P/S: I apply a few changes but rest assured, guys, because none of them would give much effect to this story. Still, sorry for the inconvenience though. I am just a beginner after all... Well, I have been thinking about making a sequel for a while now but I cannot guarantee it yet because I am pretty busy with school these days. If not, I might just leave it be although a bad ending is not my taste at all. Thanks for the reviews!

Author's Notes: This is my first yuri-ish story ever! Even though I am a straight guy, I always find myself captivated by same-sex relationships because it is very sad – to live some kind of love that could never be right. In my opinion, love purely exists between two mutual hearts and people should not be bothered by genders at all. Perhaps I am used to it because I have many friends from LGBT community. One of them was always bullied at school and it also affected me because I could not do anything to help him and he never blamed me for it. "It is okay if they disgust me; I mean, even God despise our kinds." These are his last words before he committed suicide a few weeks later. He left me a diary and it is very heart-breaking. I regret that I did nothing back then and I hope there would be more justice for LGBT in the future. You would forever be my friend… Rest in peace. Thank you for reading my long thought, guys, I do appreciate it a lot.

Disclaimers: With all due respect, K-On! belongs to Kakifly / Kyoto Animation © Alternate Universe and "Photograph" is performed by Ed Sheeran. This story is a work of fiction and inspired. Some characters are the product of my imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.


Ritsu's P.O.V.


Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

But it is the only thing that I know

"I am getting married by the end of next month, Ritsu. I want to tell you earlier… but I do not have time. I am sorry."

"Congratulations, Mio, I am very happy for you. Geez, I have been worried a bit since you rarely talk about boys…"

Everyone has a secret. As for me, I too have one that is… I am in love with my best friend. Things would be pretty much easier if and only if we do not share the same gender. I know it is a taboo; still, I could not help it. Dear God, how come a same-sex love would ever be a sin in your eyes and why does it has to be me of all people? Why her?

When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

"His name is Maiku Arita and he is a senior at my university. We also went to the same department in my first year."

"I see… you must hit it off pretty well with him since you two have the same interest. You know, literatures and stuff."

I honestly do not know for how long I have been holding back every time I spend time with you. I only think that as long as I can stay by your side, I will tell as many lies as I have to. Your happiness is my happiness. Nevertheless, this thought alone makes me sad sometimes. I hope I could be the one for you and I want you to be mine, but… how?

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

"I wish that you could be our photographer, Ritsu. I showed him some of your works before and he agreed with me."

"Alright, let us go to my studio then. We will discuss everything at there. I bet you would love our matrimonial theme."

You are normal. It is the difference between you and me. I am not straight and at times, I even cry myself to bed because of this fact. It hurts a lot to see you smile – mulling over somebody else, yet I cannot do anything about it. I try my best to show you that I am pleased; still, I could not help but resent you at the same time. Please forgive me.

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken and time is forever frozen still

"Whoa, your studio is very big! This is amazing. You must have taken a lot of pictures for celebrities in this place."

"I am a professional after all, so… yeah. Come on, I will show you the way to my office. Trust me, it is organized."

"I do not love you, no, I do not love you." You would never know how many times I repeat these words to myself – simply hoping that one day; I could bring myself to believe it. I am afraid of losing you because you are my best friend – one of the few people whom never give me those judgmental looks… I am so greedy for wanting more.

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

"This is the album we made together during our middle high, right? My, you are way shorter than me back then."

"Yeah, you used to tease me a lot about it and now… your head can barely align to my shoulder. Time does fly."

All along, I have been suffering more than enough pain that I could endure from being different. I may be disgusting to the likes of you – normal people; still, I have feelings. I am hurt so I cry, but I learn as I live to the point I can finally take it if they loathe me. However, if you ever turn out to be one of them… I do not think that I can even live anymore.

Holding me closer until our eyes meet

You would never be alone, wait for me to come home

"Is this also a part of your collection? I have never seen this white album before… It seems old to be a new one."

"No, stop, that album is actually a customer's private. You cannot open it because it would violate our directives."

This is my biggest secret and I am willing to keep it hidden forever for the sake of our friendship, your happiness and their expectations of you. You are such a beautiful soul and I would always wish the best for you. God, please forgive me for straying from the right path. I understand if you would not give me your blessings, but no love is a sin.


