boat. Er, ship.

C) NO NC17 (are you seeing a reoccurring theme here yet?) Or if that's what you want it as - Can you make a lower rated counterpart? Please?

D )Making the title "The Love Boat"."

So, for CC: here's The Love Boat.

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The Love Boat: Chapter 1: By Accident

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Well, this was how it all started: with good intentions. And now he was on an ocean liner with sunny skies, gorgeous bikini-clad women, eat-all-you-can buffets at every corner, and amusements to keep him occupied for the next two weeks of this tropical cruise.

Alec was sure he was in hell.

He was on a cruise ship filled with half-naked women. That by itself would have put him up in cloud nine…but then there was the little caveat represented by a narrow platinum band wrapped around his left ring finger.

He was married.

Alec groaned out loud. He was married to one of the most beautiful—if not THE most beautiful—woman on the damned ship, and he wasn't getting any of the perks.

He still remembered the ceremony, performed right on the docks, in one of the pretty little garden settings. It had taken weeks to prepare, but he had said the requisite vows, and so had she. They had exchanged simple platinum bands, and shared a chaste peck of a kiss.

A chaste peck wasn't exactly what Alec had had in mind, but he wasn't sure if Max would slap him in front of their witnesses if he tried any more than that.

It would totally have blown their cover.

He glanced down at his wife, who was wearing an expression that could only be described as thunderous, and he sighed heavily. "Max, this is our honeymoon, can you at least pretend to be having fun?"

Her eyes snapped up towards his. "And by having fun, you mean plaster a fake smile on my face, gush all over you, and melt into a gooey puddle everytime you look at me?" she asked with a sarcastic roll of her eyes.

Alec smirked, "Well, now that you've mentioned all that gushing and melting, I have a couple more suggestions," he wriggled his eyebrows playfully at her. "Like, how about all the hugs and kisses I'm supposed to be getting? Not to mention a certain activity that puts the honey in honeymoon?"

"In your dreams, Pretty Boy,"

"Call me, Hubby," he chuckled. "Sounds so much more…husbandly. Describes me to a T."

"Oh, please," she sighed. "You'd be the last person I'd call husband-material."

"Hey, you married me," he pointed out with mock offense.

"By accident," she reminded him with a disdainful smirk. "Trust me, I wouldn't have married you otherwise even if you were the last man on this planet."

He chuckled, enjoying their little banter. He honestly never took offense with Max's barbed tongue. It was just the way she was, and truth be told, he wouldn't have her any other way.

Not that he had her.

But it was fun otherwise. He could still remember the funny little conversation she had shared with Logan over the phone considering their marital status.

"…so, all I have to do is produce your fake marriage certificate and you're on your way," explained Logan in his officious Eyes Only voice. "After all, it's not like Alec's really your husband."

A small look of panic had crossed Max's face before she steeled herself. "Actually, he is my…husband," admitted Max weakly over the phone.

"WHAT!" cried Logan, screaming into his receiver.

"Yeah, remember that guy you hooked us up with? That plumber guy who's cousin was the Justice? You told us that he could perform a fake ceremony? Well turns out he was actually the Justice whose cousin is a plumber."

"Oh. My. God."

Max had tried to sound reassuring. "Well, at least we've got all the necessary documents…and it makes getting caught a hell of a lot less likely," she pointed out reasonably. Although Alec was sure Logan wasn't seeing reason at that moment.

"But…but…you're married?"

"Yeah. Aren't you gonna congratulate us?" drawled Alec, as he took the receiver from Max. She was a little too upset to be dealing with Logan right now.

"Alec, put Max back on the phone, we're not done with our conversation," ordered Logan, his voice ringing with irritation.

Alec was also getting irritated. He knew that Max had led Logan to believe that he was already seeing Max in the first place, and Logan had given him his blessing to be with Max…so what was the problem? As far as he was concerned, all was right with the world. "Look, Logan, Max and I have been together a while now, why shouldn't we get married?"

He saw Max's jaw drop down in slack surprise. He almost laughed out loud, but kept his composure. It was almost as amusing as Logan's attempts at sputtering out a reply.

Max snatched the phone out of his hands. "Logan?" she called into the receiver. "Look, just give us the intelligence for this mission so we can get it over with."

Alec couldn't hear anything on Logan's end for a while. Probably struck dumb. Finally, he heard him sigh, "Sure. It's what I do."

He placed a hand on the small of Max's back, and carefully, almost subconsciously guided her through the small crowd. "Consider our marriage fate," he ventured. "If you didn't choose me, Manticore did at first, and now circumstances have."

Max tilted her head at him in that way she often did when she was resigned to her fate. "Don't remind me," she sighed heavily as they walked in to the main lobby of the liner to register. "Could my life suck any worse?" she muttered under her breath.

Alec heard her of course, "Be careful what you wish for, Maxie," he drawled, and threw an arm around her shoulders. She started to pull away, but he held her fast against his side. "Uh-uh, honey, we're a happy couple on our honeymoon," he reminded her.

He could almost hear her gritting her teeth, before reluctantly wrapping her arm around his waist.

