That Kind of Innocence by MizzieOnTumblr
Something Wicked (1x18)
"Sometimes I wish I could have that kind of innocence."
"If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too."
Dean had put Sammy to bed that night. He glared at Cas, despite knowing that this was his own idea in the first place.
"This is it. I can't undo what is about to happen. Are you sure of this, Dean?"
"More of this than anything else in my life." Didn't mean he wanted it.
Castiel leaned over Sam Winchester's comatose form. It would only last a few more hours.
Enough time for Dean to make a clean escape.
"Will it hurt?"
"He won't remember."
Dean nodded. It wouldn't matter, then. Good.
The idea hadn't been new. In fact, Dean had been planning this for years, and wishing for it since he and Sammy were little kids. He had done it to Lisa and Ben. Well, Cas had done it, but Dean came up with it. A clean break. A new life, away from the trials.
The trials were killing him, after all. This was better. This fixed everything.
The logistics had been the complicated bit. Finding Sam a new I.D., figuring out a new back story...Dean suddenly understood how Chuck must have felt sitting in front of his computer, forced to come up with a new chapter. At first, Dean just used his dreams. Sam went to law school, got a job at a good firm, found a girlfriend, and lived happily ever after...but Sam was too smart. He'd see through it eventually, and the memories would come flooding back.
So, Dean sent a friend to do some sleuthing, and when Cas told him about Amelia he knew he had his lead. Dean found Amelia, and they talked for a long time. She didn't seem the least bit surprised to learn that Sam's dead brother had come back to life, and when she asked Dean if he'd been brought back by demons, his feigned shock gave her the gall she needed to continue. Don's return hadn't exactly been natural. Dean's return hadn't exactly been demons. They understood each other, and more importantly, they both understood Sam.
They both loved him, too.
Amelia was in. Sam had a home. Sam had a job.
He still needed a back story. Dean called Charlie, and she just as good as sad no. He called again. She changed her number.
Cas found her. She tattooed angel proofing onto her skin.
She used henna ink. She took a bath.
Dean visited Charlie the next morning and begged. She punched him.
Then Sam pulled Bobby out of hell and his body fell apart. And Charlie needed a favour.
She was in. Sam had a little sister. He had a dead mother. He had a childhood nerdy enough to suit his personality.
And, of course, Crowley was thrilled to have one less Winchester to worry about, and the angels had no beef against an ignorant nobody.
It would work.
Cas' hands started to glow.
"I'm not joking, Dean. You do this, you never turn back. I can't change his life twice. It would kill him."
"He stays with me, he dies anyway."
"And what will happen to you?"
Dean did all but roll his eyes.
"I handle the last trial. I close the gates of Hell, maybe, and we keep on keeping on."
"You won't be able to see him."
"Then I guess this is goodbye."
"We can't give him any clues. It's another wall, Dean: if it breaks, I won't be able to take on the damage again."
"It won't break, though, will it?"
Cas sighed. "No. Not without reason."
"Well? Get on with it, then."
"Is there anything you want to say first?"
"Cas."
Dean was getting impatient, so Cas moved quickly. He rested his burning palms against Sam's head, pressing his fingers into the younger brother's temples. Dean couldn't look away. This was finally it, his chance to give Sammy a life he deserved. It wasn't quite the one he'd earned, but it would be enough, and he would be happy. The monsters under the bed would go away, and he would feel safe. He would be safe.
Dean had put Sammy to bed that night. Kevin was back, and Castiel was all over the place, but for a moment things were boring. Sammy practically fainted after watching Dean and Cas fight over some drama or another, and he was trying to figure out the last trial. It was too much for Dean's little brother. It was too much for Dean to watch. He didn't have to beg Cas to agree to it.
The angel was desperate to regain Dean's trust, he almost forgot the trust Sam had shown him the entire time. When he remembered, he didn't care. Cas loved Sam, too, and this was better for him.
They were like two parents, always looking out for their son's best interests.
They were Sam's big brother and his angel, and they were going to fix everything.
It didn't take long for Cas to finish the wall. Sam barely flinched in his sleep.
"It is done." Dean was frozen. He had put Sammy to bed that night. "I'll take him to Amelia's."
"Just a few more minutes."
"Dean, no." It wasn't harsh, or cruel. It was simply best.
Dean nodded. Cas replaced his hand onto Sammy's body. A wing brushed the air.
"Wait!"
Cas did as he was told.
Dean had put Sammy to bed that night. His little brother was barely conscious, and not making enough sense for Dean to take his words seriously. Dean couldn't lift him, so he dragged Sam's feet along the ground, barely getting him down the hallway. Sam was muttering as Dean pulled the covers over him.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Get some rest, I'll catch you on the flip-side."
It wasn't true. He turned around, ready to call Cas.
"Dean?"
He shouldn't have answered.
"Yeah, Sammy?"
"I'm tired."
"Good, that's what the bed is for."
"No, I mean...Dean. I'm exhausted."
"I know, Sammy."
That's the point. That's why I'm doing this.
"But...Dean..."
"What?"
"Just...I'm here. I'm okay. It's okay."
No, it's not.
"Happy to hear it."
"I'm with you. All the time."
"Me too, little brother."
Sort of.
"I'll find you every time...we'll find each other..." Sam yawned. "It's what we do..."
No more words. He was sound asleep.
"Goodnight, Sammy."
It was all he needed to say, and then he nodded to Cas. Dean was alone in seconds, and Sam was gone for good. He would be happier this way, living without the monsters. It wasn't perfect, but it was Dean's dream come true. He didn't even cry.
And he didn't look for Sam, not ever.
But somewhere, in the back of his mind, until the day that Dean finally, actually died, he knew Sammy would find him. Eventually. After all: it's what they did.