Mio's P.O.V.


Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul

And it is the only thing that I know, know

"Honey, are you sure with this decision? It will not be an easy path and many people would disapprove of you two."

"I do not want it to be this way either, mama, still… I do love her. I am very sorry for being a disappointment to you."

Everyone has a secret. As for me, I too have one that is… I am in love with my best friend. She is a thoughtful person and I would always turn to her every time I have problems. We are very close because we do not have any other friend given that I am a shy type and she is… well, special. She is a lesbian and chooses to be open about it.

I swear it will get easier, remember that with every piece of you

And it is the only thing we take with us when we die

"I bet you must be the same as her since you are her best friend after all. Eew, love between girls is so disgusting."

"No, you are entirely wrong! Umm, I-uh… I am not into that. We are not an item and I already like somebody else."

"I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am sorry." Really, she would never know how much I regret it whenever I recall that painful memory. I do not mean to hurt her and I am absolutely not as strong as her. I simply cannot help it because at that time, I still could not fully accept myself for being different. I even take some pills so that I can sleep at night.

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

"I am sorry… I cannot find another way to convince them at that point in time when they suddenly confronted me."

"No, it is true anyway. I am just glad that you are not hurt. Well, I have to run an errand today, so I will leave first."

You are so kind... I know you want to distant yourself from me ever since then because you are afraid that they would end up hurting me again. Instead of trying to rekindle our distraught relationship, I decide to play along with your ploy and I admit it is my biggest regret. I should have at least talked into you that we are basically the same.

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken and time is forever frozen still

"You know, I actually plan to further my study abroad. It might be hard but I will work it out. I am going to miss you."

"I see… You are very smart, Mio, so you would do just fine wherever you are. I, on the other hand, am a total mess."

Honestly, I will stay for sure if and only if you try a little harder in making me stay back then. Sometimes, I even find myself wonder what would become of us if I ever confess to you during my last day in Japan. Still, after having so many disturbing thoughts about implications that would arise from it, I resolve to let you go… although it hurts a lot.

Holding me closer until our eyes meet

You would never be alone

"Good morning, everyone… I am a senior and my name is Maiku Arita. You all can address me as 'Mike' for short."

"Mi-chan, do you want to know something? I heard from a senior that he completely falls head over heels for you."

This is my biggest secret and I am willing to keep it hidden forever for the sake of our friendship, their happiness and people's expectations of me. Just by engaging him, my mama no longer cries for my difference and my papa finally stops giving me those sad looks. In the end, everyone is happy… except me. God, I wonder if this is the right choice.


Ritsu's P.O.V.


And if you hurt me

That is okay, baby, only words bleed

"You know, I check out your address earlier but I could only find an empty lot. Your neighbors are clueless either."

"I am living in a small rental house with some of my colleagues. We divide the monthly payment equally to get by."

To tell the truth, things have been hard on me since you left. I always cry whenever I see my dying mother and my distressed brother. I do try to call you but I am scared. I mean, what if you already forget about me and what if you find someone else? I do not think that I could handle it, yet now… I guess everything has changed. I have changed.

Inside these pages, you just hold me

And I would never let you go

"Okay, how about your family? If I remember correctly, Satoshi-kun should be in his second year in college, right?"

"Yea, that brat is lucky enough to be accepted into a prestigious one. Sadly, my mother cannot celebrate it with us."

It is hard to believe but honestly, I even forget you these days. Perhaps it is because of my busy schedule or maybe I finally move on and get over you. Yeah, I am at my bad times when I find her – my new love. She is so beautiful and accepting too. I mean, she accepts my flaws and she is even willing to be open about us. It is just too good to be true.

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

"Umm… I am so sorry for not being there with you, Ritsu… Above and beyond, you should have told me sooner."

"I do not want to disturb you with your studies, Mio. Moreover, it is hard enough for me to deal with Satoshi alone."

I am used to think this life is unfair, but… I guess God is smiling at me after all. Day by day, she brings colors to my black and white world. I cannot even tell since when does my heart start to beat faster at the mere sight of her although you are still my number one. After all, I do not want to hurt her, so… I am sorry for choosing her over you.

