Frailty
- Daianta
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I wish it could be different... *cries*
I wrote this after I watched the last Harry Potter film. Don't ask me why this came to me, but it did. Anyway, please enjoy?
Word Count: 1,264
It is true greatness, to have in one the frailty of a man, and the security of a God.
- Sir Francis Bacon
Castiel sat on the steps of a tall, gleaming building, almost crouched over. His hands played with an old leaflet, twisting it in cold fingers. His eyes were unfocused and unblinking, lost in himself. Around him, people walked, almost taking no notice of the man in the old trench coat.
The casual observer would claim that he was waiting patiently for someone.
Cas was not waiting. He was lost. He had been stuck on earth after the Apocalypse, after time had moved on, people had died. He had been the only one who remained. It killed him every second he thought about it.
Behind closed eyes, Castiel could still see Dean in his glory; as a man who cared deeply for his brother, and for the angel. A man who killed the dark monsters and brought light to those who needed it. Cas thought -no, knew- that he would never find someone with eyes the same hue as Dean's. Green, such a pretty green.
Dean Winchester invaded Cas' senses in ways a human wouldn't understand.
He could feel Dean's lips on his own, even years after the human had died. He could hear the staccato beat of Dean's heart in his ears; a ringing that was strong and loud. It deafened Castiel. He could smell the homely scent of Dean; one he had come to associate with devotion and hospitality.
But he was lost without the human. They had grown old, well, Dean had. Castiel had remained by his side, looking the same. He observed the world changing around him, watched as Dean had changed, mentally and physically. He and Sam, in the years leading up to their very human deaths, looked like spectres of their previous lives. Haunting. Cas had always assumed that they would never age, along with him, but he knew that was not the case. It was stupid; a naive angelic thought that really, hadn't had much thought put into it in the first place.
Castiel realised, sitting on the stone steps of the building, that he never really learned how to understand humanity. He loved them with his entire being; because that was what he was born for, but he had never taken the time to learn emotions. The pain that bloomed in his chest at the thought of Dean occurred at all times of the day, usually without warning and left in a similar fashion.
He was tired. Heaven called him but he ignored them, wanting to spend a bit longer on Earth. It was the last reminder he had of Dean Winchester, and he sought to hold on to it for as long as possible. He dropped the twisted pamphlet onto the floor and stood, surveying the men, women and children that walked past, some more purposefully than others.
It was sometime after Dean's death Cas realised Gabriel was calling for him; as a Messenger of the Lord, it was his duty to call and summon angels and people. Castiel ignored his elder brother and hid, remaining in Lawrence. Dean's birthplace.
Castiel took a slow walk down the street, following the flow of human beings. He had no strength to fight against the incoming tide of people, and merely followed like a sheep. As he had realised before, he was tired.
He shrugged off comments from street vendors attempting to sell him stuff, and turned right at the street, taking a slower walk down a narrow alleyway. It was quiet here, and he relished in it.
Until he felt someone appear behind him.
He turned around slowly, catching sight of his elder brother. Gabriel looked like he hadn't changed a bit.
"What do you want?" He asked, not ready for a confrontation with the Archangel. He knew that it was a long time coming, but in the seconds he asked the question, he knew he really had been running from his family. He missed Dean too much to go back home. He wanted to wallow alone in his misery.
"Brother," Gabriel said, voice dark with concern, "It's time to go home,"
Cas shook his head, "I don't want to," He didn't care if he sounded like a child.
Gabriel sighed, taking a step towards his younger sibling. When Castiel made to take something out of his trench coat, he stopped, and raised his hands to show compliance.
"You need to. Cas, you're killing yourself by staying here. Trust me, I know all about it. The thing is, Castiel, what you desire is at home, waiting for you. It's not here,"
The younger angel shook his head. "I've lost Dean, Gabriel. I can't feel him anymore. And it hurts so much... So much,"
He shook his head and tried to step past the Archangel, who turned and pinned him against the wall. Castiel tried to attack back, but Gabriel stopped him.
"Did you ever think that perhaps you can't feel Dean here because he's upstairs?"
Cas looked confused.
"Father knew. He knew how much you cared for the human, and I must say, he doesn't get involved very often," Gabriel sounded bitter about it, but masked it with a sad smile, "Dean's waiting for you. You won't find another person like him down here."
He released Castiel, who was staring at Gabriel as if he had two heads. "That can't be right. I thought he would be..."
"What? You thought he would be sent to Hell again?" At the shake of Castiel's head, Gabriel continued, "You think they would remain in the Kingdom? No, Father has made it so Dean and Sam can be with the other angels."
"You asked for Sam, didn't you?"
Gabriel didn't answer, but grabbed a hold of Castiel again, "I'm gonna take you up there, now."
Although flying was something Castiel loved, being pulled by someone else was not as much fun. Colours blurred around him, sounds escaped him and he felt like he was being trapped in a box too small for him.
And then it was over. Castiel glanced around at the home he had missed for over a century. He was surrounded by green grass, trees and plants. He was barefoot, and he curled his toes into the grass, relishing the feel of it underneath him.
He noted Gabriel was still standing next to him, a grin now plastered to his face. The pair of them could feel a few entities approaching them, and Castiel looked up.
The soul that stared back at him almost wounded him. It was beautiful; golden, shimmering tones; a rainbow of colours that gently blended together. As it got closer it changed, resembled Dean Winchester. He looked Glorious; he looked happy. There were tear tracks on his cheeks, and a grin on his face that was bigger than Gabriel's.
Sam stood next to him, but veered off to pull Gabriel into a hug.
Cas' eyes remained fixed on Dean.
"Dean?"
He nodded, pressing a hand to Castiel's cheek; a loving gesture he had regularly used when he was alive.
Castiel found himself unable to speak; choked up. He felt his eyes sting with an emotion he hadn't felt since Dean had died from old age. A single tear made his way down his face, and Dean brushed it away with his other hand, both hands holding the angel's head now.
"I'm here, Cas. I'm here."
Thanks for reading.
This is what happens when I get my heart broken by Harry Potter. All that angst! *_*