Alec stifled the small sense of rightness that welled up in him at the way she fit against him. They walked in perfect synchronization, without the awkwardness some couples have when locked fully against each other's side. Nope, this felt completely natural to him.

Except maybe for the long-suffering sigh that came out of Max.

"Max, if you keep acting like that, I swear I'm gonna embarrass you."

She looked up at him skeptically. "Like this could get any more embarrassing?"

He grinned cheekily at her, though just a tiny bit hurt by her remark, and squeezed her harder against his side. "Trust me, sweetheart, I know how to make things worse. I'd take you around this ship yell, 'Check out my HOT wife. I'm King of the World!' at the top of my lungs."

"You wouldn't."

He threw her a look that said that he would.

"I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"So, smile." he ordered.

"I am!" she snapped.

He threw her an amused look. "Maxie, sweetie, that smile could turn men into stone. Even Medusa looked better."

She pinched his waist where her hand was resting just above his belt, and he flinched away from her. "Ow!" he cried in surprised pain. That drew a genuine smile from her. "Hey, that's the spirit!"

She smiled even wider. "Maybe I should keep hurting you. It's 'bout the only thing that's worth smiling about from this whole fiasco."

Alec sighed mockingly. "Max, Max, Max," he sighed. "Don't you know that you already hurt me in a place where the sun don't shine?"

"Oh, that's sick, Alec!" she cried, pushing away from him. But he could see the small glint of amusement in her eyes.

"I was talking about my heart. What were you thinking about?" he leered at her.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, a particular cage-fighting incident…" she trailed off with a smirk.

He wore a pained expression on his face. "Just thinking about it, hurts like hell. That was a low blow."

"Well, you wouldn't throw the fight for a good cause," she replied testily.

"I was up five hundred grand!" he exclaimed in exasperation. "Who throws that kind of money away for a good cause?"

She opened her mouth, but no reply came out. Instead she glared at him and clamped her mouth shut.

Alec couldn't help but smirk at her. "That's right. Nobody." Then he tilted his head as a thought occurred to him. "Well, maybe your boyfriend would. From what I heard, he gave up his entire fortune for a good cause." He snorted in disdain and smirked down at her.

She had a troubled frown on her face. "He's not my boyfriend," she muttered, purposely not addressing the issue of Logan throwing away his entire fortune on some vague principle. "Besides, I'm married now."

"Noooo? Really?" he drawled mockingly. "To whom?"

"Oh, shuttup!" she fumed.

"Admit it, Max," he drawled with an arrogant grin. "Being married to the handsomest, sexiest, most charming, most intelligent, and most unprincipled guy in the world isn't so bad."

She growled a little in frustration and wrinkled her nose. "No, it's not bad at all, Alec. It's a freaking disaster!"

He smiled adoringly down at her, blinking his eyes and milking them for all their sincerity. He watched as a gurgle of laughter escaped from her lips and she swatted him playfully on the shoulder. His heart lightened at that and he winked at her.

They were now closing in on the reception desk, and Alec immediately reached over and took Max's hand in his. Their fingers intertwined automatically, their palms pressing intimately against each other. Surprisingly, Max's hand was relaxed in his, yet holding on firmly.

They reached the desk and he smiled brilliantly at the very well-endowed receptionist. She was sitting down, and looking over the receptionist desk meant that he was looking down at her.

It was only a coincidence that his eyes happened to graze the top of the very low-cut neckline of her shirt.

Barely a fraction of a second had passed while his gaze rested on the receptionist's assets, before he felt a heavy hand slap him upside the head. "Eyes front, soldier," seethed Max. "You're married!"

His eyes did snap up front, not from the order, but from sheer surprise at her unexpectedly vehement reaction. He quickly glanced down at Max and gave her a knowing grin.

She was jealous.

And she wasn't playing a part, either. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, her lips were clamped down so tight they were a thin white line, and he caught the murderous look she tossed at the receptionist.

Looking to reassure her, he immediately pulled Max against him. He rested her in front of him, his arms wrapping comfortably around her waist as if he had done this millions of times before instead of the first time. He nuzzled her cheek lightly. He told himself it was for the act, but he knew it was because she smelled so damned good.

She tensed briefly, probably shocked that he was being overtly affectionate. But he noticed the smirk she threw at the receptionist. Then she relaxed in the cradle of his arms, and leaned back against his chest as if she'd done this millions of times before, too. She also tilted her head slightly so that he had better access for nuzzling. Alec swallowed back his surprise, and just resettled her comfortably in his arms, happy to continue being affectionate.

Who was he to complain? Like he'd said before, he was married to the most beautiful girl on the damned cruise ship. And she smelled good, was soft to the touch, and most of all, letting him touch her.

He was in for an ass-kicking later, he was sure. For now, he would just enjoy himself.

The receptionist glanced briefly at Alec, a flirtatious smile on her face. But her eyes drifted down to Max, and the smile immediately lost its flirtatious edge. Instead it took on a professional glaze, her face settling into a practiced mask of greeting.

"Welcome to the Love Boat: The perfect Cruise for your Honeymoon!"