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

"You have changed a lot. It makes me miss the older you more. Who are you and what did you do to my friend?"

"I am just growing up, okay? I cannot be immature forever, especially when I am all that Satoshi have right now."

Still, you are so captivating. I really hope that he could see it in you and always cherish you for the rest of his life… because I would if I could. Truthfully, if you would only let me, I could hold you in my arms and not let go even though forever is over. I will also tell you those three words every day and every night until I breathe my last breath. I swear.

You can fit me inside the necklace

You got when you were sixteen

"I still cannot believe that you are the same sister who always teases her brother endlessly so many years ago."

"Thanks for your kind compliment, Akiyama-san. By the way, I need you to fill this form with your preferences."

In the end, it is just a wishful thinking. I believe this world would reach its limit even before the time could come. You are straight and I am not. This is a fact and nothing can change it. However, if you ever change someday… I will try my best to stop you as I know very well how much it hurts. Frankly, loving you would forever be my favorite mistake.


Mio's P.O.V.


Next to your heartbeat – where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

"Do I really have to answer all these questions? You certainly know my favorites. We are best friends after all."

"Very well… I guess your first choice would be a white theme with simple decorations made up of hydrangeas."

To tell the truth, things have been hard on me since I left. I always cry whenever I take a look at our old photographs because we are so much happier back then. I wish we could stay like that forever… I do try to call you but I am scared. I mean, what if I burst into tears as soon as I hear your voice? I do not think that I can take it, so I never call.

And if you hurt me

That is okay, baby, only words bleed

"It sounds great. I will leave this matter in your hands then. Here is my phone number and also… my fiancé's."

"This is a couple one! You two are so lovey-dovey. I bet you even plan to have a baby by the end of this year."

I am used to miss your smile, but now… I hate it. The fact that you seem happy for my engagement hurts me deeply. How could you be wishing for my happiness with someone else when you are all that is left of my happiness? I seriously hope you would at least bite your lips and turn away once I tell you about it… Honestly, what am I to you?

Inside these pages, you just hold me

And I would never let you go

"Stop teasing me, Ritsu, it is not funny. Anyways, thank you for having me today despite your tight schedule."

"It is okay. You know that I would always make time for you. By the way, you can have this album as my gift."

I actually want to refuse it, but… I am speechless. This is too much. How could you do this to me? Do you know that I have to burn every photograph we took together just so that I could stop myself from being reminded of you? Well, I bet you would never know because I like it better as a secret, still… you should at least aware that I am not fine at all.

When I am away, I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamp-post back on sixth street

"This is not much, but I really wish you could tell your children that you once had a wonderful friend such as me."

"You are so boastful just now. You are not that wonderful. By the way, could you close your eyes for a second?"

You are not amazing at all, Ritsu. I am your best friend and we have been together since forever, yet… you cannot even notice my feelings. I mean, you always fall for those wrong girls and cry on my shoulder later. They do not even deserve you. If only you could look at me the way that I look at you… maybe I could work up my courage somehow.

Hearing you whisper through the phone

"Wait for me to come home"

"Seriously, you do not have to go that far. You know the way I swing. What if I get the wrong idea, you stupid?"

"This kiss is nothing but a small gift for everything, Ritsu. Thank you for being my best friend… I appreciate it."

In the end, it is just a wishful thinking. You only think of me as a friend in truth. This is a fact and nothing can change that. Besides, I will never be strong enough to walk on the same road as you and I know you would not let me either since you are so kind. You always think of me first before anything else. We might be friends, but… I love you more.


Author's Notes: Please forgive me for any grammatical errors every now and then. Besides, I am not good in English because it is not my first language and even my mee-maw is better than me. I really hope that you will enjoy this one-shot as much as I do. Just so you know, I want to name it as "The Oblivious And The Denier", but Trchy-senpai beat me to it. By the way, I choose 'Mike' as OC because I hate him. If you know about TiAom, then you will understand. There might be a continuation for this story if many readers encourage it. So, thanks for reading and keep the reviews coming, guys. Happy belated birthday, Ui. Ciao!