"Thor,"
"Son of Coul!" boomed Thor, looking up from his conversation with Jane to greet the agent.
Coulson wasn't looking at the blond, though. His attention was on something much more important.
Like why Darcy was cooing over a cat in a SHIELD issued lab, whether said cat was an escaped test subject (or if Darcy freed it- again), and if he would have to worry about it having super powers and going on a rampage.
SHIELD couldn't handle that, again.
"Thor," Coulson started again, "Why is there a cat in a SHIELD lab, and is it dangerous."
Thor's face grew grave, "Do not worry, my brother is not dangerous. Odin made sure of that."
"I'm sorry- did you say brother? As in Loki?" The agent's face remained blank and neutral as ever, but it really didn't do much to hide his thoughts.
Loki in SHIELD was not going to go over well with anyone.
Anyone besides Darcy.
"He's so cute! Jane, can we keep him?" Darcy had moved on from cooing, and was now taking pictures on her phone. The cat –Loki- was actually posing, twisting around in a way that made the college student squeal.
"No." Jane answered, exasperated, "Please stop asking."
Thor cleared his throat, addressing Coulson "Yes, that brother. My father thought it would be an apt punishment for him; to be small and helpless in the hands of the very people he tried to control. Mother suggested a cat." Looking sheepish, he continued "I believe they have miscalculated when it came to Midgards relationship with felines, or perhaps they underestimated Loki… or maybe this was my mother's plan to begin with, I cannot tell you."
They stared at each other for a moment.
Darcy awed at something, making them turn to look. Loki's eyes were huge, and he was batting pitifully towards Darcy's phone.
Coulson didn't get paid enough for this. Turning back to Thor he said, "Just make sure he stays out of trouble." Before leaving the room.
Ugh, he had to tell Furry about this.
He had to tell Barton about this.
-This is a line because FF is mean and decided to delete my line and screw with my formatting-
Loki was, believe it or not… content.
Don't get him wrong, at first it was terrible. Being so small, completely without his power… it was utterly humiliating, and he had almost wished to be back in the dungeons again.
At least there his mother brought him books to read.
At least there he had had thumbs.
So, no, he hadn't been happy, then they had the gall to hand him over to Thor of all people…
And then Thor had handed him off to some random mortal to play with his girlfriend.
Loki was offended, he did not feel saddened or betrayed or abandoned… no, nothing of the sort.
He was offended.
But that didn't matter now, because Loki realized where he had gone wrong the first time.
People couldn't follow him when the majority of them were already ruled by their cats.
And they didn't even know it. Truly he could not have picked a better substitute form. Already he had a follower. He was pretty sure she would shoot someone for him if he gave her sad eyes.
He would test this later. For now Loki was enjoying being able to bask in the attention without Thor and his friends hogging the limelight.
"Awe, do that again! Seriously, that was adorable. I'm putting this on the internet." The mortal (Darcy, was it?) told him, smirking at him, then at her phone.
'Yes, put it on this "internet". I'm sure it will be a marvelous way to gain more followers.' Loki tried to chuckle sinisterly, but it came out as a surprised combination of a purr and a mew, causing his new minion to coo even more, scratching him under his chin, which...
Oh, he could get used to this.
Loki stretched out, giving her more room to scratch.
-Line-
He was wrong. This is terrible.
"Hold still, you little-" Barton cursed, tightening his grip on Loki, who was trying his best to get away.
Get away from this fool and his ally's- Stark, Banner, and Lewis.
Loki's own minion turned against him. He should have seen it coming.
Everyone turns against him in the end…
Odin, Thor, his mother…
But that wasn't the point, no; the point was that these cretins were trying to put him in that monstrosity.
"Calm down Reindeer Games, it's not like it's anything bad!" Stark hissed when Loki scratched him, pulling his hand back and cradling it to his chest.
Darcy piped in, "Yeah, it's like an exact replica of your armor thingy from the invasion only in kitty form!"
It most certainly was not! Loki yowled, trying to swipe at her but was held back.
This was not his finest hour.
Banner got it all on film.
-Line-
They got him in the stupid thing; they got their picture and their video for the internet.
Then they set him free without taking it off. He had to wander the halls in a plastic model of his helmet and cheap imitation of his cape.
Loki didn't know whether to be proud, amused, or humiliated at how many agents seemed genuinely afraid of him right now.
Proud, because they feared him, amused, because they feared him, humiliated…
Because these were the people he failed to conquer? Really?!
Humiliating…
He was less than a foot tall, for crying out loud! He still tripped over the stupid cape when he walked too fast, how scary could he be?
He decided to go with proud, because even small and helpless and clumsy Loki could still strike fear into the hearts of many.
A/N: Requested by the guest 'Nightmare Chaser'. Sorry it didn't have everything you asked for, but real life happened.
Up next I have a group of sick Avengers and a caretaking Tony, or, a five-plus-one of the Avengers catching Tony doing something embarrassing, plus the time he caught them. I have yet to decide, as they were both request at the same time by 'RoseJustice'.
Also, since I'm now the crazy cat lady, Darcy will have more adventures, as requested by 'loretta537', on AO3, who is a cruel, cruel person.
